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No terms seemed too extravagant
Upon her to employ
I used to mope； and sigh； and pant；
Just like a love…sick boy！
Tink…a…tank！ Tink…a…tank！
But joy incessant palls the sense；
And love； unchanged； will cloy；
And she became a bore intense
Unto her love…sick boy！
With fitful glimmer burnt my flame；
And I grew cold and coy；
At last； one morning； I became
Another's love…sick boy。
Tink…a…tank！ Tink…a…tank！
CHORUS OF JURYMEN （advancing stealthily）
Oh； I was like that when a lad！
A shocking young scamp of a rover；
I behaved like a regular cad；
But that sort of thing is all over。
I'm now a respectable chap
And shine with a virtue resplendent
And； therefore； I haven't a scrap
Of sympathy with the defendant！
He shall treat us with awe；
If there isn't a flaw；
Singing so merrilyTrial…la…law！
Trial…la…law！ Trial…la…law！
Singing so merrilyTrial…la…law！
＇They enter the Jury…box。
RECITUSHER （on Bench）
Silence in Court； and all attention lend。
Behold your Judge！ In due submission bend！
Enter Judge on Bench
CHORUS
All hail； great Judge！
To your bright rays
We never grudge
Ecstatic praise。
All hail！
May each decree
As statute rank
And never be
Reversed in banc。
All hail！
RECITJUDGE
For these kind words； accept my thanks； I pray。
A Breach of Promise we've to try to…day。
But firstly； if the time you'll not begrudge；
I'll tell you how I came to be a Judge。
ALL。 He'll tell us how he came to be a Judge！
JUDGE。 I'll tell you how。。。
ALL。 He'll tell us how。。。
JUDGE。 I'll tell you how。。。
ALL。 He'll tell us how。。。
JUDGE Let me speak。。。！
ALL。 Let him speak！
JUDGE。 Let me speak！
ALL。 （in a whisper）。 Let him speak！
He'll tell us how he came to be a Judge！
USHER。 Silence in Court！ Silence in Court！
SONGJUDGE
When I； good friends； was called to the bar；
I'd an appetite fresh and hearty。
But I was； as many young barristers are；
An impecunious party。
I'd a swallow…tail coat of a beautiful blue
And a brief which I bought of a booby
A couple of shirts； and a collar or two；
And a ring that looked like a ruby！
CHORUS。 A couple of shirts； etc。
JUDGE。 At Westminster Hall I danced a dance；
Like a semi…despondent fury；
For I thought I never should hit on a chance
Of addressing a British Jury
But I soon got tired of third…class journeys；
And dinners of bread and water；
So I fell in love with a rich attorney's
Elderly； ugly daughter。
CHORUS。 So he fell in love； etc。
JUDGE。 The rich attorney； he jumped with joy；
And replied to my fond professions：
〃You shall reap the reward of your pluck； my boy；
At the Bailey and Middlesex sessions。
You'll soon get used to her looks；〃 said he；
〃And a very nice girl you will find her！
She may very well pass for forty…three
In the dusk； with a light behind her！〃
CHORUS。 She may very well； etc。
JUDGE。 The rich attorney was good as his word；
The briefs came trooping gaily；
And every day my voice was heard
At the Sessions or Ancient Bailey。
All thieves who could my fees afford
Relied on my orations。
And many a burglar I've restored
To his friends and his relations。
CHORUS。 And many a burglar； etc。
JUDGE。 At length I became as rich as the Gurneys
An incubus then I thought her；
So I threw over that rich attorney's
Elderly； ugly daughter。
The rich attorney my character high
Tried vainly to disparage…
And now； if you please； I'm ready to try
This Breach of Promise of Marriage！
CHORUS。 And now if you please； etc。
JUDGE。 For now I'm a Judge！
ALL。 And a good Judge； too！
JUDGE。 For now I'm a Judge！
ALL。 And a good Judge； too！
JUDGE。 Though all my law be fudge；
Yet I'll never； never budge；
But I'll live and die a Judge！
ALL。 And a good Judge； too！
JUDGE （pianissimo）。 It was managed by a job
ALL。 And a good job； too！
JUDGE。 It was managed by a job！
ALL。 And a good job too！
JUDGE。 It is patent to the mob；
That my being made a nob
Was effected by a job。
ALL。 And a good job too！
＇Enter Counsel for Plaintiff。 He takes his place in front row of
Counsel's seats
RECIT COUNSEL
Swear thou the jury！
USHER。 Kneel； Jurymen； oh； kneel！
＇All the Jury kneel in the Jury…box； and so are hidden from
audience。
USHER。 Oh； will you swear by yonder skies；
Whatever question may arise；
'Twixt rich and poor； 'twixt low and high；
That you will well and truly try？
JURY （raising their hands； which alone are visible）
To all of this we make reply
By the dull slate of yonder sky：
That we will well and truly try。
We'll try。
（All rise with the last note）
RECIT COUNSEL
Where is the Plaintiff？
Let her now be brought。
RECIT USHER
Oh； Angelina！ Come thou into Court！
Angelina！ Angelina！
Enter the Bridesmaids
CHORUS OF BRIDESMAIDS
Comes the broken flower
Comes the cheated maid
Though the tempest lower；
Rain and cloud will fade
Take； oh maid； these posies：
Though thy beauty rare
Shame the blushing roses；
They are passing fair！
Wear the flowers 'til they fade；
Happy be thy life； oh maid！
＇The Judge； having taken a great fancy to First Bridesmaid； sends
her a note by Usher； which she reads； kisses rapturously；
and places in her bosom。
Enter Plaintiff
SOLO PLAINTIFF
O'er the season vernal；
Time may cast a shade；
Sunshine； if eternal；
Makes the roses fade！
Time may do his duty；
Let the thief alone
Winter hath a beauty。
That is all his own。
Fairest days are sun and shade：
I am no unhappy maid！
＇The Judge having by this time transferred his admiration