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hearse…like panel。
I should have knocked； but Ada said perhaps we had better
turn the handle and go in。 Thus we came to Richard； poring over a
table covered with dusty bundles of papers which seemed to me
like dusty mirrors reflecting his own mind。 Wherever I looked； I
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saw the ominous words that ran in it； repeated。 Jarndyce and
Jarndyce。
He received us very affectionately； and we sat down。 “If you had
come a little earlier；” he said； “you would have found Woodcourt
here。 There never was such a good fellow as Woodcourt is。 He
finds time to look in between whiles； when anybody else with half
his work to do would be thinking about not being able to come。
And he is so cheery； so fresh； so sensible； so earnest； so—
everything that I am not； that the place brightens whenever he
comes； and darkens whenever he goes again。”
“God bless him；” I thought； “for his truth to me！”
“He is not so sanguine； Ada；” continued Richard； casting his
dejected look over the bundles of papers； “as Vholes and I are
usually； but he is only an outsider； and is not in the mysteries。 We
have gone into them； and he has not。 He can’t be expected to know
much of such a labyrinth。”
As his look wandered over the papers again； and he passed his
two hands over his head； I noticed how sunken and how large his
eyes appeared； how dry his lips were； and how his fingernails were
all bitten away。
“Is this a healthy place to live in； Richard； do you think？” said I。
“Why； my dear Minerva；” answered Richard； with his old gay
laugh； “it is neither a rural nor a cheerful place； and when the sun
shines here； you may lay a pretty heavy wager that it is shining
brightly in an open spot。 But it’s well enough for the time。 It’s near
the offices； and near Vholes。”
“Perhaps；” I hinted； “a change from both—”
“—Might do me good？” said Richard； forcing a laugh as he
finished the sentence。 “I shouldn’t wonder！ But it can only come
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in one way now—in one of two ways； I should rather say。 Either
the suit must be ended； Esther； or the suitor。 But it shall be the
suit； the suit； my dear girl！”
These latter words were addressed to Ada； who was sitting
nearest to him。 Her face being turned away from me and towards
him； I could not see it。
“We are doing very well；” pursued Richard。 “Vholes will tell
you so。 We are really spinning along。 Ask Vholes。 We are giving
them no rest。 Vholes knows all their windings and turnings； and
we are upon them everywhere。 We have astonished them already。
We shall rouse up that nest of sleepers； mark my words！”
His hopefulness had long been more painful to me than his
despondency； it was so unlike hopefulness； had something so
fierce in its determination to be it； was so hungry and eager； and
yet so conscious of being forced and unsustainable； that it had
long touched me to the heart。 But the commentary upon it now
indelibly written in his handsome face； made it far more
distressing than it used to be。 I say indelibly； for I felt persuaded
that if the fatal cause could have been for ever terminated；
according to his brightest visions； in that same hour； the traces of
the premature anxiety； self…reproach； and disappointment it had
occasioned him； would have remained upon his features to the
hour of his death。
“The sight of our dear little woman；” said Richard： Ada still
remaining silent and quiet： “is so natural to me； and her
compassionate face is so like the face of old days—”
Ah！ No； no。 I smiled and shook my head。
“—So exactly like the face of old days；” said Richard in his
cordial voice； and taking my hand with the brotherly regard which
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nothing ever changed； “that I can’t make pretences with her。 I
fluctuate a little； that’s the truth。 Sometimes I hope； my dear； and
sometimes I—don’t quite despair； but nearly。 I get；” said Richard；
relinquishing my hand gently； and walking across the room； “so
tired！”
He took a few turns up and down； and sunk upon the sofa。 “I
get；” he repeated gloomily； “so tired。 It is such weary； weary
work！”
He was leaning on his arm； saying these words in a meditative
voice； and looking at the ground； when my darling rose； put off her
bonnet； kneeled down beside him with her golden hair falling like
sunlight on his head； clasped her two arms round his neck； and
turned her face to me。 O； what a loving and devoted face I saw！
“Esther； dear；” she said very quietly； “I am not going home
again。
A light shone in upon me all at once。
“Never any more。 I am going to stay with my dear husband。 We
have been married above two months。 Go home without me； my
own Esther； I shall never go home any more！” With those words
my darling drew his head down on her breast； and held it there。
And if ever in my life I saw a love that nothing but death could
change； I saw it then before me。
“Speak to Esther； my dearest；” said Richard； breaking the
silence presently。 “Tell her how it was。”
I met her before she could come to me； and folded her in my
arms。 We neither of us spoke； but with her cheek against my own；
I wanted to hear nothing。 “My pet；” said I。 “My love。 My poor； poor
girl！” I pitied her so much。 I was very fond of Richard； but the
impulse that I had upon me was to pity her so much。
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“Esther； will you forgive me？ Will my cousin John forgive me？”
“My dear；” said I； “to doubt it for a moment； is to do him a great
wrong。 And as to me！”—why； as to me； what had I to forgive！
I dried my sobbing darling’s eyes； and sat beside her on the
sofa； and Richard sat on my other side； and while I was reminded
of that so different night when they had first taken me into their
confidence； and had gone on in their own wild happy way； they
told me between them how it was。
“All I had； was Richard’s；” Ada said； “and Richard would not
take it； Esther； and what could I do but be his wife when I loved
him dearly！”
“And you were so fully and so kindly occupied； excellent Dame
Durden；” said Richard； “that how could we speak to you at such a