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but sit in her very best gown； and be served by himself and the
young people。 As he is not illustrious for his cookery； this may be
supposed to be a matter of state rather than enjoyment on the old
girl’s part； but she keeps her state with all imaginable
cheerfulness。
On this present birthday； Mr Bagnet has accomplished the
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Bleak House 917
usual preliminaries。 He has bought two specimens of poultry
which； if there be any truth in adages； were certainly not caught
with chaff； to be prepared for the spit； he has amazed and rejoiced
the family by their unlooked…for production； he is himself directing
the roasting of the poultry； and Mrs Bagnet； with her wholesome
brown fingers itching to prevent what she sees going wrong； sits in
her gown of ceremony； an honoured guest。
Quebec and Malta lay the cloth for dinner； while Woolwich；
serving as beseems him； under his father； keeps the fowls
revolving。 To these young scullions Mrs Bagnet occasionally
imparts a wink； or a shake of the head； or a crooked face； as they
made mistakes。
“At half…after one。” Says Mr Bagnet。 “To the minute。 They’ll be
done。”
Mrs Bagnet； with anguish； beholds one of them at a stand…still
before the fire； and beginning to burn。
“You shall have a dinner； old girl；” says Mr Bagnet。 “Fit for a
queen。”
Mrs Bagnet shows her white teeth cheerfully； but to the
perception of her son betrays so much uneasiness of spirit； that he
is impelled by the dictates of affection to ask her； with his eyes；
what is the matter？—thus standing； with his eyes wide open； more
oblivious of the fowls than before； and not affording the least hope
of a return to consciousness。 Fortunately； his elder sister perceives
the cause of the agitation in Mrs Bagnet’s breast； and with an
admonitory poke recalls him。 The stopped fowls going round
again； Mrs Bagnet closes her eyes； in the intensity of her relief。
“George will look us up；” says Mr Bagnet。 “At half…after four。 To
the moment。 How many years； old girl。 Has George looked us up。
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Bleak House 918
This afternoon？”
“Ah； Lignum； Lignum； as many as make an old woman of a
young one； I begin to think。 Just about that； and no less；” returns
Mrs Bagnet； laughing and shaking her head。
“Old girl；” says Mr Bagnet。 “Never mind。 You’d be as young as
ever you was。 If you wasn’t younger。 Which you are。 As everybody
knows。”
Quebec and Malta here exclaim； with clapping of hands； that
Bluffy is sure to bring mother something； and begin to speculate
on what it will be。
“Do you know； Lignum；” says Mrs Bagnet； casting a glance on
the tablecloth； and winking “salt！” at Malta with her right eye； and
shaking the pepper away from Quebec with her head； “I begin to
think George is in the roving way again。”
“George；” returns Mr Bagnet； “will never desert。 And leave his
old comrade。 In the lurch。 Don’t be afraid of it。”
“No； Lignum。 No。 I don’t say he will。 I don’t think he will。 But if
he could get over his money…trouble of his； I believe he would be
off。”
Mr Bagnet asks why？
“Well；” returns his wife； considering。 “George seems to me to
be getting not a little impatient and restless。 I don’t say but what
he’s as free as ever。 Of course he must be free； or he wouldn’t be
George； but he smarts； and seems put out。”
“He’s extra…drilled；” says Mr Bagnet。 “By a lawyer。 Who would
put the devil out。”
“There’s something in that；” his wife assents； “but so it is；
Lignum。”
Further conversation is prevented； for the time； by the
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Bleak House 919
necessity under which Mr Bagnet finds himself of directing the
whole force of his mind to the dinner； which is a little endangered
by the dry humour of the fowls in not yielding any gravy； and also
by the made…gravy acquiring no flavour； and turning out of a
flaxen complexion。 With a similar perverseness； the potatoes
crumble off forks in the process of peeling； upheaving from their
centres in every direction； as if they were subject to earthquakes。
The legs of the fowls； too； are longer than could be desired； and
extremely scaly。 Overcoming these disadvantages to the best of his
ability； Mr Bagnet at last dishes； and they sit down at table； Mrs
Bagnet occupying the guest’s place at his right hand。
It is well for the old girl that she has but one birthday in a year；
for two such indulgences in poultry might be injurious。 Every kind
of finer tendon and ligament that it is in the nature of poultry to
possess； is developed in these specimens in the singular form of
guitar…strings。 Their limbs appear to have struck roots into their
breasts and bodies； as aged trees strike roots into the earth。 Their
legs are so hard； as to encourage the idea that they must have
devoted the greater part of their long and arduous lives to
pedestrian exercises； and the walking of matches。 But Mr Bagnet；
unconscious of these little defects； sets his heart on Mrs Bagnet
eating a most severe quantity of the delicacies before her； and as
that good old girl would not cause him a moment’s disappointment
on any day； least of all on such a day； for any consideration； she
imperils her digestion fearfully。 How young Woolwich cleans the
drumsticks without being of ostrich descent； his anxious mother is
at a loss to understand。
The old girl has another trial to undergo after the conclusion of
the repast； in sitting in state to see the room cleared； the hearth
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Bleak House 920
swept； and the dinner…service washed up and polished in the back
yard。 The great delight and energy with which the two young
ladies apply themselves to these duties； turning up their skirts in
imitation of their mother； and skating in and out on little scaffolds
of pattens； inspire the highest hopes for the future； but some
anxiety for the present。 The same causes lead to a confusion of
tongues； a clattering of crockery； a rattling of tin mugs； a whisking
of brooms； and an expenditure of water； all in excess； while the
saturation of the young ladies themselves is almost too moving a
spectacle for Mrs Bagnet to look upon； with the calmness proper
to her position。 At last the various cleansing processes are
triumphantly completed； Quebec and Malta appear in fresh attire；
smiling and dry； pipes； tobacco； and something to drink； are
placed upon the table； and