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my omission on his own account； or some simple miracle may have
happened to restore that bicycle to its owner some time before the
end of his tour。 The bag we sent to Radolfzell： but here I
console myself with the recollection that it was labelled
Constance； and no doubt after a while the railway authorities；
finding it unclaimed at Radolfzell； forwarded it on to Constance。
But all this is apart from the moral I wished to draw from the
incident。 The true inwardness of the situation lay in the
indignation of this Britisher at finding a German railway porter
unable to comprehend English。 The moment we spoke to him he
expressed this indignation in no measured terms。
〃Thank you very much indeed；〃 he said； 〃it's simple enough。 I want
to go to Donaueschingen myself by train； from Donaueschingen I am
going to walk to Geisengen； from Geisengen I am going to take the
train to Engen； and from Engen I am going to bicycle to Constance。
But I don't want to take my bag with me； I want to find it at
Constance when I get there。 I have been trying to explain the
thing to this fool for the last ten minutes； but I can't get it
into him。〃
〃It is very disgraceful；〃 I agreed。 〃Some of these German workmen
know hardly any other language than their own。〃
〃I have gone over it with him；〃 continued the man； 〃on the time
table； and explained it by pantomime。 Even then I could not knock
it into him。〃
〃I can hardly believe you；〃 I again remarked； 〃you would think the
thing explained itself。〃
Harris was angry with the man； he wished to reprove him for his
folly in journeying through the outlying portions of a foreign
clime； and seeking in such to accomplish complicated railway tricks
without knowing a word of the language of the country。 But I
checked the impulsiveness of Harris； and pointed out to him the
great and good work at which the man was unconsciously assisting。
Shakespeare and Milton may have done their little best to spread
acquaintance with the English tongue among the less favoured
inhabitants of Europe。 Newton and Darwin may have rendered their
language a necessity among educated and thoughtful foreigners。
Dickens and Ouida （for your folk who imagine that the literary
world is bounded by the prejudices of New Grub Street； would be
surprised and grieved at the position occupied abroad by this at…
home…sneered…at lady） may have helped still further to popularise
it。 But the man who has spread the knowledge of English from Cape
St。 Vincent to the Ural Mountains is the Englishman who； unable or
unwilling to learn a single word of any language but his own；
travels purse in hand into every corner of the Continent。 One may
be shocked at his ignorance； annoyed at his stupidity； angry at his
presumption。 But the practical fact remains； he it is that is
anglicising Europe。 For him the Swiss peasant tramps through the
snow on winter evenings to attend the English class open in every
village。 For him the coachman and the guard； the chambermaid and
the laundress； pore over their English grammars and colloquial
phrase books。 For him the foreign shopkeeper and merchant send
their sons and daughters in their thousands to study in every
English town。 For him it is that every foreign hotel… and
restaurant…keeper adds to his advertisement： 〃Only those with fair
knowledge of English need apply。〃
Did the English…speaking races make it their rule to speak anything
else than English； the marvellous progress of the English tongue
throughout the world would stop。 The English…speaking man stands
amid the strangers and jingles his gold。
〃Here；〃 cries； 〃is payment for all such as can speak English。〃
He it is who is the great educator。 Theoretically we may scold
him； practically we should take our hats off to him。 He is the
missionary of the English tongue。
CHAPTER XII
We are grieved at the earthly instincts of the GermanA superb
view； but no restaurantContinental opinion of the Englishman
That he does not know enough to come in out of the rainThere
comes a weary traveller with a brickThe hurting of the dogAn
undesirable family residenceA fruitful regionA merry old soul
comes up the hillGeorge； alarmed at the lateness of the hour；
hastens down the other sideHarris follows him； to show him the
wayI hate being alone； and follow HarrisPronunciation specially
designed for use of foreigners。
A thing that vexes much the high…class Anglo…Saxon soul is the
earthly instinct prompting the German to fix a restaurant at the
goal of every excursion。 On mountain summit； in fairy glen； on
lonely pass； by waterfall or winding stream； stands ever the busy
Wirtschaft。 How can one rhapsodise over a view when surrounded by
beer…stained tables？ How lose one's self in historical reverie
amid the odour of roast veal and spinach？
One day； on elevating thoughts intent； we climbed through tangled
woods。
〃And at the top；〃 said Harris； bitterly； as we paused to breathe a
space and pull our belts a hole tighter； 〃there will be a gaudy
restaurant； where people will be guzzling beefsteaks and plum tarts
and drinking white wine。〃
〃Do you think so？〃 said George。
〃Sure to be；〃 answered Harris； 〃you know their way。 Not one grove
will they consent to dedicate to solitude and contemplation； not
one height will they leave to the lover of nature unpolluted by the
gross and the material。〃
〃I calculate；〃 I remarked； 〃that we shall be there a little before
one o'clock； provided we don't dawdle。〃
〃The 'mittagstisch' will be just ready；〃 groaned Harris； 〃with
possibly some of those little blue trout they catch about here。 In
Germany one never seems able to get away from food and drink。 It
is maddening！〃
We pushed on； and in the beauty of the walk forgot our indignation。
My estimate proved to be correct。
At a quarter to one； said Harris； who was leading：
〃Here we are； I can see the summit。〃
〃Any sign of that restaurant？〃 said George。
〃I don't notice it；〃 replied Harris； 〃but it's there； you may be
sure； confound it！〃
Five minutes later we stood upon the top。 We looked north； south；
east and west； then we looked at one another。
〃Grand view； isn't it？〃 said Harris。
〃Magnificent；〃 I agreed。
〃Superb；〃 remarked George。
〃They have had the good sense for once；〃 said Harris； 〃to put that
restaurant out of sight。〃
〃They do seem to have hidden it；〃 said George。 〃One doesn't mind
the thing so much when it is not forced under one's nose；〃 said
Harris。
〃Of course； in its place；〃 I observed； 〃a restaurant is right
enough。〃
〃I should like to know where they have put it；〃 said George。
〃Suppose we look for it？〃 said Harris； with inspiration。
It seemed a good idea。 I felt curious myself。 We agreed to
explore in different directions； returning to the summit to report
progress。 In half an hour we stood together once again。 There was
no need for words。 The face of one and all of us announced plainly
that at last we had discovered a recess of German nature
untarnished by the sordid suggestion of food or drink。
〃I should never have believed it possible；〃 said Harris： 〃would
you？〃
〃I should say；〃 I replied； 〃that this is the only square quarter of
a mile in the entire Fatherland unprovided with one。〃
〃And we three strangers have struck it；〃 said George； 〃without an
effort。〃
〃True；〃 I observed。 〃By pure good fortune we are now enabled to
feast our finer senses undisturbed by appeal to our lower nature。
Observe the light upon those distant peaks； is it not ravishing？〃
〃Talking of nature；〃 said George； 〃which should you say was the
nearest way down？〃
〃The road to the left；〃 I replied； after consulting the guide book；
〃takes us to Sonnensteigwhere； by…the…by； I observe the 'Goldener
Adler' is well spoken ofin about two hours。 The road to the
right； though somewhat longer； commands more extensive prospects。〃
〃One prospect；〃 said Harris； 〃is very much like another prospect；
don't you think so？〃
〃Personally；〃 said George； 〃I am going by the left…hand road。〃 And
Harris and I went after him。
But we were not to get down so soon as we had anticipated。 Storms
come quickly in these region