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get in anybody's way with a perambulator； and if anybody gets in
your way you must get out of their way。 If you want to stop with a
perambulator； you must go to a place specially appointed where
perambulators may stop； and when you get there you MUST stop。 You
must not cross the road with a perambulator； if you and the baby
happen to live on the other side； that is your fault。 You must not
leave your perambulator anywhere； and only in certain places can
you take it with you。 I should say that in Germany you could go
out with a perambulator and get into enough trouble in half an hour
to last you for a month。 Any young Englishman anxious for a row
with the police could not do better than come over to Germany and
bring his perambulator with him。
In Germany you must not leave your front door unlocked after ten
o'clock at night； and you must not play the piano in your own house
after eleven。 In England I have never felt I wanted to play the
piano myself； or to hear anyone else play it； after eleven o'clock
at night； but that is a very different thing to being told that you
must not play it。 Here； in Germany； I never feel that I really
care for the piano until eleven o'clock； then I could sit and
listen to the 〃Maiden's Prayer；〃 or the Overture to 〃Zampa；〃 with
pleasure。 To the law…loving German； on the other hand； music after
eleven o'clock at night ceases to be music； it becomes sin； and as
such gives him no satisfaction。
The only individual throughout Germany who ever dreams of taking
liberties with the law is the German student； and he only to a
certain well…defined point。 By custom； certain privileges are
permitted to him； but even these are strictly limited and clearly
understood。 For instance； the German student may get drunk and
fall asleep in the gutter with no other penalty than that of having
the next morning to tip the policeman who has found him and brought
him home。 But for this purpose he must choose the gutters of side…
streets。 The German student； conscious of the rapid approach of
oblivion； uses all his remaining energy to get round the corner；
where he may collapse without anxiety。 In certain districts he may
ring bells。 The rent of flats in these localities is lower than in
other quarters of the town； while the difficulty is further met by
each family preparing for itself a secret code of bell…ringing by
means of which it is known whether the summons is genuine or not。
When visiting such a household late at night it is well to be
acquainted with this code； or you may； if persistent； get a bucket
of water thrown over you。
Also the German student is allowed to put out lights at night； but
there is a prejudice against his putting out too many。 The larky
German student generally keeps count； contenting himself with half
a dozen lights per night。 Likewise； he may shout and sing as he
walks home； up till half…past two； and at certain restaurants it is
permitted to him to put his arm round the Fraulein's waist。 To
prevent any suggestion of unseemliness； the waitresses at
restaurants frequented by students are always carefully selected
from among a staid and elderly classy of women； by reason of which
the German student can enjoy the delights of flirtation without
fear and without reproach to anyone。
They are a law…abiding people； the Germans。
CHAPTER X
Baden from the visitor's point of viewBeauty of the early
morning； as viewed from the preceding afternoonDistance； as
measured by the compassDitto； as measured by the legGeorge in
account with his conscienceA lazy machineBicycling； according
to the poster： its restfulnessThe poster cyclist： its costume；
its methodThe griffin as a household petA dog with proper self…
respectThe horse that was abused。
From Baden； about which it need only be said that it is a pleasure
resort singularly like other pleasure resorts of the same
description； we started bicycling in earnest。 We planned a ten
days' tour； which； while completing the Black Forest； should
include a spin down the Donau…Thal； which for the twenty miles from
Tuttlingen to Sigmaringen is； perhaps； the finest valley in
Germany； the Danube stream here winding its narrow way past old…
world unspoilt villages； past ancient monasteries； nestling in
green pastures； where still the bare…footed and bare…headed friar；
his rope girdle tight about his loins； shepherds； with crook in
hand； his sheep upon the hill sides； through rocky woods； between
sheer walls of cliff； whose every towering crag stands crowned with
ruined fortress； church； or castle； together with a blick at the
Vosges mountains； where half the population is bitterly pained if
you speak to them in French； the other half being insulted when you
address them in German； and the whole indignantly contemptuous at
the first sound of English； a state of things that renders
conversation with the stranger somewhat nervous work。
We did not succeed in carrying out our programme in its entirety；
for the reason that human performance lags ever behind human
intention。 It is easy to say and believe at three o'clock in the
afternoon that： 〃We will rise at five； breakfast lightly at half…
past； and start away at six。〃
〃Then we shall be well on our way before the heat of the day sets
in；〃 remarks one。
〃This time of the year； the early morning is really the best part
of the day。 Don't you think so？〃 adds another。
〃Oh； undoubtedly。〃
〃So cool and fresh。〃
〃And the half…lights are so exquisite。〃
The first morning one maintains one's vows。 The party assembles at
half…past five。 It is very silent； individually； somewhat snappy；
inclined to grumble with its food； also with most other things； the
atmosphere charged with compressed irritability seeking its vent。
In the evening the Tempter's voice is heard：
〃I think if we got off by half…past six； sharp； that would be time
enough？〃
The voice of Virtue protests； faintly： 〃It will be breaking our
resolution。〃
The Tempter replies： 〃Resolutions were made for man； not man for
resolutions。〃 The devil can paraphrase Scripture for his own
purpose。 〃Besides； it is disturbing the whole hotel； think of the
poor servants。〃
The voice of Virtue continues； but even feebler： 〃But everybody
gets up early in these parts。〃
〃They would not if they were not obliged to； poor things！ Say
breakfast at half…past six； punctual； that will be disturbing
nobody。〃
Thus Sin masquerades under the guise of Good； and one sleeps till
six； explaining to one's conscience； who； however； doesn't believe
it； that one does this because of unselfish consideration for
others。 I have known such consideration extend until seven of the
clock。
Likewise； distance measured with a pair of compasses is not
precisely the same as when measured by the leg。
〃Ten miles an hour for seven hours； seventy miles。 A nice easy
day's work。〃
〃There are some stiff hills to climb？〃
〃The other side to come down。 Say； eight miles an hour； and call
it sixty miles。 Gott in Himmel！ if we can't average eight miles an
hour； we had better go in bath…chairs。〃 It does seem somewhat
impossible to do less； on paper。
But at four o'clock in the afternoon the voice of Duty rings less
trumpet…toned：
〃Well； I suppose we ought to be getting on。〃
〃Oh； there's no hurry！ don't fuss。 Lovely view from here； isn't
it？〃
〃Very。 Don't forget we are twenty…five miles from St。 Blasien。〃
〃How far？〃
〃Twenty…five miles； a little over if anything。〃
〃Do you mean to say we have only come thirty…five miles？〃
〃That's all。〃
〃Nonsense。 I don't believe that map of yours。〃
〃It is impossible； you know。 We have been riding steadily ever
since the first thing this morning。〃
〃No； we haven't。 We didn't get away till eight； to begin with。〃
〃Quarter to eight。〃
〃Well； quarter to eight； and every half…dozen miles we have
stopped。〃
〃We have only stopped to look at the view。 It's no good coming to
see a country； and then not seeing it。〃
〃And we have had to pull up some stiff hills。〃
〃Besides； it has been an exceptionally hot day to…day。〃
〃Well； don't forget St。 Blasien is twenty…five miles off； tha