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we are： with Thomas （he has had a sad attack of rheumatism； dear
man！） and little Bobby； and our kind friend Dr。 Bates； who comes so
far to see us； I leave you to fancy that we have a charming merry
party； and do not care for all the gayeties of Ranelagh。
〃Adieu！ dear baby is crying for his mamma。 A thousand kisses from
your affectionate
〃SUSAN STUBBS。〃
There it is！ Doctor's bills； gentleman…farming； twenty…one pints
of porter a week。 In this way my unnatural parents were already
robbing me of my property。
FEBRUARY。CUTTING WEATHER。
I have called this chapter 〃cutting weather；〃 partly in compliment
to the month of February； and partly in respect of my own
misfortunes； which you are going to read about。 For I have often
thought that January （which is mostly twelfth…cake and holiday
time） is like the first four or five years of a little boy's life；
then comes dismal February； and the working…days with it； when
chaps begin to look out for themselves； after the Christmas and the
New Year's heyday and merrymaking are over； which our infancy may
well be said to be。 Well can I recollect that bitter first of
February； when I first launched out into the world and appeared at
Doctor Swishtail's academy。
I began at school that life of prudence and economy which I have
carried on ever since。 My mother gave me eighteenpence on setting
out （poor soul！ I thought her heart would break as she kissed me；
and bade God bless me）； and； besides； I had a small capital of my
own which I had amassed for a year previous。 I'll tell you； what I
used to do。 Wherever I saw six halfpence I took one。 If it was
asked for I said I had taken it and gave it back；if it was not
missed； I said nothing about it； as why should I？those who don't
miss their money； don't lose their money。 So I had a little
private fortune of three shillings； besides mother's eighteenpence。
At school they called me the copper…merchant； I had such lots of
it。
Now； even at a preparatory school； a well…regulated boy may better
himself： and I can tell you I did。 I never was in any quarrels： I
never was very high in the class or very low： but there was no chap
so much respected：and why？ I'D ALWAYS MONEY。 The other boys
spent all theirs in the first day or two； and they gave me plenty
of cakes and barley…sugar then； I can tell you。 I'd no need to
spend my own money； for they would insist upon treating me。 Well；
in a week； when theirs was gone； and they had but their threepence
a week to look to for the rest of the half…year； what did I do？
Why； I am proud to say that three…halfpence out of the threepence a
week of almost all the young gentlemen at Dr。 Swishtail's； came
into my pocket。 Suppose； for instance； Tom Hicks wanted a slice of
gingerbread； who had the money？ Little Bob Stubbs； to be sure。
〃Hicks；〃 I used to say； 〃I'LL buy you three halfp'orth of
gingerbread； if you'll give me threepence next Saturday。〃 And he
agreed； and next Saturday came； and he very often could not pay me
more than three…halfpence。 Then there was the threepence I was to
have THE NEXT Saturday。 I'll tell you what I did for a whole half…
year：I lent a chap； by the name of Dick Bunting； three…halfpence
the first Saturday for three…pence the next： he could not pay me
more than half when Saturday came； and I'm blest if I did not make
him pay me three…halfpence FOR THREE…AND…TWENTY WEEKS RUNNING；
making two shillings and tenpence…halfpenny。 But he was a sad
dishonorable fellow； Dick Bunting； for after I'd been so kind to
him； and let him off for three…and…twenty…weeks the money he owed
me； holidays came； and threepence he owed me still。 Well；
according to the common principles of practice； after six…weeks'
holidays； he ought to have paid me exactly sixteen shillings； which
was my due。 For the
First week the 3d。 would be 6d。 ｜ Fourth week 。 。 。 。 。 4s。
Second week 。 。 。 。 。 1s。 ｜ Fifth week 。 。 。 。 。 8s。
Third week 。 。 。 。 。 2s。 ｜ Sixth week 。 。 。 。 。 16s。
Nothing could be more just； and yetwill it be believed？ when
Bunting came back he offered me THREE…HALFPENCE！ the mean；
dishonest scoundrel。
However； I was even with him； I can tell you。He spent all his
money in a fortnight； and THEN I screwed him down！ I made him；
besides giving me a penny for a penny； pay me a quarter of his
bread and butter at breakfast and a quarter of his cheese at
supper； and before the half…year was out； I got from him a silver
fruit…knife； a box of compasses； and a very pretty silver…laced
waistcoat； in which I went home as proud as a king： and； what's
more； I had no less than three golden guineas in the pocket of it；
besides fifteen shillings； the knife； and a brass bottle…screw；
which I got from another chap。 It wasn't bad interest for twelve
shillingswhich was all the money I'd had in the yearwas it？
Heigho！ I've often wished that I could get such a chance again in
this wicked world； but men are more avaricious now than they used
to be in those dear early days。
Well； I went home in my new waistcoat as fine as a peacock； and
when I gave the bottle…screw to my father； begging him to take it
as a token of my affection for him； my dear mother burst into such
a fit of tears as I never saw； and kissed and hugged me fit to
smother me。 〃Bless him； bless him；〃 says she； 〃to think of his old
father。 And where did you purchase it； Bob？〃〃Why； mother；〃 says
I； 〃I purchased it out of my savings〃 （which was as true as the
gospel）。When I said this； mother looked round to father； smiling；
although she had tears in her eyes； and she took his hand； and with
her other hand drew me to her。 〃Is he not a noble boy？〃 says she
to my father： 〃and only nine years old！〃〃Faith；〃 says my father；
〃he IS a good lad； Susan。 Thank thee； my boy： and here is a crown…
piece in return for thy bottle…screwit shall open us a bottle of
the very best too；〃 says my father。 And he kept his word。 I
always was fond of good wine （though never； from a motive of proper
self…denial； having any in my cellar）； and； by Jupiter！ on this
night I had my little skinful；for there was no stinting；so
pleased were my dear parents with the bottle…screw。 The best of it
was； it only cost me threepence originally； which a chap could not
pay me。
Seeing this game was such a good one； I became very generous
towards my parents； and a capital way it is to encourage liberality
in children。 I gave mamma a very neat brass thimble； and she gave
me a half…guinea piece。 Then I gave her a very pretty needle…book；
which I made myself with an ace of spades from a new pack of cards
we had； and I got Sally； our maid； to cover it with a bit of pink
satin her mistress had given her； and I made the leaves of the
book； which I vandyked very nicely； out of a piece of flannel I had
had round my neck for a sore throat。 It smelt a little of
hartshorn； but it was a beautiful needle…book； and mamma was so
delighted with it； that she went into town and bought me a gold…
laced hat。 Then I bought papa a pretty china tobacco…stopper： but
I am sorry to say of my dear father that he was not so generous as
my mamma or myself； for he only burst out laughing； and did not
give me so much as a half…crown piece； which was the least I
expected from him。 〃I shan't give you anything； Bob； this time；〃
says he； 〃and I wish； my boy； you would not make any more such
presents；for； really； they are too expensive。〃 Expensive indeed！
I hate meanness；even in a father。
I must tell you about the silver…edged waistcoat which Bunting gave
me。 Mamma asked me about it； and I told her the truth；that it
was a present from one of the boys for my kindness to him。 Well；
what does she do but writes back to Dr。 Swishtail； when I went to
school； thanking him for his attention to her dear son； and sending
a shilling to the good and grateful little boy who had gi