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started at the sound。 He might be excused for doing so； for the
words were kindly said； and strange sounds frighten one。 He
trembled violently； and burst into tears。
“My boy！” said the old gentleman； “you look pale and alarmed。
What is the matter？”
“Stand a little away from him； beadle；” said the other
magistrate； laying aside the paper； and leaning forward with an
expression of interest。 “Now； boy； tell us what’s the matter—don’t
be afraid。”
Oliver fell on his knees； and clasped his hands together； prayed
that they would order him back to the dark room—that they would
starve him—beat him—kill him if they pleased—rather than send
him away with that dreadful man。
“Well！” said Mr。 Bumble； raising his hands and eyes with most
impressive solemnity。 “Well！ of all the artful and designing
orphans that ever I see； Oliver； you are one of the most barefacedest。”
“Hold your tongue； beadle；” said the second old gentleman；
Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
Oliver Twist
when Mr。 Bumble had given vent to this compound adjective。
“I beg your worship’s pardon；” said Mr。 Bumble； incredulous of
his having heard aright。 “Did your worship speak to me？
“Yes。 Hold your tongue。”
Mr。 Bumble was stupefied with astonishment。 A beadle ordered
to hold his tongue！ A moral revolution！ The old gentleman in the
tortoise…shell spectacles looked at his companion； he nodded
significantly。
“We refuse to sanction these indentures；” said the old
gentleman； tossing aside the piece of parchment as he spoke。
“I hope；” stammered Mr。 Limbkins； “I hope the magistrates will
not form the opinion that the authorities have been guilty of any
improper conduct； on the unsupported testimony of a mere child。”
“The magistrates are not called upon to pronounce any opinion
on the matter；” said the second old gentleman sharply。 “Take the
boy back to the workhouse； and treat him kindly。 He seems to
want it。”
That same evening； the gentleman in the white waistcoat most
positively and decidedly affirmed； not only that Oliver would be
hung； but that he would be drawn and quartered into the bargain。
Mr。 Bumble shook his head with gloomy mystery； and said he
wished he might come to good； whereunto Mr。 Gamfield replied
that he wished he might come to him； which； although he agreed
with the beadle in most matters； would seem to be a wish of a
totally opposite description。 The next morning； the public were
once more informed that Oliver Twist was again To Let； and that
five pounds would be paid to anybody who would take possession
of him。
Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
Oliver Twist
Chapter 4
Oliver； Being Offered Another Place； Makes His
First Entry Into Public Life。
In great families； when an advantageous place cannot be
obtained； either in possession； reversion； remainder； or
expectancy； for the young man who is growing up； it is a very
general custom to send him to sea。 The Board； in imitation of so
wise and salutary an example； took counsel together on the
expediency of shipping off Oliver Twist； in some small trading
vessel bound to a good unhealthy port； which suggested itself as
the very best thing that could possibly be done with him： the
probability being； that the skipper would flog him to death； in a
playful mood； some day after dinner； or would knock his brains
out with an iron bar； both pastimes being； as is pretty generally
known； very favourite and common recreations among gentlemen
of that class。 The more the case presented itself to the Board； in
this point of view； the more manifold the advantages of the step
appeared； so； they come to the conclusion that the only way of
providing for Oliver effectually； was to send him to sea without
delay。
Mr。 Bumble had been despatched to make various preliminary
inquiries； with the view of finding out some captain or other who
wanted a cabin…boy without any friends； and was returning to the
workhouse to communicate the result of his mission； when he
encountered at the gate； no less a person than Mr。 Sowerberry； the
parochial undertaker。
Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
Oliver Twist
Mr Sowerberry was a tall； gaunt； large…jointed man； attired in a
suit of threadbare black with darned cotton stockings of the same
colour； and shoes to answer。 His features were not naturally
intended to wear a smiling aspect； but he was in general rather
given to professional jocosity。 His step was elastic； and his face
betokened inward pleasantry； as he advanced to Mr。 Bumble； and
shook him cordially by the hand。
“I have taken the measure of the two women that died last
night； Mr。 Bumble；” said the undertaker。
“You’ll make your fortune； Mr。 Sowerberry；” said the beadle； as
he thrust his thumb and forefinger into the proffered snuff…box of
the undertaker： which was an ingenious little model of a patent
coffin。 “I say you’ll make your fortune； Mr。 Sowerberry；” repeated
Mr。 Bumble； tapping the undertaker on the shoulder； in a friendly
manner； with his cane。
“Think so？” said the undertaker； in a tone which half…admitted
and half…disputed the probability of the event。 “The prices allowed
by the Board are very small； Mr。 Bumble。”
“So are the coffins；” replied the beadle； with precisely as near
the approach to a laugh as a great official ought to indulge in。
Mr。 Sowerberry was much tickled at this—as of course he ought
to be…and laughed a long time without cessation。 “Well； well； Mr。
Bumble；” he said at length； “there’s no denying that； since the new
system of feeding has come in； the coffins are something narrower
and more shallow than they used to be； but we must have some
profit； Mr。 Bumble。 Well…seasoned timber is an expensive article；
sir； and all the iron handles come； by canal； from Birmingham。”
“Well； well；” said Mr。 Bumble； “every trade has its drawbacks。
A fair profit is； of course； allowable。”
Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
Oliver Twist
“Of course； of course；” replied the undertaker； “and if I don’t
get a profit upon this or that particular article； why； I make it up in
the long run； you see—he！ he！ he！”
“Just so；” said Mr。 Bumble。
“Though I must say；” continued the undertaker； resuming the
current of observations which the beadle had interrupted； “though
I must say； Mr。 Bumble； that I have to contend against one very
great disadvantage： which is； that all the stout people go off the
quickest。 The people who have been better off； and have paid rates
for many years； are the first to sink when they come into the
house； and let me tell you； Mr。 Bumble； that three or four inches
over one’s calculation makes a great hole in one’s profits：
especially when one has a family to provide for； sir。”
As Mr。 Sowerberry said this； with the becoming indignation of
an ill…used man； and as Mr。 Bumble felt that it rather tended to
convey a reflection on the honour of the parish； the latter
gentleman thought it advisable to change the subject。 Oliver Twist
being uppermost in his mind； he made him his theme。
“By the bye； said Mr。 Bumble； “you don’t know anybody who
wants a boy； do you？ A porochial ’prentis； who is at present a
dead…weight； a millstone； as I may say； round the porochial throat？
Liberal terms； Mr。 Sowerberry； liberal terms！”
As Mr。 Bumble spoke； he raised his cane to the bill above him；
and gave three distinct raps upon the words “five pounds”： which
were printed thereon in Roman capitals of gigantic size。
“Gadso！” said the undertaker； taking Mr。 Bumble by the gilt…
edged lapel of his official coat； “that’s just the very thing I wanted
to speak to you about。 You know—dear me； what a very elegant
button this is； Mr。 Bumble！ I never noticed it before。”
Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
Oliver Twist
“Yes； I think it is rather pretty；” said the beadle； glancing
proudly downwards at the large brass buttons which embellished
his coat。 “The die is the same as the porochial seal—the Good
Samaritan heal