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perhaps it will quiet him。〃
What do you think 〃THIS〃 was？ I'm blest if it was not the STEAK！
She pushed us out； patted and hushed the dog； and was in again in a
minute。 The moon was shining on the court； and on the slaughter…
house； where there hung the white ghastly…looking carcasses of a
couple of sheep； a great gutter ran down the courta gutter of
BLOOD！ The dog was devouring his beefsteak （OUR beefsteak） in
silence； and we could see through the little window the girls
hustling about to pack up the supper…things； and presently the
shop…door being opened； old Brisket entering； staggering； angry；
and drunk。 What's more； we could see； perched on a high stool； and
nodding politely； as if to salute old Brisket； the FEATHER OF
DOBBLE'S COCKED HAT！ When Dobble saw it； he turned white； and
deadly sick； and the poor fellow； in an agony of fright； sunk
shivering down upon one of the butcher's cutting…blocks； which was
in the yard。
We saw old Brisket look steadily （as steadily as he could） at the
confounded； impudent； pert； waggling feather； and then an idea
began to dawn upon his mind； that there was a head to the hat； and
then he slowly rose uphe was a man of six feet； and fifteen
stonehe rose up； put on his apron and sleeves； and TOOK DOWN HIS
CLEAVER。
〃Betsy；〃 says he； 〃open the yard door。〃 But the poor girls
screamed； and flung on their knees； and begged； and wept； and did
their very best to prevent him。 〃OPEN THE YARD DOOR！〃 says he；
with a thundering loud voice； and the great bull…dog； hearing it；
started up and uttered a yell which sent me flying to the other end
of the court。Dobble couldn't move； he was sitting on the block；
blubbering like a baby。
The door opened； and out Mr。 Brisket came。
〃TO HIM； JOWLER！〃 says he。 〃KEEP HIM； JOWLER！〃and the horrid dog
flew at me； and I flew back into the corner； and drew my sword；
determining to sell my life dearly。
〃That's it；〃 says Brisket。 〃Keep him there；good dog；good dog！
And now； sir；〃 says he； turning round to Dobble； 〃is this your
hat？〃
〃Yes；〃 says Dobble； fit to choke with fright。
〃Well； then；〃 says Brisket； 〃it's my（hic）my painful duty to
（hic）to tell you； that as I've got your hat； I must have your
head；it's painful； but it must be done。 You'd better（hic）
settle yourself comcomfumarably against that（hic）that block；
and I'll chop it off before you can say Jack（hic）no； I mean
Jack Robinson。〃
Dobble went down on his knees and shrieked out； 〃I'm an only son；
Mr。 Brisket！ I'll marry her； sir； I will； upon my honor； sir。
Consider my mother； sir； consider my mother。〃
〃That's it； sir；〃 says Brisket that's a good（hic）a good boy；
just put your head down quietlyand I'll have it offyes； offas
if you were Louis the Sixthe Sixtixthe Siktickleteenth。I'll
chop the other CHAP AFTERWARDS。〃
When I heard this； I made a sudden bound back； and gave such a cry
as any man might who was in such a way。 The ferocious Jowler；
thinking I was going to escape； flew at my throat； screaming
furious； I flung out my arms in a kind of desperation；and； to my
wonder； down fell the dog； dead； and run through the body！
。 。 。 。 。 。
At this moment a posse of people rushed in upon old Brisket；one
of his daughters had had the sense to summon them；and Dobble's
head was saved。 And when they saw the dog lying dead at my feet；
my ghastly look； my bloody sword； they gave me no small credit for
my bravery。 〃A terrible fellow that Stubbs；〃 said they； and so the
mess said； the next day。
I didn't tell them that the dog had committed SUICIDEwhy should
I？ And I didn't say a word about Dobble's cowardice。 I said he
was a brave fellow； and fought like a tiger； and this prevented HIM
from telling tales。 I had the dogskin made into a pair of pistol…
holsters； and looked so fierce； and got such a name for courage in
our regiment； that when we had to meet the regulars； Bob Stubbs was
always the man put forward to support the honor of the corps。 The
women； you know； adore courage； and such was my reputation at this
time； that I might have had my pick out of half a dozen； with
three； four； or five thousand pounds apiece； who were dying for
love of me and my red coat。 But I wasn't such a fool。 I had been
twice on the point of marriage； and twice disappointed； and I vowed
by all the Saints to have a wife； and a rich one。 Depend upon
this； as an infallible maxim to guide you through life： IT'S AS
EASY TO GET A RICH WIFE AS A POOR ONE；the same bait that will
hook a fly will hook a salmon。
JULY。SUMMARY PROCEEDINGS。
Dobble's reputation for courage was not increased by the butcher's…
dog adventure； but mine stood very high： little Stubbs was voted
the boldest chap of all the bold North Bungays。 And though I must
confess； what was proved by subsequent circumstances； that nature
has NOT endowed me with a large； or even； I may say； an average
share of bravery； yet a man is very willing to flatter himself to
the contrary； and； after a little time； I got to believe that my
killing the dog was an action of undaunted courage； and that I was
as gallant as any of the one hundred thousand heroes of our army。
I always had a military tasteit's only the brutal part of the
profession； the horrid fighting and blood； that I don't like。
I suppose the regiment was not very brave itselfbeing only
militia； but certain it was； that Stubbs was considered a most
terrible fellow； and I swore so much； and looked so fierce； that
you would have fancied I had made half a hundred campaigns。 I was
second in several duels； the umpire in all disputes； and such a
crack…shot myself； that fellows were shy of insulting me。 As for
Dobble； I took him under my protection； and he became so attached
to me； that we ate； drank； and rode together every day； his father
didn't care for money； so long as his son was in good companyand
what so good as that of the celebrated Stubbs？ Heigho！ I WAS good
company in those days； and a brave fellow too； as I should have
remained； but forwhat I shall tell the public immediately。
It happened； in the fatal year ninety…six； that the brave North
Bungays were quartered at Portsmouth； a maritime place； which I
need not describe； and which I wish I had never seen。 I might have
been a General now； or； at least； a rich man。
The red…coats carried everything before them in those days； and I；
such a crack character as I was in my regiment； was very well
received by the townspeople： many dinners I had； many tea…parties；
many lovely young ladies did I lead down the pleasant country…
dances。
Well； although I had had the two former rebuffs in love which I
have described； my heart was still young； and the fact was； knowing
that a girl with a fortune was my only chance； I made love here as
furiously as ever。 I shan't describe the lovely creatures on whom
I fixed； whilst at Portsmouth。 I tried more thanseveraland it
is a singular fact； which I never have been able to account for；
that； successful as I was with ladies of maturer age； by the young
ones I was refused regular。
But 〃faint heart never won fair lady；〃 and so I went on； and on；
until I had got a Miss Clopper； a tolerable rich navy…contractor's
daughter； into such a way； that I really don't think she could have
refused me。 Her brother； Captain Clopper； was in a line regiment；
and helped me as much as ever he could： he swore I was such a brave
fellow。
As I had received a number of attentions from Clopper； I determined
to invite him to dinner； which I could do without any sacrifice of
my principle upon this point： for the fact is； Dobble lived at an
inn； and as he sent all his bills to his father； I made no scruple
to use his table。 We dined in the coffee…room； Dobble bringing HIS
friend； and so we made a party CARRY； as the French say。 Some
naval officers were o