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The Little Man
by John Galsworthy
CHARACTERS
THE LITTLE MAN。
THE AMERICAN。
THE ENGLISHMAN。
THE ENGLISHWOMAN。
THE GERMAN。
THE DUTCH BOY。
THE MOTHER。
THE BABY。
THE WAITER。
THE STATION OFFICIAL。
THE POLICEMAN。
THE PORTER。
SCENE I
Afternoon； on the departure platform of an Austrian railway
station。 At several little tables outside the buffet persons
are taking refreshment； served by a pale young waiter。 On a
seat against the wall of the buffet a woman of lowly station is
sitting beside two large bundles； on one of which she has placed
her baby； swathed in a black shawl。
WAITER。 ＇Approaching a table whereat sit an English traveller and
his wife＇ Two coffee？
ENGLISHMAN。 ＇Paying＇ Thanks。 ＇To his wife； in an Oxford voice＇
Sugar？
ENGLISHWOMAN。 ＇In a Cambridge voice＇ One。
AMERICAN TRAVELLER。 ＇With field…glasses and a pocket camera from
another table＇ Waiter； I'd like to have you get my eggs。 I've been
sitting here quite a while。
WAITER。 Yes； sare。
GERMAN TRAVELLER。 'Kellner； bezahlen'！ ＇His voice is； like his
moustache； stiff and brushed up at the ends。 His figure also is
stiff and his hair a little grey； clearly once； if not now； a
colonel。＇
WAITER。 'Komm' gleich'！
＇The baby on the bundle wails。 The mother takes it up to soothe
it。 A young； red…cheecked Dutchman at the fourth table stops
eating and laughs。＇
AMERICAN。 My eggs！ Get a wiggle on you！
WAITER。 Yes； sare。 ＇He rapidly recedes。＇
＇A LITTLE MAN in a soft hat is seen to the right of tables。 He
stands a moment looking after the hurrying waiter； then seats
himself at the fifth table。＇
ENGLISHMAN。 ＇Looking at his watch＇ Ten minutes more。
ENGLISHWOMAN。 Bother！
AMERICAN。 ＇Addressing them＇ 'Pears as if they'd a prejudice against
eggs here； anyway。
＇The ENGLISH look at him； but do not speak。 ＇
GERMAN。 ＇In creditable English＇ In these places man can get
nothing。
＇The WAITER comes flying back with a compote for the DUTCH
YOUTH； who pays。＇
GERMAN。 'Kellner； bezahlen'！
WAITER。 'Eine Krone sechzig'。
＇The GERMAN pays。＇
AMERICAN。 ＇Rising； and taking out his watchblandly＇ See here。 If
I don't get my eggs before this watch ticks twenty； there'll be
another waiter in heaven。
WAITER。 ＇Flying＇ 'Komm' gleich'！
AMERICAN。 ＇Seeking sympathy＇ I'm gettin' kind of mad！
＇The ENGLISHMAN halves his newspaper and hands the advertisement
half to his wife。 The BABY wails。 The MOTHER rocks it。＇
＇The DUTCH YOUTH stops eating and laughs。 The GERMAN lights a
cigarette。 The LITTLE MAN sits motionless； nursing his hat。
The WAITER comes flying back with the eggs and places them
before the AMERICAN。＇
AMERICAN。 ＇Putting away his watch＇ Good！ I don't like trouble。
How much？
＇He pays and eats。 The WAITER stands a moment at the edge of
the platform and passes his hand across his brow。 The LITTLE
MAN eyes him and speaks gently。＇
LITTLE MAN。 Herr Ober！
＇The WAITER turns。＇
Might I have a glass of beer？
WAITER。 Yes； sare。
LITTLE MAN。 Thank you very much。
＇The WAITER goes。＇
AMERICAN。 ＇Pausing in the deglutition of his eggsaffably＇ Pardon
me； sir； I'd like to have you tell me why you called that little bit
of a feller 〃Herr Ober。〃 Reckon you would know what that means？
Mr。 Head Waiter。
LITTLE MAN。 Yes； yes。
AMERICAN。 I smile。
LITTLE MAN。 Oughtn't I to call him that？
GERMAN。 ＇Abruptly＇ 'NeinKellner'。
AMERICAN。 Why； yes！ Just 〃waiter。〃
＇The ENGLISHWOMAN looks round her paper for a second。 The DUTCH
YOUTH stops eating and laughs。 The LITTLE MAN gazes from face
to face and nurses his hat。＇
LITTLE MAN。 I didn't want to hurt his feelings。
GERMAN。 Gott！
AMERICAN。 In my country we're very democraticbut that's quite a
proposition。
ENGLISHMAN。 ＇Handling coffee…pot； to his wife＇ More？
ENGLISHWOMAN。 No； thanks。
GERMAN。 ＇Abruptly＇ These fellowsif you treat them in this manner；
at once they take liberties。 You see； you will not get your beer。
＇As he speaks the WAITER returns； bringing the LITTLE MAN'S
beer； then retires。＇
AMERICAN。 That 'pears to be one up to democracy。 ＇To the LITTLE
MAN＇ I judge you go in for brotherhood？
LITTLE MAN。 ＇Startled＇ Oh； no！
AMERICAN。 I take considerable stock in Leo Tolstoi myself。 Grand
mangrand…souled apparatus。 But I guess you've got to pinch those
waiters some to make 'em skip。 ＇To the ENGLISH； who have carelessly
looked his way for a moment＇ You'll appreciate that； the way he
acted about my eggs。
＇The ENGLISH make faint motions with their chins and avert their
eyes。＇
＇To the WAITER； who is standing at the door of the buffet＇
Waiter！ Flash of beerjump； now！
WAITER。 'Komm' gleich'！
GERMAN。 'Cigarren'！
WAITER。 'Schon'！
＇He disappears。＇
AMERICAN。 ＇Affablyto the LITTLE MAN＇ Now； if I don't get that
flash of beer quicker'n you got yours； I shall admire。
GERMAN。 ＇Abruptly＇ Tolstoi is nothing 'nichts'！ No good！ Ha？
AMERICAN。 ＇Relishing the approach of argument＇ Well； that is a
matter of temperament。 Now； I'm all for equality。 See that poor
woman therevery humble womanthere she sits among us with her
baby。 Perhaps you'd like to locate her somewhere else？
GERMAN。 ＇Shrugging＇。 Tolstoi is 'sentimentalisch'。 Nietzsche is
the true philosopher； the only one。
AMERICAN。 Well； that's quite in the prospectusvery stimulating
partyold Nietchvirgin mind。 But give me Leo！ ＇He turns to the
red…cheeked YOUTH＇ What do you opine； sir？ I guess by your labels
you'll be Dutch。 Do they read Tolstoi in your country？
＇The DUTCH YOUTH laughs。＇
AMERICAN。 That is a very luminous answer。
GERMAN。 Tolstoi is nothing。 Man should himself express。 He must
pushhe must be strong。
AMERICAN。 That is so。 In America we believe in virility； we like a
man to expand。 But we believe in brotherhood too。 We draw the line
at niggers； but we aspire。 Social barriers and distinctions we've
not much use for。
ENGLISHMAN。 Do you feel a draught？
ENGLISHWOMAN。 ＇With a shiver of her shoulder toward the AMERICAN＇ I
dorather。
GERMAN。 Wait！ You are a young people。
AMERICAN。 That is so； there are no flies on us。 ＇To the LITTLE MAN；
who has been gazing eagerly from face to face＇ Say！ I'd like to
have you give us your sentiments in relation to the duty of man。
＇The LITTLE MAN； fidgets； and is about to opens his mouth。＇
AMERICAN。 For exampleis it your opinion that we should kill off
the weak and diseased； and all that can't jump around？
GERMAN。 ＇Nodding＇ 'Ja； ja'！ That is coming。
LITTLE MAN。 ＇Looking from face to face＇ They might be me。
＇The DUTCH YOUTH laughs。＇
AMERICAN。 ＇Reproving him with a look＇ That's true humility。
'Tisn't grammar。 Now； here's a proposition that brings it nearer the
bone： Would you step out of your way to help them when it was liable
to bring you trouble？
GERMAN。 'Nein； nein'！ That is stupid。
LITTLE MAN。 ＇Eager but wistful＇ I'm afraid not。 Of course one
wants toThere was St Francis d'Assisi and St Julien L'Hospitalier；
and
AMERICAN。 Very lofty dispositions。 Guess they died of them。 ＇He
rises＇ Shake hands； sirmy name is＇He hands a card＇ I am an
ice…machine maker。 ＇He shakes the LITTLE MAN's hand） I like your
sentimentsI feel kind of brotherly。 ＇Catching sight of the WAITER
appearing in the doorway＇ Waiter； where to h…ll is that flash of
beer？
GERMAN。 Cigarren！
WAITER