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after the property—to look over the papers； and to look after the
property。 We shall make good our title。 It is in the hands of my
solicitor。 Mr Tulkinghorn； of Lincoln’s Inn Fields； over the way
there； is so good as to act as my solicitor； and grass don’t grow
under his feet； I can tell ye。 Krook was Mrs Smallweed’s only
brother； she had no relation but Krook； and Krook had no relation
but Mrs Smallweed。 I am speaking of your brother； you brimstone
black…beetle； that was seventy…six years of age。”
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Mrs Smallweed instantly begins to shake her head； and pipe up；
“Seventy…six pound seven and sevenpence！ Seventy…six thousand
bags of money！ Seventy…six hundred thousand million of parcels of
banknotes！”
“Will somebody give me a quart pot？” exclaims her exasperated
husband； looking helplessly about him； and finding no missile
within his reach。 “Will somebody obleege me with a spittoon？ Will
somebody hand me anything hard and bruising to pelt at her？ You
hag； you cat； you dog； you brimstone barker！” Here Mr
Smallweed； wrought up to the highest pitch by his own eloquence；
actually throws Judy at her grandmother in default of anything
else； by butting that young virgin at the old lady with such force as
he can muster； and then dropping into his chair in a heap。
“Shake me up； somebody； if you’ll be so good；” says the voice
from within the faintly struggling bundle into which he has
collapsed。 “I have come to look after the property。 Shake me up；
and call in the police on duty at the next house； to be explained to
about the property。 My solicitor will be here presently to protect
the property。 Transportation or the gallows for anybody who shall
touch the property！” As his dutiful grandchildren set him up；
panting； and putting him through the usual restorative process of
shaking and punching； he still repeats like an echo； “the—the
property！ The property！—property！”
Mr Weevle and Mr Guppy look at each other； the former as
having relinquished the whole affair； the latter with a discomfited
countenance； as having entertained some lingering expectations
yet。 But there is nothing to be done in opposition to the
Smallweed interest。 Mr Tulkinghorn’s clerk comes down from his
official pew in the chambers； to mention to the police that Mr
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Tulkinghorn is answerable for its being all correct about the next
of kin； and that the papers and effects will be formally taken
possession of in due time and course。 Mr Smallweed is at once
permitted so far to assert his supremacy as to be carried on a visit
of sentiment into the next house； and upstairs into Miss Flite’s
deserted room； where he looks like a hideous bird of prey newly
added to her aviary。
The arrival of this unexpected heir soon taking wind in the
court； still makes good for the Sol； and keeps the court upon its
mettle。 Mrs Piper and Mrs Perkins think it hard upon the young
man if there really is no will； and consider that a handsome
present ought to be made him out of the estate。 Young Piper and
Young Perkins； as members of that restless juvenile circle which is
the terror of the foot…passengers in Chancery Lane； crumble into
ashes behind the pump and under the archway； all day long；
where wild yells and hootings take place over their remains。 Little
Swills and Miss M。 Melvilleson entered into affable conversation
with their patrons； feeling that these unusual occurrences level the
barriers between professionals and non…professionals。 Mr Bogsby
puts up “The popular song of KING DEATH！ with chorus by the
whole strength of the company；” as the great harmonic feature of
the week； and announces in the bill that “J。 G。 B。 is induced to do
so at a considerable extra expense； in consequence of a wish which
has been very generally expressed at the bar by a large body of
respectable individuals and in homage to a late melancholy event
which has aroused so much sensation。” There is one point
connected with the deceased； upon which the court is particularly
anxious； namely； that the fiction of a full…sized coffin should be
preserved； though there is so little to put in it。 Upon the
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undertaker’s stating in the Sol’s bar in the course of the day； that
he has received orders to construct “a six…footer；” the general
solicitude is much relieved； and it is considered that Mr
Smallweed’s conduct does him great honour。
Out of the court； and a long way out of it； there is considerable
excitement too； for men of science and philosophy come to look；
and carriages set down doctors at the corner who arrive with the
same intent； and there is more learned talk about inflammable
gases and phosphuretted hydrogen than the court has ever
imagined。 Some of these authorities （of course the wisest） hold
with indignation that the deceased had no business to die in the
alleged manner； and being reminded by other authorities of a
certain inquiry into the evidence for such deaths； reprinted in the
sixth volume of the Philosophical Transactions； and also of a book
not quite unknown； on English Medical Jurisprudence； and
likewise of the Italian case of the Countess Cornelia Baudi as set
forth in detail by one Bianchini； prebendary of Verona； who wrote
a scholarly work or so； and was occasionally heard of in his time as
having gleams of reason in him； and also of the testimony of
Messrs。 Foderé and Mere； two pestilent Frenchmen who would
investigate the subject； and further； of the corroborative testimony
of Monsieur Le Cat； a rather celebrated French surgeon once
upon a time； who had the unpoliteness to live in a house where
such a case occurred； and even to write an account of it；—still they
regard the late Mr Krook’s obstinacy； in going out of the world by
any such by…way； as wholly unjustifiable and personally offensive。
The less the court understands of all this； the more the court likes
it； and the greater enjoyment it has in the stock in trade of the
Sol’s Arms。 Then； there comes the artist of a picture newspaper；
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with a foreground and figures ready drawn for anything； from a
wreck on the Cornish coast to a review in Hyde Par