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That’s only because …’
‘I’ve been praying for this day nearly my whole life！ All I ever wanted was to be a Sister of the Light。 The Sisters help people。 I wanted to be one of them！’ She succumbed to her tears。 ‘I’m never going to be a Sister； now。’
‘Sure you will。’
‘Not according to you！ From what you keep telling us； you intend to kill us all！ From the first moment； all you have done is threaten us！’
‘Pasha； you don’t understand。’
Her tearstained face came up。 ‘Don’t I？ We had a big banquet to make you feel wele； bigger even than the harvest banquet。 I had to go without you and tell everyone you were ill。 They all stared at me！ The other novices get boys who want to learn。 My friends have e to me before； plaining that their young charge brought them a frog or a bug in his pocket。 You bring me a mriswith！
‘Sister Maren said we did well today。 She hardly ever says that。 It’s not something she does unless she really means it。
‘You were cruel to Sister Maren。 She has been headmistress of the novices ever since I came here。 She is strict； but that’s because she cares about us。 She watches out for us。’
Pasha gasped back a sob。 ‘When I was little； the first day I came to the palace； I was scared。 I had never been away from home。 Sister Maren drew a little picture for me。 She told me it was a picture of the Creator。 She put it on my pillow and told me He would watch over me in the night； so I would be safe。’
Pasha tried to stifle the tears； but couldn’t。 ‘I’ve always kept that picture。 I wanted to give it to my boy on his first night； so he wouldn’t be afraid。 I had it with me yesterday。 When I saw you； saw that you were grown； I knew I couldn’t give it to you。 I didn’t want to embarrass you。
And when I saw you； I thought； Well； Pasha； he’s not a young boy； like all the other novices get； but the Creator has given me the handsomest man I ever saw。 I was so glad I had on my prettiest dress； the one I had been saving for that day。’ She gasped for air。 And then you tell me I’m ugly！’
Richard’s eyes slid closed。 ‘Pasha； I’m sorry。’
‘No you’re not！’ she cried。 ‘You’re nothing but a big brute！ We had everything prepared for you。 We gave you one of the nicest rooms in the palace。 You didn’t care。 We provided you with money for whatever you might need or want； and you act as if we insulted you。 We had fine new clothes for you； and you turn your nose up at them！’
She wiped her tears； but more replaced them。 Td be the first to admit that there are some Sisters who think too much of themselves； but most are so kind they wouldn’t even step on a bug。 And you hold up a bloody sword in front of them and vow to kill them！’
She held up fists full of her skirt and covered her face as she convulsed in sobs。 Richard put a hand on her shoulder but she pushed it away。
Richard didn’t know what to do with his hands。 ‘Pasha； I’m sorry。 I know it must seem like …’
‘No you’re not！ You’re not sorry at all！ You want the Rada’Han off； but that’s what my job is； to teach you to use your gift so you can get the collar off。 But you won’t let me！ Without the collar； you would have died。
Two Sisters have given their lives for you。 They will never e home to their friends。 Those friends wept in secret； and put on a smile to wele you。 In return for trying to help you； trying to save your life； you threaten to kill us all！’
Richard put a gentle hand to her head。 ‘Pasha 。。。’
‘I’m never going to be a Sister。 Instead of getting a boy who wants to learn； I get a madman with a sword。 I’ll forever be the object of laughter at the palace。 Young girls will be told to behave themselves or they’ll end up like Pasha Maes； and be put out like she was。 My dreams have e to ruin。’
It hurt him to see her sobbing in such pain and sorrow。 Richard took her up in his arms。 She fought him at first； trying to push him away； but when he pulled her against him and put her head to his shoulder； she went limp and cried all the harder。 Richard held her tight and rubbed her back as she trembled and cried。 He rocked her gently in his arms。
‘I only wanted to help you； Richard；’ she sobbed。 ‘I only wanted to teach you。’
He hushed her。 ‘I know。 I know。 It will be all right。’
She shook her head against his shoulder。 ‘No it won’t。’
‘Yes it will。 You’ll see。’
Finally； her hands came up； clutching his shirt as she cried。 Richard didn’t try to stop her tears； he simply held her； trying to give her fort。
‘Do you really think that you could teach me to use the gift； and that then the Sisters would take the collar off？’
She sniffled。 ‘That’s my job。 That’s what I’ve been training for。 I wanted so much to show you the beauty of the Creator； of his gift to you。 That’s all I wanted。’
Her arms circled him。 She clung to him； as if trying to soak up succor。 He stroked her hair。
‘Richard； when I touched you yesterday； when I touched your Rada’Han； and felt something of your Han； I felt some of your feelings。 I know you hurt inside。 It made me hurt just to feel a little of it。’
Her hand came up to the side of his neck； as if to fort him。 ‘I don’t know of many things that can cause that much hurt。 Richard； I’m not asking to take her place。’
Richard’s eyes closed as his head sank down on her shoulder。 He swallowed back the pain。 She ran her fingers through his hair and held his head to her。
After a time； he found his voice。 ‘Maybe it wouldn’t hurt me to occasionally wear one of those outfits。’
She pushed away a little； looking up through her tears。 ‘Maybe just to the dining room； with the Sisters？’
He shrugged。 ‘That would be a good use of them； I guess。 You pick one you would like me to wear。 I don’t know anything about fancy clothes。’ He managed a small smile。 ‘I’m just a woods guide。’
Her face brightened。 ‘You would look handsome in the red coat。’
Richard winced。 ‘The red one？ Does it have to be the red one？’
She ran her finger down the Agiel hanging from his neck。 ‘No； it doesn’t have to be that one。 I just thought it would look good on your broad shoulders。’
Richard sighed。 ‘I will feel foolish in any。 It might as well be the red。’
‘You will not look foolish； you will look handsome。’ Pasha grinned。 ‘You’ll see。 All the women will be batting their lashes at you。’ She lifted the Agiel。 ‘Richard； what is this？’
‘Just sort of a good…luck charm。 You ready to go back？ I think you need to get started teaching me。 The sooner you start； the sooner I get this collar off。 Then we’ll both be happy； you will be a Sister； and I will be free。’
He put his arm around her shoulders and she put hers around his waist as they walked back for Bonnie。
CHAPTER 53
On the bridge to Halsband Island； in a pool of light under a lamp； a crowd of boys and young men mobbed them。 Many were dressed in fine clothes； some wore robes； and each had a Rada’Han around his neck。 They all excitedly asked questions at the same time； wanting to know if it was true that Richard had killed a mriswith； and what it looked like。 They wanted to tell Richard their names； and clamored for him to draw his sword and show them how he had vanquished the legendary monster。
Pasha spoke to the most persistent boy at her hip。 ‘Yes； Kipp； it’s true that Richard killed a mriswith。 Sister Maren is studying it now； and if she deems it appropriate； she will tell you of its nature。 But I can tell you true that it is a fearsome…looking beast。 Now； off with you all。 It’s nearly dinnertime。’
Despite their disappointment that no more information was forthing； they were excited by what they had heard。 They ran off in a bunch to tell others。
After leaving Bonnie at the stables； Richard walked with Pasha down halls and through vast chambers； trying to memorize the layout。 She pointed out the boys’ dining halls； and the dining hall where the Sisters and some of the older young men ate。 She also took him past the kitchens； where the aromas of c