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a case on all fours with that Prague statue。 Possibly； the
authorities hereabout have had made some life…sized models of that
village； and have stuck them about the Forest to see where the
thing would look best。 Anyhow； which way do we go now？〃
〃I don't know；〃 said Harris； 〃and I don't care。 I have done my
best； you've done nothing but grumble； and confuse me。〃
〃I may have been critical；〃 admitted George 〃but look at the thing
from my point of view。 One of you says he's got an instinct； and
leads me to a wasps' nest in the middle of a wood。〃
〃I can't help wasps building in a wood；〃 I replied。
〃I don't say you can；〃 answered George。 〃I am not arguing； I am
merely stating incontrovertible facts。 The other one； who leads me
up and down hill for hours on scientific principles； doesn't know
the north from the south； and is never quite sure whether he's
turned round or whether he hasn't。 Personally； I profess to no
instincts beyond the ordinary； nor am I a scientist。 But two
fields off I can see a man。 I am going to offer him the worth of
the hay he is cutting； which I estimate at one mark fifty pfennig；
to leave his work； and lead me to within sight of Todtmoos。 If you
two fellows like to follow； you can。 If not； you can start another
system and work it out by yourselves。〃
George's plan lacked both originality and aplomb； but at the moment
it appealed to us。 Fortunately； we had worked round to a very
short distance away from the spot where we had originally gone
wrong； with the result that； aided by the gentleman of the scythe；
we recovered the road； and reached Todtmoos four hours later than
we had calculated to reach it； with an appetite that took forty…
five minutes' steady work in silence to abate。
From Todtmoos we had intended to walk down to the Rhine； but having
regard to our extra exertions of the morning； we decided to
promenade in a carriage； as the French would say： and for this
purpose hired a picturesque…looking vehicle； drawn by a horse that
I should have called barrel…bodied but for contrast with his
driver； in comparison with whom he was angular。 In Germany every
vehicle is arranged for a pair of horses； but drawn generally by
one。 This gives to the equipage a lop…sided appearance； according
to our notions； but it is held here to indicate style。 The idea to
be conveyed is that you usually drive a pair of horses； but that
for the moment you have mislaid the other one。 The German driver
is not what we should call a first…class whip。 He is at his best
when he is asleep。 Then； at all events； he is harmless； and the
horse being； generally speaking； intelligent and experienced；
progress under these conditions is comparatively safe。 If in
Germany they could only train the horse to collect the money at the
end of the journey； there would be no need for a coachman at all。
This would be a distinct relief to the passenger； for when the
German coachman is awake and not cracking his whip he is generally
occupied in getting himself into trouble or out of it。 He is
better at the former。 Once I recollect driving down a steep Black
Forest hill with a couple of ladies。 It was one of those roads
winding corkscrew…wise down the slope。 The hill rose at an angle
of seventy…five on the off…side； and fell away at an angle of
seventy…five on the near…side。 We were proceeding very
comfortably； the driver； we were happy to notice； with his eyes
shut； when suddenly something； a bad dream or indigestion； awoke
him。 He seized the reins； and； by an adroit movement； pulled the
near…side horse over the edge； where it clung； half supported by
the traces。 Our driver did not appear in the least annoyed or
surprised； both horses； I also； noticed； seemed equally used to the
situation。 We got out； and he got down。 He took from under the
seat a huge clasp…knife； evidently kept there for the purpose； and
deftly cut the traces。 The horse； thus released； rolled over and
over until he struck the road again some fifty feet below。 There
he regained his feet and stood waiting for us。 We re…entered the
carriage and descended with the single horse until we came to him。
There； with the help of some bits of string； our driver harnessed
him again； and we continued on our way。 What impressed me was the
evident accustomedness of both driver and horses to this method of
working down a hill。
Evidently to them it appeared a short and convenient cut。 I should
not have been surprised had the man suggested our strapping
ourselves in； and then rolling over and over； carriage and all； to
the bottom。
Another peculiarity of the German coachman is that he never
attempts to pull in or to pull up。 He regulates his rate of speed；
not by the pace of the horse； but by manipulation of the brake。
For eight miles an hour he puts it on slightly； so that it only
scrapes the wheel； producing a continuous sound as of the
sharpening of a saw； for four miles an hour he screws it down
harder； and you travel to an accompaniment of groans and shrieks；
suggestive of a symphony of dying pigs。 When he desires to come to
a full stop； he puts it on to its full。 If his brake be a good
one； he calculates he can stop his carriage； unless the horse be an
extra powerful animal； in less than twice its own length。 Neither
the German driver nor the German horse knows； apparently； that you
can stop a carriage by any other method。 The German horse
continues to pull with his full strength until he finds it
impossible to move the vehicle another inch； then he rests。 Horses
of other countries are quite willing to stop when the idea is
suggested to them。 I have known horses content to go even quite
slowly。 But your German horse； seemingly； is built for one
particular speed； and is unable to depart from it。 I am stating
nothing but the literal； unadorned truth； when I say I have seen a
German coachman； with the reins lying loose over the splash…board；
working his brake with both hands； in terror lest he would not be
in time to avoid a collision。
At Waldshut； one of those little sixteenth…century towns through
which the Rhine flows during its earlier course； we came across
that exceedingly common object of the Continent： the travelling
Briton grieved and surprised at the unacquaintance of the foreigner
with the subtleties of the English language。 When we entered the
station he was； in very fair English； though with a slight
Somersetshire accent； explaining to a porter for the tenth time； as
he informed us； the simple fact that though he himself had a ticket
for Donaueschingen； and wanted to go to Donaueschingen； to see the
source of the Danube； which is not there； though they tell you it
is； he wished his bicycle to be sent on to Engen and his bag to
Constance； there to await his arrival。 He was hot and angry with
the effort of the thing。 The porter was a young man in years； but
at the moment looked old and miserable。 I offered my services。 I
wish now I had notthough not so fervently； I expect； as he； the
speechless one； came subsequently to wish this。 All three routes；
so the porter explained to us； were complicated； necessitating
changing and re…changing。 There was not much time for calm
elucidation； as our own train was starting in a few minutes。 The
man himself was volublealways a mistake when anything entangled
has to be made clear； while the porter was only too eager to get
the job done with and so breathe again。 It dawned upon me ten
minutes later； when thinking the matter over in the train； that
though I had agreed with the porter that it would be best for the
bicycle to go by way of Immendingen； and had agreed to his booking
it to Immendingen； I had neglected to give instructions for its
departure from Immendingen。 Were I of a despondent temperament I
should be worrying myself at the present moment with the reflection
that in all probability that bicycle is still at Immendingen to
this day。 But I regard it as good philosophy to endeavour always
to see the brighter side of things。 Possibly the porter corrected
my omission on his own account； or some simple miracle may have
happened to restore that bicycle to its owner