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〃Excuse me； friend；〃 said be。 〃Could I have a few minutes' talk with
you on the level？〃
〃Certainly；〃 said Vuyning； with a smile。 〃But； suppose we step aside to
a quieter place。 There is a divan a cafe over here that will do。 Schrumm
will give us a private corner。〃
Schrumm established them under a growing palm； with two seidls
between them。 Vuyning made a pleasant reference to meteorological
conditions； thus forming a binge upon which might be swung the door
leading from the thought repository of the other。
〃In the first place；〃 said his companion； with the air of one who
presents his credentials； 〃I want you to understand that I am a crook。 Out
West I am known as Rowdy the Dude。 Pickpocket； supper man； second…
story man； yeggman； boxman； all…round bur… glar； cardsharp and slickest
con man west of the Twenty…third Street ferry landing that's my his… tory。
That's to show I'm on the square with you。 My name's Emerson。〃
〃Confound old Kirk with his fish stories〃 said Vuyning to himself；
with silent glee as he went through his pockets for a card。 〃It's pronounced
'Vining；'〃 he said； as he tossed it over to the other。 〃And I'll be as frank
with you。 I'm just a kind of a loafer； I guess； living on my daddy's money。
At the club they call me 'Left…at…the…Post。' I never did a day's work in my
life； and I haven't the heart to run over a chicken when I'm motoring。 It's a
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pretty shabby record； altogether。〃
〃There's one thing you can do；〃 said Emerson； admiringly； 〃you can
carry duds。 I've watched you several times pass on Broadway。 You look
the best dressed man I've seen。 And I'll bet you a gold mine I've got 50
worth more gent's furnishings on my frame than you have。 That's what I
wanted to see you about。 I can't do the trick。 Take a look at me。 What's
wrong？〃
〃Stand up；〃 said Vuyning。
Emerson arose； and slowly revolved。
〃You've been 'outfitted；'〃 declared the clubman。 〃Some Broadway
window…dresser has misused you。〃
〃That's an expensive suit； though； Emerson。〃
〃A hundred dollars；〃 said Emerson。
〃Twenty too much；〃 said Vuyning。 〃Six months old in cut； one inch
too long； and half an inch to… much lapel。 Your hat is plainly dated one
year ago； although there's only a sixteenth of an inch lacking in the brim to
tell the story。 That English poke in your collar is too short by the distance
between Troy and London。 A plain gold link cuff…button would take all the
shine out of those pearl ones with dia… mond settings。 Those tan shoes
would be exactly the articles to work into the heart of a Brooklyn school…
ma'am on a two weeks' visit to Lake Ronkon… koma。 I think I caught a
glimpse of a blue silk sock embroidered with russet lilies of the valley
when you improperly drew up your trousers as you sat down。 There
are always plain ones to be had in the stores。 Have I hurt your feelings；
Emer… son？〃
〃Double the ante！〃 cried the criticised one； greed… ily。 〃Give me more
of it。 There's a way to tote the haberdashery； and I want to get wise to it。
Say； you're the right kind of a swell。 Anything else to the queer about me？〃
〃Your tie；〃 said Vuyning； 〃is tied with absolute precision and
correctness。〃
〃Thanks；〃 gratefully 〃I spent over half an hour at it before I 〃
〃Thereby；〃 interrupted Vuyning； 〃completing your resemblance to a
dummy in a Broadway store window。〃
〃Yours truly；〃 said Emerson； sitting down again。
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〃It's bully of you to put me wise。 I knew there was something wrong；
but I couldn't just put my finger on it。 I guess it comes by nature to know
how to wear clothes。〃
〃Oh； I suppose；〃 said Vuyning； with a laugh； 〃that my ancestors picked
up the knack while they were peddling clothes from house to house a
couple of hundred years ago。 I'm told they did that。〃
〃And mine；〃 said Emerson； cheerfully； 〃were making their visits at
night； I guess； and didn't have a chance to catch on to the correct styles。〃
〃I tell you what；〃 said Vuyning； whose ennui had taken wings； 〃I'll
take you to my tailor。 He'll eliminate the mark of the beast from your
exterior。 That is； if you care to go any further in the way of expense。〃
〃Play 'em to the ceiling；〃 said Emerson； with a boyish smile of joy。
〃I've got a roll as big around as a barrel of black…eyed peas and as loose as
the wrapper of a two…for…fiver。 I don't mind telling you that I was not
touring among the Antipodes when the burglar…proof safe of the Farmers'
National Bank of Butterville； Ia。； flew open some moonless nights ago to
the tune of 16；000。〃
〃Aren't you afraid；〃 asked Vuyning； 〃that I'll call a cop and hand you
over？〃
〃You tell me；〃 said Emerson； coolly； 〃why I didn't keep them。〃
He laid Vuyning's pocketbook and watch the Vuyning 100…year…old
family watch on the table。
〃Man；〃 said Vuyning； revelling； 〃did you ever hear the tale Kirk tells
about the six…pound trout and the old fisherman？〃
〃Seems not；〃 said Emerson； politely。 〃I'd like to。〃
〃But you won't；〃 said Vuyning。 〃I've heard it scores of times。 That's
why I won't tell you。 I was just thinking how much better this is than a
club。 Now； shall we go to my tailor？〃
〃Boys； and elderly gents；〃 said Vuyning； five days later at his club；
standing up against the window where his coterie was gathered； and
keeping out the breeze； 〃a friend of mine from the West will dine at our
table this evening。〃
〃Will he ask if we have heard the latest from Denver？〃 said a member；
squirming in his chair。
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〃Will he mention the new twenty…three…story Ma… sonic Temple； in
Quincy； Ill。？〃 inquired another； dropping his nose…glasses。
〃Will he spring one of those Western Mississippi River catfish stories；
in which they use yearling calves for bait？〃 demanded Kirk； fiercely。
〃Be comforted；〃 said Vuyning。 〃He has none of the little vices。 He is a
burglar and safe…blower； and a pal of mine。〃
〃Oh； Mary Ann！〃 said they。 〃Must you always adorn every statement
with your alleged humor？〃
It came to pass that at eight in the evening a calm； smooth； brilliant；
affable man sat at Vuyning's right hand during dinner。 And when the ones
who pass their lives in city streets spoke of skyscrapers or of the little Czar
on his far； frozen throne； or of insig… nificant fish from inconsequential
streams； this big； deep…chested man； faultlessly clothed； and eyed like an
Emperor； disposed of their Lilliputian chatter with a wink of his eyelash。
And then he painted for them with hard； broad strokes a marvellous
lingual panorama of the West。 He stacked snow…topped mountains on the
table； freezing the hot dishes of the waiting diners。 With a wave of his
hand he swept the clubhouse into a pine…crowned gorge； turning the
waiters into a grim posse； and each listener into a blood…stained fugitive；
clim