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woman by any means。
Myself； I am of opinion that had she brought the action she
threatened； she would have had no case； but our chief was a man who
had had experience of the law； and his principle was always to
avoid it。 I have heard him say：
〃If a man stopped me in the street and demanded of me my watch； I
should refuse to give it to him。 If he threatened to take it by
force； I feel I should； though not a fighting man； do my best to
protect it。 If； on the other hand； he should assert his intention
of trying to obtain it by means of an action in any court of law； I
should take it out of my pocket and hand it to him； and think I had
got off cheaply。〃
He squared the matter with the florid…faced lady for a five…pound
note； which must have represented a month's profits on the paper；
and she departed； taking her damaged offspring with her。 After she
was gone； our chief spoke kindly to me。 He said：
〃Don't think I am blaming you in the least； it is not your fault；
it is Fate。 Keep to moral advice and criticismthere you are
distinctly good； but don't try your hand any more on 'Useful
Information。' As I have said； it is not your fault。 Your
information is correct enoughthere is nothing to be said against
that； it simply is that you are not lucky with it。〃
I would that I had followed his advice always； I would have saved
myself and other people much disaster。 I see no reason why it
should be； but so it is。 If I instruct a man as to the best route
between London and Rome； he loses his luggage in Switzerland； or is
nearly shipwrecked off Dover。 If I counsel him in the purchase of
a camera； he gets run in by the German police for photographing
fortresses。 I once took a deal of trouble to explain to a man how
to marry his deceased wife's sister at Stockholm。 I found out for
him the time the boat left Hull and the best hotels to stop at。
There was not a single mistake from beginning to end in the
information with which I supplied him； no hitch occurred anywhere；
yet now he never speaks to me。
Therefore it is that I have come to restrain my passion for the
giving of information； therefore it is that nothing in the nature
of practical instruction will be found； if I can help it； within
these pages。
There will be no description of towns； no historical reminiscences；
no architecture； no morals。
I once asked an intelligent foreigner what he thought of London。
He said： 〃It is a very big town。〃
I said： 〃What struck you most about it？〃
He replied： 〃The people。〃
I said： 〃Compared with other townsParis； Rome； Berlin；what did
you think of it？〃
He shrugged his shoulders。 〃It is bigger；〃 he said； 〃what more can
one say？〃
One anthill is very much like another。 So many avenues； wide or
narrow； where the little creatures swarm in strange confusion；
these bustling by； important； these halting to pow…wow with one
another。 These struggling with big burdens； those but basking in
the sun。 So many granaries stored with food； so many cells where
the little things sleep； and eat； and love； the corner where lie
their little white bones。 This hive is larger； the next smaller。
This nest lies on the sand； and another under the stones。 This was
built but yesterday； while that was fashioned ages ago； some say
even before the swallows came； who knows？
Nor will there be found herein folk…lore or story。
Every valley where lie homesteads has its song。 I will tell you
the plot； you can turn it into verse and set it to music of your
own。
There lived a lass； and there came a lad； who loved and rode away。
It is a monotonous song； written in many languages； for the young
man seems to have been a mighty traveller。 Here in sentimental
Germany they remember him well。 So also the dwellers of the Blue
Alsatian Mountains remember his coming among them； while； if my
memory serves me truly； he likewise visited the Banks of Allan
Water。 A veritable Wandering Jew is he； for still the foolish
girls listen； so they say； to the dying away of his hoof…beats。
In this land of many ruins； that long while ago were voice…filled
homes； linger many legends； and here again； giving you the
essentials； I leave you to cook the dish for yourself。 Take a
human heart or two； assorted； a bundle of human passionsthere are
not many of them； half a dozen at the most； season with a mixture
of good and evil； flavour the whole with the sauce of death； and
serve up where and when you will。 〃The Saint's Cell；〃 〃The Haunted
Keep；〃 〃The Dungeon Grave；〃 〃The Lover's Leap〃call it what you
will； the stew's the same。
Lastly； in this book there will be no scenery。 This is not
laziness on my part； it is self…control。 Nothing is easier to
write than scenery； nothing more difficult and unnecessary to read。
When Gibbon had to trust to travellers' tales for a description of
the Hellespont； and the Rhine was chiefly familiar to English
students through the medium of Caesar's Commentaries； it behoved
every globe…trotter； for whatever distance； to describe to the best
of his ability the things that he had seen。 Dr。 Johnson； familiar
with little else than the view down Fleet Street； could read the
description of a Yorkshire moor with pleasure and with profit。 To
a cockney who had never seen higher ground than the Hog's Back in
Surrey； an account of Snowdon must have appeared exciting。 But we；
or rather the steam…engine and the camera for us； have changed all
that。 The man who plays tennis every year at the foot of the
Matterhorn； and billiards on the summit of the Rigi； does not thank
you for an elaborate and painstaking description of the Grampian
Hills。 To the average man； who has seen a dozen oil paintings； a
hundred photographs； a thousand pictures in the illustrated
journals； and a couple of panoramas of Niagara； the word…painting
of a waterfall is tedious。
An American friend of mine； a cultured gentleman； who loved poetry
well enough for its own sake； told me that he had obtained a more
correct and more satisfying idea of the Lake district from an
eighteenpenny book of photographic views than from all the works of
Coleridge； Southey； and Wordsworth put together。 I also remember
his saying concerning this subject of scenery in literature； that
he would thank an author as much for writing an eloquent
description of what he had just had for dinner。 But this was in
reference to another argument； namely； the proper province of each
art。 My friend maintained that just as canvas and colour were the
wrong mediums for story telling； so word…painting was； at its best；
but a clumsy method of conveying impressions that could much better
be received through the eye。
As regards the question； there also lingers in my memory very
distinctly a hot school afternoon。 The class was for English
literature； and the proceedings commenced with the reading of a
certain lengthy； but otherwise unobjectionable； poem。 The author's
name； I am ashamed to say； I have forgotten； together with the
title of the poem。 The reading finished； we closed our books； and
the Professor； a kindly； white…haired old gentleman； suggested our
giving in our own words an account of what we had just read。
〃Tell me；〃 said the Professor； encouragingly； 〃what it is all
about。〃
〃Please； sir；〃 said the first boyhe spoke with bowed head and
evident reluctance； as though the subject were one which； left to
himself； he would never have mentioned；〃it is about a maiden。〃
〃Yes；〃 agreed the Professor； 〃but I want you to tell me in your own
words。 We do not speak of a maiden； you know； we say a girl。 Yes；
it is about a girl。 Go on。〃
〃A girl；〃 repeated the top boy； the substitution apparently
increasing his embarrassment； 〃who lived in a wood。〃
〃What sort of a wood？〃 asked the Professor。
The first boy examined his inkpot carefully； and then looked at the
ceiling。
〃Come；〃 urged the Professor； growing impatient； 〃you have been
reading about this wood for the last ten minutes。 Surely you can
tell me something concerning it。〃
〃The gnarly trees； their twisted branches〃recommenced the top
boy。
〃No； no；〃 interrupted the Professor； 〃I do not want you to repeat
the