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the hungry stones and other stories-第25章

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greed to anything Jogmaya said; cut short her story; and left his wife uneasy in her mind。

Kadambini had come; but she was not at one with her friend: death was between them。 She could feel no intimacy for others so long as her existence perplexed her and consciousness remained。 Kadambini would look at Jogmaya; and brood。 She would think: 〃 She has her husband and her work; she lives in a world far away from mine。 She shares affection and duty with the people of the world; I am an empty shadow。 She is among the living; I am in eternity。〃

Jogmaya also was uneasy; but could not explain why。 Women do not love mystery; because; though uncertainty may be transmuted into poetry; into heroism; into scholarship; it cannot be turned to account in household work。 So; when a woman cannot understand a thing; she either destroys and forgets it; or she shapes it anew for her own use; if she fails to deal with it in one of these ways; she loses her temper with it。 The greater Kadambini's abstraction became; the more impatient was Jogmaya with her; wondering what trouble weighed upon her mind。

Then a new danger arose。 Kadambini was afraid of herself; yet she could not flee from herself。 Those who fear ghosts fear those who are behind them; wherever they cannot see there is fear。 But Kadambini's chief terror lay in herself; for she dreaded nothing external。 At the dead of night; when alone in her room; she screamed; in the evening; when she saw her shadow in the lamp…light; her whole body shook。 Watching her fearfulness; the rest of the house fell into a sort of terror。 The servants and Jogmaya herself began to see ghosts。

One midnight; Kadambini came out from her bedroom weeping; and wailed at Jogmaya's door: 〃Sister; sister; let me lie at your feet! Do not put me by myself!〃

Jogmaya's anger was no less than her fear。 She would have liked to drive Kadambini from the house that very second。 The good…natured Sripati; after much effort; succeeded in quieting their guest; and put her in the next room。

Next day Sripati was unexpectedly summoned to his wife's apartments。 She began to upbraid him: 〃 You; do you call yourself a man? A woman runs away from her father…in…law; and enters your house; a month passes; and you haven't hinted that she should go away; nor have I heard the slightest protest from you。 I should cake it as a favour if you would explain yourself。 You men are all alike。〃

Men; as a race; have a natural partiality for womankind in general; foe which women themselves hold them accountable。   Although Sripati was prepared to touch Jogmaya's body; and swear that his kind feeling towards the helpless but beautiful Kadambini was no whit greater than it should be; he could not prove it by his behaviour。 He thought that her father…in…law's people must have treated this forlorn widow abominably; if she could bear it no longer; and was driven to take refuge with him。 As she had neither father nor mother; how could he desert her? So saying; he let the matter drop; far he had no mind to distress Kadambini by asking her unpleasant questions。

His wife; then; tried other means of her sluggish lord; until at last he saw that for the sake of peace he must send word to Kadambini's father…in…law。  The result of a letter; he thought; might not be satisfactory; so he resolved to go to Ranihat; and act on what he learnt。

So Sripati went; and Jogmaya on her part said to Kadambini 〃Friend; it hardly seems proper for you to stop here any longer。 What will people say? 〃

Kadambini stared solemnly at Jogmaya; and said: 〃What have I to do with people?〃

Jogmaya was astounded。 Then she said sharply: 〃If you have nothing to do with people; we have。 How can we explain the detention of a woman belonging to another house?〃

Kadambini said: 〃Where is my father…in…law's house?〃

〃Confound it!〃 thought Jogmaya。 〃What will the wretched woman say next?〃

Very slowly Kadambini said: 〃What have I to do with you? Am I of the earth? You laugh; weep; love; each grips and holds his own; I merely look。 You are human; I a shadow。 I cannot understand why God has kept me in this world of yours。〃

So strange were her look and speech that Jogmaya understood something of her drift; though not all。 Unable either to dismiss her; or to ask her any more questions; she went away; oppressed with thought。

IV

It was nearly ten o'clock at night when Sripati returned from Ranihat。 The earth was drowned in torrents of rain。 It seemed that the downpour would never stop; that the night would never end。

Jogmaya asked: 〃Well?〃

〃I've lots to say; presently。〃

So saying; Sripati changed his clothes; and sat down to supper; then he lay dawn for a smoke。 His mind was perplexed。

His wife stilled her curiosity for a long time; then she came to his couch and demanded: 〃What did you hear?〃

〃That you have certainly made a mistake。〃

Jogmaya was nettled。 Women never make mistakes; or; if they do; a sensible man never mentions them; it is better to take them on his own shoulders。 Jogmaya snapped: 〃May I be permitted to hear how?〃

Sripati replied: 〃The woman you have taken into your house is not your Kadambini。〃

Hearing this; she was greatly annoyed; especially since it was her husband who said it。 〃What! I don't know my own friend? I must come to you to recognise her! You are clever; indeed!〃

Sripati explained that there was no need to quarrel about his cleverness。 He could prove what he said。 There was no doubt that Jogmaya's Kadambini was dead。

Jogmaya replied: 〃Listen! You've certainly made some huge mistake。 You've been to the wrong house; or are confused as to what you have heard。 Who told you to go yourself? Write a letter; and everything will be cleared up。〃

Sripati was hurt by his wife's lack of faith in his executive ability; he produced all sorts of proof; without result。 Midnight found them still asserting and contradicting。 Although they were both agreed now that Kadambini should be got out of the house; although Sripati believed that their guest had deceived his wife all the time by a pretended acquaintance; and Jogmaya that she was a prostitute; yet in the present discussion neither would acknowledge defeat。 By degrees their voices became so loud that they forgot that Kadambini was sleeping in the next room。

The one said: 〃We're in a nice fix! I tell you; I heard it with my own ears!〃 And the other answered angrily: 〃What do I care about that? I can see with my own eyes; surely。〃

At length Jogmaya said: 〃Very well。 Tell me when Kadambini died。〃 She thought that if she could find a discrepancy between the day of death and the date of some letter from Kadambini; she could prove that Sripati erred。

He told her the date of Kadambini's death; and they both saw that it fell on the very day before she came to their house。 Jogmaya's heart trembled; even Sripati was not unmoved。

Just then the door flew open; a damp wind swept in and blew the lamp out。 The darkness rushed after it; and filled the whole house。 Kadambini stood in the room。 It was nearly one o'clock; the rain was pelting outside。

Kadambini spoke: 〃Friend; I am your Kadambini; but I am no longer living。 I am dead。〃

Jogmaya screamed with terror; Sripati could speak。

〃But; save in being dead; I have done you no wrong。 If I have no place among the living; I have none among the dead。 Oh! whither shall I go?〃

Crying as if to wake the sleeping Creator in the dense night of rain; she asked again: 〃 Oh! whither shall I go? 〃

So saying Kadambini left her friend fainting in the dark house; and went out into the world; seeking her own place。

V

It is hard to say how Kadambini reached Ranihat。 At first she showed herself to no one; but spent the whole day in a ruined temple; starving。 When the untimely afternoon of the rains was pitch…black; and people huddled into their houses for fear of the impending storm; then Kadambini came forth。 Her heart trembled as she reached her father…in… law's house; and when; drawing a thick veil over her face; she entered; none of the doorkeepers objected; since they took her for a servant。 And the rain was pouring down; and the wind howled。

The mistress; Saradasankar's wife; was playing cards with her widowed sister。 A
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