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Richard’s strength had vanished。 The muscles in his legs quivered。 His hand shook。
‘I can’t take this。 She sent me away。 I have set her free。’
Sister Verna spoke softly。 ‘She loves you； Richard。 Please； as a favor to me； take it。 I have violated the rules to bring this to you。 I made a promise to Kahlan to make sure you know she loves you。 I was reminded again today what a rare thing real love is。’
Richard felt as if the whole weight of the palace had fallen down on him。
All right； Sister。 As a favor to you。 But I know she doesn’t want me。 If you love someone； you don’t ask them to put a collar around their neck； you don’t send them away。 She wishes to be free。 I love her； and so I have set her free。’
‘Someday； Richard； I hope you will realize how much she has sacrificed； and the truth of her love。 Love is a precious thing； and should not be forgotten。 I don’t know what your life holds in store； but someday you will find love again。
‘But； I think you need a friend more than anything else right now。 I’m sincere in my offer； Richard。’
‘Will you take this collar off me？’
She was silent a moment。 Her voice came heavy with regret。 ‘I cannot； Richard。 It would bring you to harm。 I have a duty to preserve your life。 The collar must stay on。’
He nodded。 ‘I have no friends。 I am in enemy territory； in enemy hands。’
‘That’s not true。 But I’m afraid that； as a novice； I won’t have the chance to convince you otherwise。 Pasha looks like a nice young woman。 Try to make friends with her； Richard。 You need a friend。’
‘I can’t make friends with someone I may have to kill。 I meant every word I said today； Sister。’
‘I know； Richard；’ she whispered。 ‘I know。 But Pasha is almost your age。 Sometimes； it’s easier to make friends with those your own age。 I think she would like to be your friend。
‘For a novice； this is as important a time as it is for a young wizard。 The relationship between a novice and the wizard she is assigned is unique。 The bond that will grow is very special； and will last the lifetime of each。
‘She； too； is frightened。 Her whole life； she has been a student； a novice。 Now； for the first time； she is the teacher。 Not only the boy learns； but the girl； too。 They both are entering a new life。 It is a very special thing； for both。’
‘Slave and master。 That is the only bond。’
She sighed。 ‘I doubt any novice has ever faced a task like the one Pasha will have。 Try to be understanding of her； Richard。 Pasha is going to have her hands full with you。 The Creator knows the Prelate herself would have her hands full with you。’
Richard stared off at nothing。 ‘Have you ever killed anyone you loved； Sister？’
‘Well； no 。。。’
Richard lifted the Agiel in his fist。 ‘Denna held me by my magic； as do the Sisters。 She kept a collar around my neck； as do the Sisters。
They had tortured her until she was mad enough to do the same to me。 I understood how she could do it； because I would have done anything she said； to keep from being hurt anymore。’
He was hardly aware of the pain from the Agiel ripping through him。
‘I understood her； and I loved her。’ A tear ran down his face。 ‘That was the only way I was able to escape。 She controlled the rage of the sword。 Because I was able to love her； I was able to turn the blade of the Sword of Truth white。’
‘Dear Creator；’ Sister Verna whispered； her eyes wide； ‘you have turned the sword’s blade white？’
Richard closed his eyes and nodded。 ‘I had to take the love of her into my heart。 Only then could I turn the blade white。 Only then could I run it through her while she looked lovingly into my eyes。 Only because I loved her； could I kill her； and escape。
As long as I live； I will never be able to forgive myself。’
Sister Verna embraced him protectively。 ‘Dear Creator；’ she whispered； ‘what have you done to your child？’
Richard pushed her away。 ‘Go； Sister； before you get into trouble。’ He wiped his eyes。 ‘I’m being foolish。’
She gripped his shoulders。 ‘Why didn’t you tell me this before？’
He wiped his sleeve across his nose。 ‘It’s not something I’m proud of。 And you are the enemy； Sister。’ He looked to her wet eyes。 ‘I’ve told you the truth； I told the other Sisters the truth today； I will kill anyone I must。 Sister； I’m capable of killing anyone。 I’m the bringer of death。 I’m a monster。 That’s why Kahlan wanted me sent away。’
She brushed his hair back from his face。 ‘She loves you； Richard。 She was trying to save your life。 Someday you will see that。’ She sighed。 ‘I’m sorry。 I must go。 Will you be all right？’
His smile was empty。 ‘I don’t think so； Sister。 I think there is going to be war。 I think I’m going to end up killing Sisters。 I hope you aren’t one of them。’
She wiped her fingers across his cheek。 ‘We never know what the Creator has in store for us。’
‘If this Creator of yours has any power； I think you’ll be restored to Sister a lot sooner than you think； Sister。’
‘I must go。 Good luck to you； Richard。 Have faith。’
As soon as she was gone he threw his cloak around his shoulders and put on his pack。 He had to act now； while they were still afraid of him； while they were still unsure。 He checked that the sword was clear in its scabbard。 He hooked the quiver on his pack and shouldered his bow as he moved out onto the balcony。
With a running knot； Richard attached the rope to the stone railing。 He put his knife between his teeth； and then slipped over the edge； into the darkness； into his element。
CHAPTER 51
Night didn’t seem to diminish the number of people on the streets of Tanimura。 The little fires cooking meat on sticks still burned； and the hawkers still conducted a brisk business。 Men called to him to e throw dice with them。 Once they saw his collar； people tried to entice him into buying everything from food to shell necklaces for his lady。 He told them that he had no coins。 They laughed； saying that the palace would pay for anything he wanted。 Richard hunched his shoulders and kept walking。
Women dressed in flimsy； revealing clothes pressed against him； giggling and smiling as they ran their hands over him； trying to get fingers into his pockets。 They made him offers he could hardly believe。 Pushing didn’t get them away。 His glare did。
Richard was relieved to leave the city behind； to leave the lights of torches； lamps； candles； and fires behind； to leave behind the smells and the noise。 He breathed easier when he was into the moonlit country。 He glanced over his shoulder at the twinkling lights while he climbed the hills。
He was constantly aware of the collar around his neck； and wondered what would happen if he went too far； though； from what Pasha had told him； that was many more miles than he intended to go。 Still； he worried she might be wrong； and that the slack in his chain might suddenly snap tight。
Finally； he reached a satisfactory spot。 He surveyed the grassy prominence overlooking the city in the distance。 A little way off to the side； in the swale； he could see the dark shapes of old trees looming up in the moonlight。 Shadows black as death lurked in the gaps。
Richard stared at the menacing gloom for a time； transfixed by a faint； lingering desire to go into the waiting folds of its night。 Something in him hungered to go in there； and call forth the magic。 Something in him lusted to bring forth the rage； to let it vent its wrath； vent his wrath。
It felt as if his frustration at being held against his will； his anger at being a helpless prisoner； his fear at not knowing what was going to happen to him； and his heartache for Kahlan； all needed to be let out； like pounding a fist against a wall when you were angry。 Somehow； those woods promised him that release。
Richard finally turned from the Hagen Woods and set about collecting firewood。 With his knife； he whittled a pile of shavings into a bare spot he had scooped out with his boot。 Striking steel and flint； he started the shavings to