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Stood GuardWomen and WhiskeyA Fight for ReligionArrival of
Missionaries
CHAPTER LXXIII。
Native CanoesSurf BathingA SanctuaryHow BuiltThe Queen's Rock
CuriositiesPetrified Lava
CHAPTER LXXIV。
Visit to the VolcanoThe CraterPillar of FireMagnificent Spectacle
A Lake of Fire
CHAPTER LXXV。
The North LakeFountains of FireStreams of Burning LavaTidal Waves
CHAPTER LXXVI。
A ReminiscenceAnother Horse StoryMy Ride with the Retired Milk Horse…
…A Picnicing ExcursionDead Volcano of HoleakalaComparison with
VesuviusAn Inside View
CHAPTER LXXVII。
A Curious CharacterA Series of StoriesSad Fate of a LiarEvidence of
Insanity
CHAPTER LXXVIII。
Return to San FranciscoShip AmusementsPreparing for Lecturing
Valuable Assistance SecuredMy First AttemptThe Audience Carried
〃All's Well that Ends Well。〃
CHAPTER LXXIX。
HighwaymenA PredicamentA Huge JokeFarewell to CaliforniaAt Home
AgainGreat Changes。 Moral。
APPENDIX。
A。Brief Sketch of Mormon History
B。The Mountain Meadows Massacre
C。Concerning a Frightful Assassination that was never Consummated
CHAPTER I。
My brother had just been appointed Secretary of Nevada Territoryan
office of such majesty that it concentrated in itself the duties and
dignities of Treasurer； Comptroller； Secretary of State； and Acting
Governor in the Governor's absence。 A salary of eighteen hundred dollars
a year and the title of 〃Mr。 Secretary；〃 gave to the great position an
air of wild and imposing grandeur。 I was young and ignorant； and I
envied my brother。 I coveted his distinction and his financial splendor；
but particularly and especially the long； strange journey he was going to
make； and the curious new world he was going to explore。 He was going to
travel！ I never had been away from home； and that word 〃travel〃 had a
seductive charm for me。 Pretty soon he would be hundreds and hundreds of
miles away on the great plains and deserts； and among the mountains of
the Far West； and would see buffaloes and Indians； and prairie dogs； and
antelopes； and have all kinds of adventures； and may be get hanged or
scalped； and have ever such a fine time； and write home and tell us all
about it； and be a hero。 And he would see the gold mines and the silver
mines； and maybe go about of an afternoon when his work was done； and
pick up two or three pailfuls of shining slugs； and nuggets of gold and
silver on the hillside。 And by and by he would become very rich； and
return home by sea； and be able to talk as calmly about San Francisco and
the ocean； and 〃the isthmus〃 as if it was nothing of any consequence to
have seen those marvels face to face。 What I suffered in contemplating
his happiness； pen cannot describe。 And so； when he offered me； in cold
blood； the sublime position of private secretary under him； it appeared
to me that the heavens and the earth passed away； and the firmament was
rolled together as a scroll！ I had nothing more to desire。 My
contentment was complete。
At the end of an hour or two I was ready for the journey。 Not much
packing up was necessary； because we were going in the overland stage
from the Missouri frontier to Nevada； and passengers were only allowed a
small quantity of baggage apiece。 There was no Pacific railroad in those
fine times of ten or twelve years agonot a single rail of it。
I only proposed to stay in Nevada three monthsI had no thought of
staying longer than that。 I meant to see all I could that was new and
strange； and then hurry home to business。 I little thought that I would
not see the end of that three…month pleasure excursion for six or seven
uncommonly long years！
I dreamed all night about Indians； deserts； and silver bars； and in due
time； next day； we took shipping at the St。 Louis wharf on board a
steamboat bound up the Missouri River。
We were six days going from St。 Louis to 〃St。 Jo。〃a trip that was so
dull； and sleepy； and eventless that it has left no more impression on my
memory than if its duration had been six minutes instead of that many
days。 No record is left in my mind； now； concerning it； but a confused
jumble of savage…looking snags； which we deliberately walked over with
one wheel or the other； and of reefs which we butted and butted； and then
retired from and climbed over in some softer place； and of sand…bars
which we roosted on occasionally； and rested； and then got out our
crutches and sparred over。
In fact； the boat might almost as well have gone to St。 Jo。 by land； for
she was walking most of the time； anyhowclimbing over reefs and
clambering over snags patiently and laboriously all day long。 The
captain said she was a 〃bully〃 boat； and all she wanted was more 〃shear〃
and a bigger wheel。 I thought she wanted a pair of stilts； but I had the
deep sagacity not to say so。
CHAPTER II。
The first thing we did on that glad evening that landed us at St。 Joseph
was to hunt up the stage…office； and pay a hundred and fifty dollars
apiece for tickets per overland coach to Carson City； Nevada。
The next morning； bright and early； we took a hasty breakfast； and
hurried to the starting…place。 Then an inconvenience presented itself
which we had not properly appreciated before； namely； that one cannot
make a heavy traveling trunk stand for twenty…five pounds of baggage
because it weighs a good deal more。 But that was all we could take
twenty…five pounds each。 So we had to snatch our trunks open； and make a
selection in a good deal of a hurry。 We put our lawful twenty…five
pounds apiece all in one valise； and shipped the trunks back to St。 Louis
again。 It was a sad parting； for now we had no swallow…tail coats and
white kid gloves to wear at Pawnee receptions in the Rocky Mountains； and
no stove…pipe hats nor patent…leather boots； nor anything else necessary
to make life calm and peaceful。 We were reduced to a war…footing。 Each
of us put on a rough； heavy suit of clothing； woolen army shirt and
〃stogy〃 boots included； and into the valise we crowded a few white
shirts； some under…clothing and such things。 My brother； the Secretary；
took along about four pounds of United States statutes and six pounds of
Unabridged Dictionary； for we did not knowpoor innocentsthat such
things could be bought in San Francisco on one day and received in Carson
City the next。 I was armed to the teeth with a pitiful little Smith &
Wesson's seven…shooter； which carried a ball like a homoeopathic pill；
and it took the whole seven to make a dose for an adult。 But I thought
it was grand。 It appeared to me to be a dangerous weapon。 It only had
one faultyou could not hit anything with it。 One of our 〃conductors〃
practiced awhile on a cow with it； and as long as she stood still and
behaved herself she was safe； but as soon as she went to moving about；
and he got to shooting at other things； she came to grief。 The Secretary
had a small…sized Colt's revolver strapped around him for protection
against the Indians； and to guard against accidents he carried it
uncapped。 Mr。 George Bemis was dismally formidable。 George Bemis was
our fellow…traveler。
We had never seen him before。 He wore in his belt an old original
〃Allen〃 revolver； such as irreverent people called a 〃pepper…box。〃 Simply
drawing the trigger back； cocked and fired the pistol。 As the trigger
came back； the hammer would begin to rise and the barrel to turn over；
and presently down would drop the hammer； and away would speed the ball。
To aim along the turning barrel and hit the thing aimed at was a feat
which was probably never done with an 〃Allen〃 in the world。 But George's
was a reliable weapon； nevertheless； because； as one of the stage…drivers
afterward said； 〃If she didn't get what she went after； she would fetch
something else。〃 And so she did。 She went after a deuce of spades nailed
against a tree； once； and fetched a mule standing about thirty yards to
the left of it。 Bemis did not want the mule； but the owner came out with
a double…barreled shotgun and persuaded him to buy it； anyhow。 It was a
cheerful weaponthe 〃Allen。〃 Sometimes all its six barrels would go off
at once； and then there was no safe place in all the region round about；
but