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moment； 〃is he here？〃
〃Mrs。 X。；〃 returned Mrs。 Y。； drawing herself up to her full height；
〃how dare you？〃
〃Oh； please don't misunderstand me！〃 pleaded Mrs。 X。 〃It's all a
terrible mistake。 They must have brought poor Percy here instead
of to our place； I'm sure they must。 Do please look and see。〃
〃My dear；〃 said Mrs。 Y。； who was a much older woman； and more
motherly； 〃don't excite yourself。 They brought him here about half
an hour ago； and； to tell you the truth； I never looked at him。 He
is in here。 I don't think they troubled to take off even his
boots。 If you keep cool； we will get him downstairs and home
without a soul beyond ourselves being any the wiser。
Indeed； Mrs。 Y。 seemed quite eager to help Mrs。 X。
She pushed open the door； and Mrs。 X； went in。 The next moment she
came out with a white； scared face。
〃It isn't Percy；〃 she said。 〃Whatever am I to do？〃
〃I wish you wouldn't make these mistakes；〃 said Mrs。 Y。； moving to
enter the room herself。
Mrs。 X。 stopped her。 〃And it isn't your husband either。〃
〃Nonsense；〃 said Mrs。 Y。
〃It isn't really；〃 persisted Mrs。 X。 〃I know； because I have just
left him； asleep on Percy's bed。〃
〃What's he doing there？〃 thundered Mrs。 Y。
〃They brought him there； and put him there；〃 explained Mrs。 X。；
beginning to cry。 〃That's what made me think Percy must be here。〃
The two women stood and looked at one another； and there was
silence for awhile； broken only by the snoring of the gentleman the
other side of the half…open door。
〃Then who is that； in there？〃 demanded Mrs。 Y。； who was the first
to recover herself。
〃I don't know；〃 answered Mrs。 X。； 〃I have never seen him before。
Do you think it is anybody you know？〃
But Mrs。 Y。 only banged to the door。
〃What are we to do？〃 said Mrs。 X。
〃I know what _I_ am going to do；〃 said Mrs。 Y。 〃I'm coming back
with you to fetch my husband。〃
〃He's very sleepy；〃 explained Mrs。 X。
〃I've known him to be that before；〃 replied Mrs。 Y。； as she
fastened on her cloak。
〃But where's Percy？〃 sobbed poor little Mrs。 X。； as they descended
the stairs together。
〃That my dear；〃 said Mrs。 Y。； 〃will be a question for you to ask
HIM。〃
〃If they go about making mistakes like this；〃 said Mrs。 X。； 〃it is
impossible to say what they may not have done with him。〃
〃We will make enquiries in the morning； my dear；〃 said Mrs。 Y。；
consolingly。
〃I think these Kneipes are disgraceful affairs；〃 said Mrs。 X。 〃I
shall never let Percy go to another； neverso long as I live。〃
〃My dear；〃 remarked Mrs。 Y。； 〃if you know your duty； he will never
want to。〃 And rumour has it that he never did。
But； as I have said； the mistake was in pinning the card to the
tablecloth instead of to the coat。 And error in this world is
always severely punished。
CHAPTER XIV
Which is serious： as becomes a parting chapterThe German from
the Anglo…Saxon's point of viewProvidence in buttons and a
helmetParadise of the helpless idiotGerman conscience： its
aggressivenessHow they hang in Germany； very possiblyWhat
happens to good Germans when they die？The military instinct： is
it all…sufficient？The German as a shopkeeperHow he supports
lifeThe New Woman； here as everywhereWhat can be said against
the Germans； as a peopleThe Bummel is over and done。
〃Anybody could rule this country；〃 said George； 〃_I_ could rule
it。〃
We were seated in the garden of the Kaiser Hof at Bonn； looking
down upon the Rhine。 It was the last evening of our Bummel； the
early morning train would be the beginning of the end。
〃I should write down all I wanted the people to do on a piece of
paper；〃 continued George； 〃get a good firm to print off so many
copies； have them posted about the towns and villages； and the
thing would be done。〃
In the placid； docile German of to…day； whose only ambition appears
to be to pay his taxes； and do what he is told to do by those whom
it has pleased Providence to place in authority over him； it is
difficult； one must confess； to detect any trace of his wild
ancestor； to whom individual liberty was as the breath of his
nostrils； who appointed his magistrates to advise； but retained the
right of execution for the tribe； who followed his chief； but would
have scorned to obey him。 In Germany to…day one hears a good deal
concerning Socialism； but it is a Socialism that would only be
despotism under another name。 Individualism makes no appeal to the
German voter。 He is willing； nay； anxious； to be controlled and
regulated in all things。 He disputes； not government； but the form
of it。 The policeman is to him a religion； and； one feels； will
always remain so。 In England we regard our man in blue as a
harmless necessity。 By the average citizen he is employed chiefly
as a signpost； though in busy quarters of the town he is considered
useful for taking old ladies across the road。 Beyond feeling
thankful to him for these services； I doubt if we take much thought
of him。 In Germany； on the other hand； he is worshipped as a
little god and loved as a guardian angel。 To the German child he
is a combination of Santa Clans and the Bogie Man。 All good things
come from him： Spielplatze to play in； furnished with swings and
giant…strides； sand heaps to fight around； swimming baths； and
fairs。 All misbehaviour is punished by him。 It is the hope of
every well…meaning German boy and girl to please the police。 To be
smiled at by a policeman makes it conceited。 A German child that
has been patted on the head by a policeman is not fit to live with；
its self…importance is unbearable。
The German citizen is a soldier； and the policeman is his officer。
The policeman directs him where in the street to walk； and how fast
to walk。 At the end of each bridge stands a policeman to tell the
German how to cross it。 Were there no policeman there； he would
probably sit down and wait till the river had passed by。 At the
railway station the policeman locks him up in the waiting…room；
where he can do no harm to himself。 When the proper time arrives；
he fetches him out and hands him over to the guard of the train；
who is only a policeman in another uniform。 The guard tells him
where to sit in the train； and when to get out； and sees that he
does get out。 In Germany you take no responsibility upon yourself
whatever。 Everything is done for you； and done well。 You are not
supposed to look after yourself； you are not blamed for being
incapable of looking after yourself； it is the duty of the German
policeman to look after you。 That you may be a helpless idiot does
not excuse him should anything happen to you。 Wherever you are and
whatever you are doing you are in his charge； and he takes care of
yougood care of you； there is no denying this。
If you lose yourself； he finds you； and if you lose anything
belonging to you； he recovers it for you。 If you don't know what
you want； he tells you。 If you want anything that is good for you
to have； he gets it for you。 Private lawyers are not needed in
Germany。 If you want to buy or sell a house or field； the State
makes out the conveyance。 If you have been swindled； the State
takes up the case for you。 The State marries you； insures you；
will even gamble with you for a trifle。
〃You get yourself born；〃 says the German Government to the German
citizen； 〃we do the rest。 Indoors and out of doors； in sickness
and in health； in pleasure and in work； we will tell you what to
do； and we will see to it that you do it。 Don't you worry yourself
about anything。〃
And the German doesn't。 Where there is no policeman to be found；
he wanders about till he comes to a police notice posted on a wall。
This he reads； then he goes and does what it says。
I remember in one German townI forget which； it is immaterial；
the incident could have happened in anynoticing an open gate
leading to a garden in which a concert was being given。 There was
nothing to prevent anyone who chose from walking through that gate；
and thus gaining admittance to the concert without paying。 In
fact； of the two gates quarter of a mile apart it was the more
convenient。 Yet of the crowds that passed； not one attempted t