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PATIENCE I earn my living。
BUN。 ＇impatiently＇ No； no！ Do you know what it is to be heart…
hungry？ Do you know what it is to yearn for the Indefinable； and
yet to be brought face to face； dally； with the Multiplication
Table？ Do you know what it is to seek oceans and to find
puddles？ That's my case。 Oh； I am a cursed thing！ ＇She turns
again。＇ Don't go。
PATIENCE If you please； I don't understand you you frighten
me！
BUN。 Don't be frightened it's only poetry。
PATIENCE Well； if that's poetry； I don't like poetry。
BUN。 ＇eagerly＇ Don't you？ ＇aside＇ Can I trust her？ ＇aloud＇
Patience； you don't like poetry well； between you and me； I
don't like poetry。 It's hollow； unsubstantial unsatisfactory。
What's the use of yearning for Elysian Fields when you know you
can't get ‘em； and would only let ‘em out on building leases if
you had ‘em？
PATIENCE Sir； I
BUN。 Patience； I have long loved you。 Let me tell you a secret。
I am not as bilious as I look。 If you like； I will cut my hair。
There is more innocent fun within me than a casual spectator
would imagine。 You have never seen me frolicsome。 Be a good
girl a very good girl and one day you shall。 If you are
fond of touch…and…go jocularity this is the shop for it。
PATIENCE Sir； I will speak plainly。 In the matter of love I am
untaught。 I have never loved but my great…aunt。 But I am quite
certain that； under any circumstances； I couldn't possibly love
you。
BUN。 Oh； you think not？
PATIENCE I'm quite sure of it。 Quite sure。 Quite。
BUN。 Very good。 Life is henceforth a blank。 I don't care what
becomes of me。 I have only to ask that you will not abuse my
confidence； though you despise me； I am extremely popular with
the other young ladies。
PATIENCE I only ask that you will leave me and never renew the
subject。
BUN。 Certainly。 Broken…hearted and desolate； I go。 ＇Goes up…
stage； suddenly turns and recites。＇
〃Oh； to be wafted away；
From this black Aceldama of sorrow；
Where the dust of an earthy to…day
Is the earth of a dusty to…morrow！〃
It is a little thing of my own。 I call it 〃Heart Foam〃。 I
shall not publish it。 Farewell！ Patience； Patience； farewell！
＇Exit BUNTHORNE。＇
PATIENCE What on earth does it all mean？ Why does he love me？
Why does he expect me to love him？ ＇going R。＇ He's not a
relation！ It frightens me！
＇Enter ANGELA； L。＇
ANGELA Why； Patience； what is the matter？
PATIENCE Lady Angela； tell me two things。 Firstly； what on
earth is this love that upsets everybody； and； secondly； how is
it to be distinguished from insanity？
ANGELA Poor blind child！ Oh； forgive her； Eros！ Why； love is
of all passions the most essential！ It is the embodiment of
purity； the abstraction of refinement！ It is the one unselfish
emotion in this whirlpool of grasping greed！
PATIENCE Oh； dear； oh！ ＇beginning to cry＇
ANGELA Why are you crying？
PATIENCE To think that I have lived all these years without
having experienced this ennobling and unselfish passion！ Why；
what a wicked girl I must be！ For it is unselfish； isn't it？
ANGELA Absolutely！ Love that is tainted with selfishness is no
love。 Oh； try； try； try to love！ It really isn't difficult if
you give your whole mind to it。
PATIENCE I'll set about it at once。 I won't go to bed until I'm
head over ears in love with somebody。
ANGELA Noble girl！ But is it possible that you have never loved
anybody？
PATIENCE Yes； one。
ANGELA Ah！ Whom？
PATIENCE My great…aunt
ANGELA Great…aunts don't count。
PATIENCE Then there's nobody。 At least no； nobody。 Not
since I was a baby。 But that doesn't count； I suppose。
ANGELA I don't know。 Tell me about it。
No。 7。 Long years ago； fourteen maybe
（Duet）
Patience and Angela
PATIENCE ＇R。＇ Long years ago fourteen； maybe；
When but a tiny babe of four；
Another baby played with me；
My elder by a year or more；
A little child of beauty rare；
With marv'lous eyes and wondrous hair；
Who； in my child…eyes； seemed to me
All that a little child should be！
＇She goes to ANGELA； L。C。＇
Ah； how we loved； that child and I！
How pure our baby joy！
How true our love and； by the bye；
He was a little boy！
ANGELA Ah； old； old tale of Cupid's touch！
I thought as much I thought as much！
He was a little boy！
PATIENCE Pray don't misconstrue what I say
Remember； pray remember； pray；
He was a little boy！
ANGELA No doubt！ Yet； spite of all your pains；
The interesting fact remains …
He was a little boy！
BOTH Ah； yes； in/No doubt； yet spite of all my/your pains；
The interesting fact remains
He was a little boy！
He was a little boy！
＇Exit ANGELA； L。＇
PATIENCE ＇R。C。＇ It's perfectly dreadful to think of the
appalling state I must be in！ I had no idea that love was a
duty。 No wonder they all look so unhappy！ Upon my word； I
hardly like to associate with myself。 I don't think I'm
respectable。 I'll go at once and fall in love with。。。 ＇As she
turns to go up R。； GROSVENOR enters； R。U。E。 She sees him and
turns back。＇ a stranger！
No。 8。 Prithee； pretty maiden
（Duet）
Patience and Grosvenor
GROSVENOR ＇up…stage； R。 ＇ Prithee； pretty maiden prithee；
tell me true；
（Hey； but I'm doleful； willow willow waly！）
Have you e'er a lover a…dangling after you？
Hey willow waly O！
＇coming down…stage＇
I would fain discover
If you have a lover！
Hey willow waly O！
PATIENCE ＇L。＇ Gentle sir； my heart is frolicsome and free
（Hey； but he's doleful； willow willow waly！）
Nobody I care for comes a…courting me
Hey willow waly O！
Nobody I care for
Comes a…courting therefore；
Hey willow waly O！
GROSVENOR ＇C。＇ Prithee； pretty maiden； will you marry me？
（Hey； but I'm hopeful； willow willow waly！）
I may say； at once； I'm a man of propertee
Hey willow waly O！
Money； I despise it；
Many people prize it；
Hey willow waly O！
PATIENCE Gentle Sir； although to marry I design
（Hey； but he's hopeful； willow willow waly！）
As yet I do not know you； and so I must decline。
Hey willow waly O！
To other maidens go you
As yet I do not know you；
BOTH Hey willow waly O！
GROS。 Patience！ Can it be that you don't recognize me？
PATIENCE ＇down L。＇ Recognize you？ No； indeed I don't！
GROS。 Have fifteen years so greatly changed me？
PATIENCE ＇turning to him＇ Fifteen years？ What do you mean？
GROS。 Have you forgotten the friend of your youth； your
Archibald？ your little playfellow？ Oh； Chronos； Chronos； this
is too bad of you！ ＇Comes down； C。＇
PATIENCE Archibald！ Is it possible？ Why； let me look！ It is！
It is！ ＇takes his hands。＇ It must be！ Oh； how happy I am！ I
thought we should never meet again！ And how you've grown！
GROS。 Yes； Patience； I am much taller and much stouter than I
was。
PATIENCE And how you've improved！
GROS。 ＇dropping her hands and turning＇ Yes； Patience； I am very
beautiful！ ＇Sighs。＇
PATIENCE But surely that doesn't make you unhappy？
GROS。 Yes； Patience。