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Mytilene？ Are there no grapes this year？
THES。 Plenty of grapes。 More than usual。
THES。 ＇to the gods＇ You observe； there is no deception。 There are
more than usual。
MER。 There are plenty of grapes； only they are full of ginger
beer。
THREE GODS。 Oh； come I say ＇rising they are put down by Thespis。＇
THES。 Eh？ what ＇much alarmed＇ Bacchus。
TIPS。 ＇as Bacchus＇ Here。
THES。 There seems to be something unusual with the grapes of
Mytilene。 They only grow ginger beer。
TIPS。 And a very good thing too。
THES。 It's very nice in its way but it is not what one looks for
from grapes。
TIPS。 Beloved master； a week before we came up here； you insisted
on my taking the pledge。 By so doing you rescued me from my
otherwise inevitable misery。 I cannot express my thanks。 Embrace
me。 ＇attempts to embrace him。＇
THES。 Get out； don't be a fool。 Look here； you know you're the
god of wine。
TIPS。 I am。
THES。 ＇very angry＇ Well； do you consider it consistent with your
duty as the god of wine to make the grapes yield nothing but
ginger beer？
TIPS。 Do you consider it consistent with my duty as a total
abstainer to grow anything stronger than ginger beer？
THES。 But your duty as the god of wine
TIPS。 In every respect in which my duty as the god of wine can be
discharged consistently with my duty as a total abstainer； I will
discharge it。 But when the functions clash； everything must give
way to the pledge。 My preserver。 ＇Attempts to embrace him＇
THES。 Don't be a confounded fool。 This can be arranged。 We can't
give over the wine this year； but at least we can improve the
ginger beer。 Let all the ginger beer be extracted from it
immediately。
THREE GODS。 We can't stand this；
We can't stand this。
It's much too strong。
We can't stand this。
It would be wrong。
Extremely wrong。
If we stood this。
If we stand this
If we stand this
We can't stand this。
DAPH； SPAR； NICE。 Great Jove； this interference。
Is more than we can stand；
Of them make a clearance；
With your majestic hand。
JOVE。 This cool audacity； it beats us hollow。
I'm Jupiter。
MARS。 I'm Mars。
AP。 I'm Apollo。
＇Enter Diana and all the other gods and goddesses。
ALL。 ＇kneeling with their foreheads on the ground＇
Jupiter； Mars； and Apollo
Have quitted the dwellings of men；
The other gods quickly will follow。
And what will become of us then。
Oh pardon us； Jove and Apollo；
Pardon us； Jupiter； Mars：
Oh see us in misery wallow。
Cursing our terrible stars。
＇enter other gods。＇
ALL THESPIANS： Let us remain； we beg of you pleadingly。
THREE GODS： Let them remain； they beg of us pleadingly。
THES。 Life on Olympus suits us exceedingly。
GODS。 Life on Olympus suits them exceedingly。
THES。 Let us remain； we pray in humility。
GODS。 Let 'em remain； they pray in humility。
THES。 If we have shown some little ability。
GODS。 If they have shown some little ability。
Let us remain； etc。。。
JUP。 Enough； your reign is ended。
Upon this sacred hill。
Let him be apprehended
And learn out awful will。
Away to earth； contemptible comedians；
And hear our curse； before we set you free'
You shall be all be eminent tragedians；
Whom no one ever goes to see。
ALL。 We go to earth； contemptible tragedians；
We hear his curse； before he sets us free；
We shall all be eminent tragedians；
Whom no one ever； ever goes to see。
SILL； SPAR； THES。 Whom no one
Ever goes to see。
＇The thespians are driven away by the gods； who group themselves
in attitudes of triumph。＇
THES。 Now； here you see the arrant folly
Of doing your best to make things jolly。
I've ruled the world like a chap in his senses；
Observe the terrible consequences。
Great Jupiter； whom nothing pleases；
Splutters and swears； and kicks up breezes；
And sends us home in a mood avengin'
In double quick time； like a railroad engine。
And this he does without compunction；
Because I have discharged with unction
A highly complicated function
Complying with his own injunction；
Fol； lol； lay
CHO。 All this he does。。。。etc。
＇The gods drive the thespians away。 The thespians prepare to
descent the mountain as the curtain falls。
CURTAIN
TRIAL BY JURY
Libretto by W。 S。 Gilbert
Music by Sir Arthur Sullivan
DRAMATIS PERSONAE
THE LEARNED JUDGE
THE PLAINTIFF
THE DEFENDANT
COUNSEL FOR THE PLAINTIFF
USHER
FOREMAN OF THE JURY
ASSOCIATE
FIRST BRIDESMAID
First produced at the Royalty Theatre； London； March 25； 1875
SCENE … A Court of Justice； Barristers； Attorney； and Jurymen
discovered。
CHORUS
Hark； the hour of ten is sounding：
Hearts with anxious fears are bounding；
Hall of Justice； crowds surrounding；
Breathing hope and fear
For to…day in this arena；
Summoned by a stern subpoena；
Edwin； sued by Angelina；
Shortly will appear。
Enter Usher
SOLO … USHER
Now； Jurymen； hear my advice
All kinds of vulgar prejudice
I pray you set aside：
With stern； judicial frame of mind
From bias free of every kind；
This trial must be tried。
CHORUS
From bias free of every kind；
This trial must be tried。
＇During Chorus； Usher sings fortissimo； 〃Silence in Court！〃＇
USHER Oh； listen to the plaintiff's case：
Observe the features of her face
The broken…hearted bride。
Condole with her distress of mind：
From bias free of every kind；
This trial must be tried！
CHORUS From bias free； etc。
USHER And when； amid the plaintiff's shrieks；
The ruffianly defendant speaks
Upon the other side；
What he may say you needn't mind…
From bias free of every kind；
This trial must be tried！
CHORUS From bias free； etc。
Enter Defendant
RECIT DEFENDANT
Is this the court of the Exchequer？
ALL。 It is！
DEFENDANT （aside） Be firm； be firm； my pecker；
Your evil star's in the ascendant！
ALL。 Who are you？
DEFENDANT。 I'm the Defendant。
CHORUS OF JURYMEN （shaking their fists）
Monster； dread our damages。
We're the jury！
Dread our fury！
DEFENDANT Hear me； hear me； if you please；
These are very strange proceedings
For permit me to remark
On the merits of my pleadings；
You're at present in the dark。
＇Defendant beckons to Jurymenthey leave the box and gather around
him as they sing the following：
That's a very true remark
On the merits of his pleadings
We're at present in the dark！
Ha！ ha！ha！ ha！
SONG DEFENDANT
When first my old； old love I knew；
My bosom welled with joy；
My riches at her feet I threw
I was a love…sick boy！
No terms seemed too extravagant
Upon her to employ
I used to mope； and sigh； and pant；
Jus