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With golden tresses；
Like a real princess's；
While the Ape； despite his razor keen；
Was the apiest Ape that ever was seen！
He bought white ties； and he bought dress suits；
He crammed his feet into bright tight boots
And to start in life on a brand…new plan；
He christen'd himself Darwinian Man！
But it would not do；
The scheme fell through
For the Maiden fair； whom the monkey crav'd；
Was a radiant Being；
With brain far…seeing
While Darwinian Man； though well…behav'd；
At best is only a monkey shav'd！
3 Men： For the Maiden fair； whom the monkey crav'd；
All： Was a radiant being；
With a brain far…seeing
While Darwinian Man； though well…behav'd；
At best is only a monkey shav'd！
（During this； Melissa has entered
unobserved；
she looks on in
amazement。）
Melissa： （Coming down） Oh； Lady Psyche！
Psyche： （Terrified） What！ You heard us then？
Oh； all is lost！
Melissa： Not so！ I'll breathe no word！
（Advancing in astonishment to Florian）
How marvelously strange！ and are you then
Indeed young men？
Florian： Well； yes； just now we are
But hope by dint of study to become；
In course of time； young women。
Melissa： （Eagerly） No； no； no
Oh； don't do that！ Is this indeed a man？
I've often heard of them； but； till to…day；
Never set eyes on one。 They told me men
Were hideous； idiotic； and deformed！
They are quite as beautiful as women are！
As beautiful； they're infinitely more so！
Their cheeks have not that pulpy softness which
One gets so weary of in womankind：
Their features are more marked and oh； their
chins！
（Feeling Florian's chin）
How curious！
Florian： I fear it's rather rough。
Melissa： （Eagerly） Oh； don't apologize I like it so！
QUINTET （Psyche； Melissa； Cyril； Hilarion and Florian）
〃The Woman of the Wisest Wit〃
Psyche： The woman of the wisest win
May sometimes be mistaken； O！
In Ida's views； I must admit；
My faith is somewhat shaken O！
Cyril： On every other point than this
Her learning is untainted； O！
But Man's a theme with which she is
Entirely unacquainted； O！
acquainted； O！
acquainted； O！
Entirely unacquainted； O！
All： Then jump for joy and gaily bound；
The truth is found the truth is found！
Set bells a…ringing through the air
Ring here and there and ev'rywhere
3 Men： And echo forth the joyous sound；
All： The truth is found the truth is found！
3 Men： And echo forth the joyous sound；
All： The truth is found the truth is found！
And echo forth the joyous sound；
The truth is found the truth is found！
（Dance）
Melissa： My natural instinct teaches me
（And instinct is important； O！）
You're ev'rything you ought to be；
And nothing that you oughtn't； O！
Hilarion： That fact was seen at once by you
In casual conversation； O！
Which is most creditable to
Your powers of observation； O！
…servation； O！
…servation； O！
Your powers of observation； O！
All： Then jump for joy and gaily bound；
The truth is found； the truth is found！
Set bells a…ringing through the air；
Ring here and there and ev'rywhere。
3 Men： And echo forth the joyous sound；
All： The truth is found the truth is found！
3 Men： And echo forth the joyous sound；
All： The truth is found the truth is found！
And echo forth the joyous sound；
The truth is found the truth is found！
（Exeunt Psyche； Hilarion； Cyril
and Florian；
Melissa going。）
（Enter
Lady Blanche。
Blanche： Melissa！
Melissa： （Returning） Mother！
Blanche： Here a word with you。
Those are the three new students？
Melissa： （Confused） Yes； they are。
They're charming girls。
Blanche： Particularly so。
So graceful； and so very womanly！
So skilled in all a girl's accomplishments！
Melissa： （Confused） Yes very skilled。
Blanche： They sing so nicely too！
Melissa： They do sing nicely！
Blanche： Humph！ It's very odd。
Two are tenors； one is a baritone！
Melissa： （Much agitated） They've all got colds！
Blanche： Colds！ Bah！ D'ye think I'm blind？
These 〃girls〃 are men disguised！
Melissa： Oh no indeed！
You wrong these gentlemen I mean why； see；
Here is an etui dropped by one of them （picking up an
etui）。
Containing scissors； needles； and
Blanche： （Opening it） Cigars！
Why； these are men！ And you knew this； you minx！
Melissa： Oh； spare them they are gentlemen indeed。
The Prince Hilarion （married years ago
To Princess Ida） with two trusted friends！
Consider； mother； he's her husband now；
And has been； twenty years！ Consider； too；
You're only second here you should be first。
Assist the Prince's plan； and when he gains
The Princess Ida； why； you will be first。
You will design the fashions think of that
And always serve out all the punishments！
The scheme is harmless； mother wink at it！
Blanche： （Aside） The prospect's tempting！ Well； well； well；
I'll try
Though I've not winked at anything for years！
'Tis but one step towards my destiny
The mighty Must！ the inevitable Shall！
DUET （Melissa and Lady Blanche）
〃Now Wouldn't you like to Rule the Roast〃
Melissa： Now wouldn't you like to rule the roast
And guide this University？
Blanche： I must agree；
'Twould pleasant be；
（Sing hey； a Proper Pride！）
Melissa