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free will and accord？'
〃'Yes。'
〃'Then carry them out to the letter； if it makes paupers of you！ Go！'
〃And they did go； too！ They are strung across the deserts now； working
like bees。 And I never hear a word out of them。
There is a batch of governors； and judges； and other officials here；
shipped from Washington； and they maintain the semblance of a republican
form of governmentbut the petrified truth is that Utah is an absolute
monarchy and Brigham Young is king！〃
Mr。 Street was a fine man； and I believe his story。 I knew him well
during several years afterward in San Francisco。
Our stay in Salt Lake City amounted to only two days； and therefore we
had no time to make the customary inquisition into the workings of
polygamy and get up the usual statistics and deductions preparatory to
calling the attention of the nation at large once more to the matter。
I had the will to do it。 With the gushing self…sufficiency of youth I
was feverish to plunge in headlong and achieve a great reform hereuntil
I saw the Mormon women。 Then I was touched。 My heart was wiser than my
head。 It warmed toward these poor； ungainly and pathetically 〃homely〃
creatures； and as I turned to hide the generous moisture in my eyes； I
said； 〃Nothe man that marries one of them has done an act of Christian
charity which entitles him to the kindly applause of mankind； not their
harsh censureand the man that marries sixty of them has done a deed of
open…handed generosity so sublime that the nations should stand uncovered
in his presence and worship in silence。〃
＇For a brief sketch of Mormon history； and the noted Mountain Meadow
massacre； see Appendices A and B。 ＇
CHAPTER XV。
It is a luscious country for thrilling evening stories about
assassinations of intractable Gentiles。 I cannot easily conceive of
anything more cosy than the night in Salt Lake which we spent in a
Gentile den； smoking pipes and listening to tales of how Burton galloped
in among the pleading and defenceless 〃Morisites〃 and shot them down； men
and women； like so many dogs。 And how Bill Hickman； a Destroying Angel；
shot Drown and Arnold dead for bringing suit against him for a debt。
And how Porter Rockwell did this and that dreadful thing。 And how
heedless people often come to Utah and make remarks about Brigham； or
polygamy； or some other sacred matter； and the very next morning at
daylight such parties are sure to be found lying up some back alley；
contentedly waiting for the hearse。
And the next most interesting thing is to sit and listen to these
Gentiles talk about polygamy； and how some portly old frog of an elder；
or a bishop； marries a girllikes her； marries her sisterlikes her；
marries another sisterlikes her； takes anotherlikes her； marries her
motherlikes her； marries her father； grandfather； great grandfather；
and then comes back hungry and asks for more。 And how the pert young
thing of eleven will chance to be the favorite wife and her own venerable
grandmother have to rank away down toward D 4 in their mutual husband's
esteem； and have to sleep in the kitchen； as like as not。 And how this
dreadful sort of thing； this hiving together in one foul nest of mother
and daughters； and the making a young daughter superior to her own mother
in rank and authority； are things which Mormon women submit to because
their religion teaches them that the more wives a man has on earth； and
the more children he rears； the higher the place they will all have in
the world to comeand the warmer； maybe； though they do not seem to say
anything about that。
According to these Gentile friends of ours； Brigham Young's harem
contains twenty or thirty wives。 They said that some of them had grown
old and gone out of active service； but were comfortably housed and cared
for in the heneryor the Lion House； as it is strangely named。 Along
with each wife were her childrenfifty altogether。 The house was
perfectly quiet and orderly； when the children were still。 They all took
their meals in one room； and a happy and home…like sight it was
pronounced to be。 None of our party got an opportunity to take dinner
with Mr。 Young； but a Gentile by the name of Johnson professed to have
enjoyed a sociable breakfast in the Lion House。 He gave a preposterous
account of the 〃calling of the roll；〃 and other preliminaries； and the
carnage that ensued when the buckwheat cakes came in。 But he embellished
rather too much。 He said that Mr。 Young told him several smart sayings
of certain of his 〃two…year…olds；〃 observing with some pride that for
many years he had been the heaviest contributor in that line to one of
the Eastern magazines； and then he wanted to show Mr。 Johnson one of the
pets that had said the last good thing； but he could not find the child。
He searched the faces of the children in detail； but could not decide
which one it was。 Finally he gave it up with a sigh and said：
〃I thought I would know the little cub again but I don't。〃 Mr。 Johnson
said further； that Mr。 Young observed that life was a sad； sad thing
〃because the joy of every new marriage a man contracted was so apt to be
blighted by the inopportune funeral of a less recent bride。〃 And Mr。
Johnson said that while he and Mr。 Young were pleasantly conversing in
private； one of the Mrs。 Youngs came in and demanded a breast…pin；
remarking that she had found out that he had been giving a breast…pin to
No。 6； and she； for one； did not propose to let this partiality go on
without making a satisfactory amount of trouble about it。 Mr。 Young
reminded her that there was a stranger present。 Mrs。 Young said that if
the state of things inside the house was not agreeable to the stranger；
he could find room outside。 Mr。 Young promised the breast…pin； and she
went away。 But in a minute or two another Mrs。 Young came in and
demanded a breast…pin。 Mr。 Young began a remonstrance； but Mrs。 Young
cut him short。 She said No。 6 had got one； and No。 11 was promised one；
and it was 〃no use for him to try to impose on hershe hoped she knew
her rights。〃 He gave his promise； and she went。 And presently three
Mrs。 Youngs entered in a body and opened on their husband a tempest of
tears； abuse； and entreaty。 They had heard all about No。 6； No。 11； and
No。 14。 Three more breast…pins were promised。 They were hardly gone
when nine more Mrs。 Youngs filed into the presence； and a new tempest
burst forth and raged round about the prophet and his guest。 Nine
breast…pins were promised； and the weird sisters filed out again。 And in
came eleven more； weeping and wailing and gnashing their teeth。 Eleven
promised breast…pins purchased peace once more。
〃That is a specimen；〃 said Mr。 Young。 〃You see how it is。 You see what
a life I lead。 A man can't be wise all the time。 In a heedless moment I
gave my darling No。 6excuse my calling her thus； as her other name has
escaped me for the momenta breast…pin。 It was only worth twenty…five
dollarsthat is； apparently that was its whole costbut its ultimate
cost was inevitably bound to be a good deal more。 You yourself have seen
it climb up to six hundred and fifty dollarsand alas； even that is not
the end！ For I have wives all over this Territory of Utah。 I have
dozens of wives whose numbers； even； I do not know without looking in the
family Bible。 They are scattered far and wide among the mountains and
valleys of my realm。 And mark you； every solitary one of them will hear
of this wretched breast pin； and every last one of them will have one or
die。 No。 6's breast pin will cost me twenty…five hundred dollars before
I see the end of it。 And these creatures will compare these pins
together； and if one is a shade finer than the rest； they will all be
thrown on my hands； and I will have to order a new lot to keep peace in
the family。 Sir； you probably did not know it； but all the time you were
present with my children your every movement was watched by vigilant
servitors of mine。 If you had offered to give a child a dime； or a stick
of candy； or any trifle of the kind； you would have been snatched out of
the house instantly； provided it could be done before your gif