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Then I went on to think； as I dressed my hair before the glass；
how often had I considered within myself that the deep traces of
my illness； and the circumstances of my birth； were only new
reasons why I should be busy； busy； busy—useful； amiable；
serviceable； in all honest； unpretending ways。 This was a good
time； to be sure； to sit down morbidly and cry！ As to its seeming at
all strange to me at first （if that were any excuse for crying； which
it was not） that I was one day to be the mistress of Bleak House；
why should it seem strange？ Other people had thought of such
things； if I had not。 “Don’t you remember； my plain dear；” I asked
myself； looking at the glass； “what Mrs Woodcourt said before
those scars were there； about your marrying—”
Perhaps the name brought them to my remembrance。 The
dried remains of the flowers。 It would be better not to keep them
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now。 They had only been preserved in memory of something
wholly past and gone； but it would be better not to keep them now。
They were in a book； and it happened to be in the next room—
our sitting…room； dividing Ada’s chamber from mine。 I took a
candle； and went softly in to fetch it from its shelf。 After I had it in
my hand； I saw my beautiful darling； through the open door； lying
asleep； and I stole in to kiss her。
It was weak in me； I know； and I could have no reason for
crying； but I dropped a tear upon her dear face； and another； and
another。 Weaker than that； I took the withered flowers out； and
put them for a moment to her lips。 I thought about her love for
Richard； though； indeed； the flowers had nothing to do with that。
Then I took them into my own room； and burned them at the
candle； and they were dust in an instant。
On entering the breakfast…room next morning； I found my
Guardian just as usual； quite as frank； as open； and free。 There
being not the least constraint in his manner； there was none （or I
think there was none） in mine。 I was with him several times in the
course of the morning； in and out； when there was no one there；
and I thought it not unlikely that he might speak to me about the
letter； but he did not say a word。
So； on the next morning； and the next； and for at least a week；
over which time Mr Skimpole prolonged his stay。 I expected； every
day； that my Guardian might speak to me about the letter； but he
never did。
I thought then； growing uneasy； that I ought to write an answer。
I tried over and over again in my own room at night； but I could
not write an answer that at all began like a good answer； so I
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Bleak House 843
thought each night I would wait one more day。 And I waited seven
more days； and he never said a word。
At last Mr Skimpole having departed； we three were one
afternoon going out for a ride； and I being dressed before Ada； and
going down； came upon my Guardian； with his back towards me；
standing at the drawing…room window looking out。
He turned on my coming in； and said； smiling； “Aye； it’s you；
little woman； is it？” and looked out again。
I had made up my mind to speak to him now。 In short； I had
come down on purpose。 “Guardian；” I said； rather hesitating and
trembling； “when would you like to have the answer to the letter
Charley came for？”
“When it’s ready； my dear；” he replied。
“I think it is ready；” said I。
“Is Charley to bring it？” he asked pleasantly。
“No。 I have brought it myself； Guardian；” I returned。
I put my two arms round his neck and kissed him； and he said；
was this the mistress of Bleak House； and I said yes； and it made
no difference presently； and we all went out together； and I said
nothing to my precious pet about it。
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Chapter 45
In Trust
ne morning when I had done jingling about with my
baskets of keys； as my beauty and I were walking round
O
and round the garden I happened to turn my eyes
towards the house； and saw a long thin shadow going in which
looked like Mr Vholes。 Ada had been telling me only that morning；
of her hopes that Richard might exhaust his ardour in the
Chancery suit by being so very earnest in it； and therefore； not to
damp my dear girl’s spirits； I said nothing about Mr Vholes’s
shadow。
Presently came Charley； lightly winding among the bushes； and
tripping along the paths； as rosy and pretty as one of Flora’s
attendants instead of my maid； saying； “O if you please； miss；
would you step and speak to Mr Jarndyce！”
It was one of Charley’s peculiarities； that whenever she was
charged with a message she always began to deliver it as soon as
she beheld； at any distance； the person for whom it was intended。
Therefore I saw Charley； asking me in her usual form of words； to
“step and speak” to Mr Jarndyce； long before I heard her。 And
when I did hear her； she had said it so often that she was out of
breath。
I told Ada I would make haste back； and inquired of Charley； as
we went in； whether there was not a gentleman with Mr
Jarndyce？ To which Charley； whose grammar； I confess to my
shame； never did any credit to my educational powers； replied；
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Bleak House 845
“Yes； miss。 Him as come down in the country with Mr Richard。”
A more complete contrast than my Guardian and Mr Vholes； I
suppose there could not be。 I found them looking at one another
across a table； the one so open； and the other so close； the one so
broad and upright； and the other so narrow and stooping； the one
giving out what he had to say in such a rich ringing voice； and the
other keeping it in such a cold…blooded； gasping； fish…like manner；
that I thought I never had seen two people so unmatched。
“You know Mr Vholes； my dear；” said my Guardian。 Not with
the greatest urbanity； I must say。
Mr Vholes rose； gloved and buttoned up as usual； and seated
himself again； just as he had seated himself beside Richard in the
gig。 Not having Richard to look at； he looked straight before him。
“Mr Vholes；” said my Guardian； eyeing his black figure； as if he
were a bird of ill…omen； “has brought an ugly report of our most
unfortunate Rick。” Laying a marked emphasis on most
unfortunate； as if the words were rather descriptive of his
connection with Mr Vho