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even two。 That will do no harm to anyone。〃
Maybe he was right。 It was his half…dozen glasses that troubled
Harris and myself。
〃We ought to do something to stop it；〃 said Harris； 〃it is becoming
serious。〃
〃It's hereditary； so he has explained to me；〃 I answered。 〃It
seems his family have always been thirsty。〃
〃There is Apollinaris water；〃 replied Harris； 〃which； I believe；
with a little lemon squeezed into it； is practically harmless。
What I am thinking about is his figure。 He will lose all his
natural elegance。〃
We talked the matter over； and； Providence aiding us； we fixed upon
a plan。 For the ornamentation of the town a new statue had just
been cast。 I forget of whom it was a statue。 I only remember that
in the essentials it was the usual sort of street statue；
representing the usual sort of gentleman； with the usual stiff
neck； riding the usual sort of horsethe horse that always walks
on its hind legs； keeping its front paws for beating time。 But in
detail it possessed individuality。 Instead of the usual sword or
baton； the man was holding； stretched out in his hand； his own
plumed hat； and the horse； instead of the usual waterfall for a
tail； possessed a somewhat attenuated appendage that somehow
appeared out of keeping with his ostentatious behaviour。 One felt
that a horse with a tail like that would not have pranced so much。
It stood in a small square not far from the further end of the
Karlsbrucke； but it stood there only temporarily。 Before deciding
finally where to fix it； the town authorities had resolved； very
sensibly； to judge by practical test where it would look best。
Accordingly； they had made three rough copies of the statuemere
wooden profiles； things that would not bear looking at closely； but
which； viewed from a little distance； produced all the effect that
was necessary。 One of these they had set up at the approach to the
Franz…Josefsbrucke； a second stood in the open space behind the
theatre； and the third in the centre of the Wenzelsplatz。
〃If George is not in the secret of this thing；〃 said Harriswe
were walking by ourselves for an hour； he having remained behind in
the hotel to write a letter to his aunt；〃if he has not observed
these statues； then by their aid we will make a better and a
thinner man of him； and that this very evening。〃
So during dinner we sounded him； judiciously； and finding him
ignorant of the matter； we took him out； and led him by side…
streets to the place where stood the real statue。 George was for
looking at it and passing on； as is his way with statues； but we
insisted on his pulling up and viewing the thing conscientiously。
We walked him round that statue four times； and showed it to him
from every possible point of view。 I think； on the whole； we
rather bored him with the thing； but our object was to impress it
upon him。 We told him the history of the man who rode upon the
horse； the name of the artist who had made the statue； how much it
weighed； how much it measured。 We worked that statue into his
system。 By the time we had done with him he knew more about that
statue； for the time being； than he knew about anything else。 We
soaked him in that statue； and only let him go at last on the
condition that he would come again with us in the morning； when we
could all see it better； and for such purpose we saw to it that he
made a note in his pocket…book of the place where the statue stood。
Then we accompanied him to his favourite beer hall； and sat beside
him； telling him anecdotes of men who； unaccustomed to German beer；
and drinking too much of it； had gone mad and developed homicidal
mania； of men who had died young through drinking German beer； of
lovers that German beer had been the means of parting for ever from
beautiful girls。
At ten o'clock we started to walk back to the hotel。 It was a
stormy…looking night； with heavy clouds drifting over a light moon。
Harris said：
〃We won't go back the same way we came； we'll walk back by the
river。 It is lovely in the moonlight。〃
Harris told a sad history； as we walked； about a man he once knew；
who is now in a home for harmless imbeciles。 He said he recalled
the story because it was on just such another night as this that he
was walking with that man the very last time he ever saw the poor
fellow。 They were strolling down the Thames Embankment； Harris
said； and the man frightened him then by persisting that he saw the
statue of the Duke of Wellington at the corner of Westminster
Bridge； when； as everybody knows； it stands in Piccadilly。
It was at this exact instant that we came in sight of the first of
these wooden copies。 It occupied the centre of a small； railed…in
square a little above us on the opposite side of the way。 George
suddenly stood still and leant against the wall of the quay。
〃What's the matter？〃 I said； 〃feeling giddy？〃
He said： 〃I do； a little。 Let's rest here a moment。〃
He stood there with his eyes glued to the thing。
He said； speaking huskily：
〃Talking of statues； what always strikes me is how very much one
statue is like another statue。〃
Harris said： 〃I cannot agree with you therepictures； if you
like。 Some pictures are very like other pictures； but with a
statue there is always something distinctive。 Take that statue we
saw early in the evening；〃 continued Harris； 〃before we went into
the concert hall。 It represented a man sitting on a horse。 In
Prague you will see other statues of men on horses； but nothing at
all like that one。〃
〃Yes they are；〃 said George； 〃they are all alike。 It's always the
same horse； and it's always the same man。 They are all exactly
alike。 It's idiotic nonsense to say they are not。〃
He appeared to be angry with Harris。
〃What makes you think so？〃 I asked。
〃What makes me think so？〃 retorted George； now turning upon me。
〃Why； look at that damned thing over there！〃
I said： 〃What damned thing？〃
〃Why； that thing；〃 said George； 〃look at it！ There is the same
horse with half a tail； standing on its hind legs； the same man
without his hat； the same〃
Harris said： 〃You are talking now about the statue we saw in the
Ringplatz。〃
〃No； I'm not；〃 replied George； 〃I'm talking about the statue over
there。〃
〃What statue？〃 said Harris。
George looked at Harris； but Harris is a man who might； with care；
have been a fair amateur actor。 His face merely expressed friendly
sorrow； mingled with alarm。 Next； George turned his gaze on me。 I
endeavoured； so far as lay with me； to copy Harris's expression；
adding to it on my own account a touch of reproof。
〃Will you have a cab？〃 I said as kindly as I could to George。
〃I'll run and get one。〃
〃What the devil do I want with a cab？〃 he answered； ungraciously。
〃Can't you fellows understand a joke？ It's like being out with a
couple of confounded old women；〃 saying which； he started off
across the bridge； leaving us to follow。
〃I am so glad that was only a joke of yours；〃 said Harris； on our
overtaking him。 〃I knew a case of softening of the brain that
began〃
〃Oh； you're a silly ass！〃 said George； cutting him short； 〃you know
everything。〃
He was really most unpleasant in his manner。
We took him round by the riverside of the theatre。 We told him it
was the shortest way； and； as a matter of fact； it was。 In the
open space behind the theatre stood the second of these wooden
apparitions。 George looked at it； and again stood still。
〃What's the matter？〃 said Harris； kindly。 〃You are not ill； are
you？〃
〃I don't believe this is the shortest way；〃 said George。
〃I assure you it is；〃 persisted Harris。
〃Well； I'm going the other；〃 said George； and he turned and went；
we； as before； following him。
Along the Ferdinand Strasse Harris and I talked about private
lunatic asylums； which； Harris said； were not well managed in
England。 He said a friend of his； a patient in a lunatic asylum …
George said； interrupting： 〃You appear to have a large number of
friends in lunatic asylums。〃
He said it in a most insulting tone； as though to imply that that
is where one would look for the majority of Harris's friends。 But
Harris did not get a