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Mad Margaret！ Poor Peg！
He！ he！ he！ he！ （chuckling）。
Mad； I？
Yes； very！
But why？
Mystery！
Don't call！
Whisht！ whisht！
No crime
'Tis only
That I'm
Love…lonely！
That's all！
BALLADMARGARET。
To a garden full of posies
Cometh one to gather flowers；
And he wanders through its bowers
Toying with the wanton roses；
Who； uprising from their beds；
Hold on high their shameless heads
With their pretty lips a…pouting；
Never doubtingnever doubting
That for Cytherean posies
He would gather aught but roses！
In a nest of weeds and nettles
Lay a violet； half…hidden；
Hoping that his glance unbidden
Yet might fall upon her petals。
Though she lived alone； apart；
Hope lay nestling at her heart；
But； alas； the cruel awaking
Set her little heart a…breaking；
For he gathered for his posies
Only rosesonly roses！
（Bursts into tears。）
（Enter Rose。）
ROSE。 A maiden； and in tears？ Can I do aught to soften thy
sorrow？ This apple（offering apple）。
MAR。 （Examines it and rejects it。） No！ （Mysteriously。）
Tell me； are you mad？
ROSE。 I？ No！ That is； I think not。
MAR。 That's well！ Then you don't love Sir Despard
Murgatroyd？ All mad girls love him。 I love him。 I'm poor Mad
MargaretCrazy MegPoor Peg！ He！ he！ he！ he！ （chuckling）。
ROSE。 Thou lovest the bad Baronet of Ruddigore？ Oh；
horribletoo horrible！
MAR。 You pity me？ Then be my mother！ The squirrel had a
mother； but she drank and the squirrel fled！ Hush！ They sing a
brave song in our partsit runs somewhat thus： （Sings。）
〃The cat and the dog and the little puppee
Sat down in adown in ain a
I forget what they sat down in； but so the song goes！
ListenI've come to pinch her！
ROSE。 Mercy； whom？
MAR。 You mean 〃who〃。
ROSE。 Nay！ it is the accusative after the verb。
MAR。 True。 （Whispers melodramatically。） I have come to
pinch Rose Maybud！
ROSE。 （Aside； alarmed。） Rose Maybud！
MAR。 Aye！ I love himhe loved me once。 But that's all
gone； fisht！ He gave me an Italian glancethus （business）and
made me his。 He will give her an Italian glance； and make her
his。 But it shall not be； for I'll stamp on herstamp on her…
…stamp on her！ Did you ever kill anybody？ No？ Why not？
ListenI killed a fly this morning！ It buzzed； and I wouldn't
have it。 So it diedpop！ So shall she！
ROSE。 But； behold； I am Rose Maybud； and I would fain not
die 〃pop。〃
MAR。 You are Rose Maybud？
ROSE。 Yes； sweet Rose Maybud！
MAR。 Strange！ They told me she was beautiful！ And he
loves you！ No； no！ If I thought that； I would treat you as the
auctioneer and land…agent treated the lady…birdI would rend you
asunder！
ROSE。 Nay； be pacified； for behold I am pledged to another；
and Lo； we are to be wedded this very day！
MAR。 Swear me that！ Come to a Commissioner and let me have
it on affidavit！ I once made an affidavitbut it diedit died…
…it died！ But see； they comeSir Despard and his evil crew！
Hide； hidethey are all madquite mad！
ROSE。 What makes you think that？
MAR。 Hush！ They sing choruses in public。 That's mad
enough； I think。 Gohide away； or they will seize you！ Hush！
Quite softlyquite； quite softly！
（Exeunt together； on tiptoe。）
（Enter Chorus of Bucks and Blades； heralded by Chorus of
Bridesmaids。）
CHORUS OF BRIDESMAIDS。
Welcome； gentry；
For your entry
Sets our tender hearts a…beating。
Men of station；
Admiration
Prompts this unaffected greeting。
Hearty greeting offer we！
CHORUS OF BUCKS AND BLADES。
When thoroughly tired
Of being admired；
By ladies of gentle degreedegree；
With flattery sated；
High…flown and inflated；
Away from the city we fleewe flee！
From charms intramural
To prettiness rural
The sudden transition
Is simply Elysian；
So come； Amaryllis；
Come； Chloe and Phyllis；
Your slaves； for the moment； are we！
ALL。 From charms intramural； etc。
CHORUS OF BRIDESMAIDS。
The sons of the tillage
Who dwell in this village
Are people of lowly degreedegree。
Though honest and active；
They're most unattractive；
And awkward as awkward can becan be。
They're clumsy clodhoppers
With axes and choppers；
And shepherds and ploughmen
And drovers and cowmen；
And hedgers and reapers
And carters and keepers；
But never a lover for me！
ENSEMBLE。
BRIDESMAIDS。 BUCKS AND BLADES。
So welcome gentry； etc。 When thoroughly tired； etc。
（Enter Sir Despard Murgatroyd。）
SONG AND CHORUSSIR DESPARD。
SIR D。 Oh； why am I moody and sad？
CH。 Can't guess！
SIR D。 And why am I guiltily mad？
CH。 Confess！
SIR D。 Because I am thoroughly bad！
CH。 Oh yes
SIR D。 You'll see it at once in my face。
Oh； why am I husky and hoarse？
CH。 Ah； why？
SIR D。 It's the workings of conscience； of course。
CH。 Fie； fie！
SIR D。 And huskiness stands for remorse；
CH。 Oh my！
SIR D。 At least it does so in my case！
SIR D。 When in crime one is fully employed
CH。 Like you
SIR D。 Your expression gets warped and destroyed：
CH。 It do。
SIR D。 It's a penalty none can avoid；
CH。 How true！
SIR D。 I once was a nice…looking youth；
But like stone from a strong catapult
CH。 （explaining to each other）。 A trice
SIR D。 I rushed at my terrible cult
CH。 （explaining to each other）。 That's vice
SIR D。 Observe the unpleasant result！
CH。 Not nice。
SIR D。 Indeed I am telling the truth！
SIR D。 Oh； innocent； happy though poor！
CH。 That's we
SIR D。 If I had been virtuous； I'm sure
CH。 Like me
SIR D。 I should be as nice…looking as you're！
CH。 May be。
SIR D。 You are very nice…looking indeed！
Oh； innocents； listen in time
CH。 We doe；
SIR D。 Avoid an existence of crime
CH。