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more and less than a marriage。
〃During these months the Count and I reciprocally studied each other。
I learned with astonishment that Comte Octave was but thirty…seven
years old。 The merely superficial peacefulness of his life and the
propriety of his conduct were the outcome not solely of a deep sense
of duty and of stoical reflection； in my constant intercourse with
this manan extraordinary man to those who knew him wellI felt vast
depths beneath his toil； beneath his acts of politeness； his mask of
benignity； his assumption of resignation； which so closely resembled
calmness that it is easy to mistake it。 Just as when walking through
forest…lands certain soils give forth under our feet a sound which
enables us to guess whether they are dense masses of stone or a void；
so intense egoism； though hidden under the flowers of politeness； and
subterranean caverns eaten out by sorrow sound hollow under the
constant touch of familiar life。 It was sorrow and not despondency
that dwelt in that really great soul。 The Count had understood that
actions； deeds； are the supreme law of social man。 And he went on his
way in spite of secret wounds； looking to the future with a tranquil
eye； like a martyr full of faith。
〃His concealed sadness； the bitter disenchantment from which he
suffered； had not led him into philosophical deserts of incredulity；
this brave statesman was religious； without ostentation； he always
attended the earliest mass at Saint…Paul's for pious workmen and
servants。 Not one of his friends； no one at Court； knew that he so
punctually fulfilled the practice of religion。 He was addicted to God
as some men are addicted to a vice； with the greatest mystery。 Thus
one day I came to find the Count at the summit of an Alp of woe much
higher than that on which many are who think themselves the most
tried； who laugh at the passions and the beliefs of others because
they have conquered their own； who play variations in every key of
irony and disdain。 He did not mock at those who still follow hope into
the swamps whither she leads； nor those who climb a peak to be alone；
nor those who persist in the fight； reddening the arena with their
blood and strewing it with their illusions。 He looked on the world as
a whole； he mastered its beliefs； he listened to its complaining； he
was doubtful of affection； and yet more of self…sacrifice； but this
great and stern judge pitied them； or admired them； not with transient
enthusiasm； but with silence； concentration； and the communion of a
deeply…touched soul。 He was a sort of catholic Manfred； and unstained
by crime； carrying his choiceness into his faith； melting the snows by
the fires of a sealed volcano； holding converse with a star seen by
himself alone！
〃I detected many dark riddles in his ordinary life。 He evaded my gaze
not like a traveler who； following a path； disappears from time to
time in dells or ravines according to the formation of the soil； but
like a sharpshooter who is being watched； who wants to hide himself；
and seeks a cover。 I could not account for his frequent absences at
the times when he was working the hardest； and of which he made no
secret from me； for he would say； 'Go on with this for me；' and trust
me with the work in hand。
〃This man； wrapped in the threefold duties of the statesman； the
judge； and the orator； charmed me by a taste for flowers； which shows
an elegant mind； and which is shared by almost all persons of
refinement。 His garden and his study were full of the rarest plants；
but he always bought them half…withered。 Perhaps it pleased him to see
such an image of his own fate！ He was faded like these dying flowers；
whose almost decaying fragrance mounted strangely to his brain。 The
Count loved his country； he devoted himself to public interests with
the frenzy of a heart that seeks to cheat some other passion； but the
studies and work into which he threw himself were not enough for him；
there were frightful struggles in his mind； of which some echoes
reached me。 Finally； he would give utterance to harrowing aspirations
for happiness； and it seemed to me he ought yet to be happy； but what
was the obstacle？ Was there a woman he loved？ This was a question I
asked myself。 You may imagine the extent of the circles of torment
that my mind had searched before coming to so simple and so terrible a
question。 Notwithstanding his efforts； my patron did not succeed in
stifling the movements of his heart。 Under his austere manner； under
the reserve of the magistrate； a passion rebelled； though coerced with
such force that no one but I who lived with him ever guessed the
secret。 His motto seemed to be； 'I suffer； and am silent。' The escort
of respect and admiration which attended him； the friendship of
workers as valiant as himselfGrandville and Serizy； both presiding
judgeshad no hold over the Count： either he told them nothing； or
they knew all。 Impassible and lofty in public； the Count betrayed the
man only on rare intervals when； alone in his garden or his study； he
supposed himself unobserved； but then he was a child again； he gave
course to the tears hidden beneath the toga； to the excitement which；
if wrongly interpreted； might have damaged his credit for perspicacity
as a statesman。
〃When all this had become to me a matter of certainty； Comte Octave
had all the attractions of a problem； and won on my affection as much
as though he had been my own father。 Can you enter into the feeling of
curiosity； tempered by respect？ What catastrophe had blasted this
learned man； who； like Pitt； had devoted himself from the age of
eighteen to the studies indispensable to power； while he had no
ambition； this judge； who thoroughly knew the law of nations；
political law； civil and criminal law； and who could find in these a
weapon against every anxiety； against every mistake； this profound
legislator； this serious writer； this pious celibate whose life
sufficiently proved that he was open to no reproach？ A criminal could
not have been more hardly punished by God than was my master； sorrow
had robbed him of half his slumbers； he never slept more than four
hours。 What struggle was it that went on in the depths of these hours
apparently so calm； so studious； passing without a sound or a murmur；
during which I often detected him； when the pen had dropped from his
fingers； with his head resting on one hand； his eyes like two fixed
stars； and sometimes wet with tears？ How could the waters of that
living spring flow over the burning strand without being dried up by
the subterranean fire？ Was there below it； as there is under the sea；
between it and the central fires of the globe； a bed of granite？ And
would the volcano burst at last？
〃Sometimes the Count would give me a look of that sagacious and keen…
eyed curiosity by which one man searches another when he desires an
accomplice； then he shunned my eye as he saw it open a mouth； so to
speak； insisting on a reply； and seeming to say； 'Speak first！' Now
and then Comte Octave's melancholy was surly and gruff。 If these
spurts of temper offended me； he could get over it without thinking of
asking my pardon； but then his manners were gracious to the point of
Christian humility。
〃When I became attached like a son to this manto me such a mystery；
but so intelligible to the outer world； to whom the epithet eccentric
is enough to account for all the enigmas of the heartI changed the
state of the house。 Neglect of his own interests was carried by the
Count to the length of folly in the management of his affairs。
Possessing an income of about a hundred and sixty thousand francs；
without including the emoluments of his appointmentsthree of which
did not come under the law against pluralityhe spent sixty thousand；
of which at least thirty thousand went to his servants。 By the end of
the first year I had got rid of all these rascals； and begged His
Excellency to use his influence in helping me to get honest servants。
By the end of the second year the Count； better fed and better served；
enjoyed the comforts of modern life； he had fine horses； supplied by a
coachman to whom I paid so much a month for each horse； his dinners