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少年维特的烦恼-第14章

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with tears, 〃we shall see each other again —— here and hereafter we
shall meet again。〃 I could say no more。 Why , Wilhelm, should she put
this question to me , just at the monent when the fear of our cruel separation
filled my heart ?

  〃And oh ! do those departed ones know how we are employed here ?
do they know when we are well and happy ? do they know when we recall
their memories with the fondest love? In the silent hour of evening the
shade of my mother hovers around me ; when seated in the midst of my
children, I see them assembled near me , as they used to assemble near
her ; and then I raise my anxious eyes to heaven , and wish she could
look down upon us , and witness how I fulfil the promise I made to her
in her last moments , to be a mother to her children。 With what emotion
do I then exclaim , 'Pardon, dearest of mothers , pardon me, if I
do not adequately supply your place ! Alas ! I do my utmost。 They are
clothed and fed ; and, still better , they are loved and educated。
Could you but see , sweet saint! the peace and harmony that dwells amongst
us, you would glorify God with the warmest feelings of gratitude , to
whom, in your last hour, you addressed such fervent prayers for our
happiness。'〃 Thus did she express herself ; but O Wilhelm! who can do
justice to her language ? how can cold and passionless words convey the
heavenly expressions of the spirit? Albert interrupted her gently。 〃This
affects you too deeply, my dear Charlotte。 I know your soul dwells on
such recollections wlth intense delight ; but I implore—— 〃 〃O Albert!
〃 she continued , 〃I am sure you do not forget the evenings when we three
used to sit at the little round table , when papa was absent , and the
little ones had retired。 You often had a good book with you , but seldom
read it ; the conversation of that noble being was preferable to everything,
—— that beautiful , bright , gentle , and yet ever…toiling woman。
God alone knows how I have supplicated with tears on my nightly couch ,
that I might be like her。〃

  I threw myself at her feet, and, seizing her hand , bedewed it
with a thousand tears。 〃Charlotte !〃 I exclaimed , 〃God's blessing and
your mother's spirit are upon you。〃 〃Oh ! that you had known her ,〃
she said, with a warm pressure of the hand。 〃She was worthy of being
known to you。〃 I thought I should have fainted: never had I received
praise so flattering。 She continued , 〃And yet she was doomed to die
in the flower of her youth, when her youngest child was scarcely six
months old。 Her illness was but short , but she was calm and resigned
; and it was only for her children , especially the youngest, that
she felt unhappy。 When her end drew nigh, she bade me bring them to her。
I obeyed。 The younger ones knew nothing of their approaching loss , while
the elder ones were quite overe with grief。 They stood around the bed
; and she raised her feeble hands to heaven, and prayed over them ;
then, kissing them in turn , she dismissed them , and said to me ,
'Be you a mother to them。' I gave her my hand。 'You are promising much,
my child,' she said: 'a mother's fondness and a mother's care ! I have
often witnessed , by your tears of gratitude , that you know what is
a mother's tenderness : show it to your brothers and sisters , and be
dutiful and faithful to your father as a wife ; you will be his fort。'
She inquired for him。 He had retired to conceal his intolerable anguish,
—— he was heartbroken , 〃Albert, you were in the room。 She heard some
one moving: she inquired who it was, and desired you to approach。 She
surveyed us both with a look of posure and satisfaction, expressive
of her conviction that we should be happy ,—— happy with one another。〃
Albert fell upon her neck , and kissed her , and exclaimed, 〃We are
so, and we shall be so !〃 Even Albert , generally so tranquil, had
quite lost his posure; and I was excited beyond expression。

  〃And such a being ,〃 She continued , 〃was to leave us , Werther!
Great God , must we thus part with everything we hold dear in this world?
Nobody felt this more acutely than the children : they cried and lamented
for a long time afterward , plaining that men had carried away their
dear mamma。〃

  Charlotte rose。 It aroused me ; but I continued sitting, and held
her hand。 〃Let us go,〃 she said: 〃it grows late。〃 She attempted to withdraw
her hand: I held it still。 〃We shall see each other again,〃 I exclaimed
: 〃we shall recognise each other under every possible change ! I am
going ,〃 I continued , 〃going willingly ; but, should I say for ever,
perhaps I may not keep my word。 Adieu , Charlotte; adieu, Albert。 We
shall meet again。〃 〃Yes : tomorrow , I think,〃 she answered with a
smile。 Tomorrow ! how I felt the word! Ah ! she little thought , when
she drew her hand away from mine。 They walked down the avenue。 I stood
gazing after them in the moonlight。 I threw myself upon the ground, and
wept: I then sprang up , and ran out upon the terrace , and saw, under
the shade of the linden…trees , her white dress disappearing near the
garden…gate。 I stretched out my arms, and she vanished。

  BOOK II。

  OCTOBER 2O。 We arrived here yesterday。 The ambassador is indisposed,
and will not go out for some days。 If he were less peevish and morose ,
all would be well。 I see but too plainly that Heaven has destined me to
severe trials ; but courage! a light heart may bear anything。 A light
heart ! I smile to find such a word proceeding from my pen。 A little
more lightheartedness would render me the happiest being under the sun。
But must I despair of my talents and faculties, whilst others of far
inferior abilities parade before me with the utmost self…satisfaction ?
Gracious Providence , to whom I owe all my powers, why didst thou not
withhold some of those blessings I possess, and substitute in their place
a feeling of self…confidence and contentment?

  But patience! all will yet be well ; for I assure you , my dear
friend, you were right : since I have been obliged to associate continually
with other people , and observe what they do , and how they employ themselves,
I have bee far better satisfied with myself。 For we are so constituted
by nature , that we are ever prone to pare ourselves with others;
and our happiness or misery depends very much on the objects and persons
around us。 On this account, nothing is more dangerous than solitude:
there our imagination , always disposed to rise, taking a new flight
on the wings of fancy , pictures to us a chain of beings of whom we seem
the most inferior。 All things appear greater than they really are , and
all seem superior to us。 This operation of the mind is quite natural:
we so continually feel our own imperfections, and fancy we perceive in
others the qualities we do not possess, attributing to them also all
that we enjoy ourselves , that by this process we form the idea of a
perfect , happy man,—— a man, however, who only exists in our own
imagination。 But when , in spite of weakness and disappointments , we
set to work in earnest, and persevere steadily , we often find, that,
though obliged continually to tack, we make more way than others who
have the assistance of wind and tide; and, in truth , there can be
no greater satisfaction than to keep pace with others or outstrip them
in the race。

  NOVEMBER 26。 I begin to find my situation here more tolerable , considering
all circumstances。 I find a great advantage in being much occupied; and
the number of persons I meet, and their different pursuits , create
a varied entertainment for me。 I have formed the acquaintance of the Count
C —— and I esteem him more and more every day。 He is a man of strong
understanding and great discernment ; but, though he sees farther than
other people, he is not on that account cold in his manner , but capable
of inspiring and returning the warmest affection。 He appeared interested
in me on one occasion , when I had to transact some business with him。
He percei
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