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would grieve her。 Things went on much as before； but after a time I
began to find that there was a bit of a change in Mary herself。 She had
always been so trusting and so innocent； but now she became queer and
suspicious； wanting to know where I had been and what I had been doing；
and whom my letters were from； and what I had in my pockets； and a
thousand such follies。 Day by day she grew queerer and more irritable；
and we had ceaseless rows about nothing。 I was fairly puzzled by it all。
Sarah avoided me now； but she and Mary were just inseparable。 I can see
now how she was plotting and scheming and poisoning my wife's mind
against me； but I was such a blind beetle that I could not understand it at
the time。 Then I broke my blue ribbon and began to drink again； but I
think I should not have done it if Mary had been the same as ever。 She had
some reason to be disgusted with me now； and the gap between us began
to be wider and wider。 And then this Alec Fairbairn chipped in； and
things became a thousand times blacker。
〃'It was to see Sarah that he came to my house first； but soon it was to
see us； for he was a man with winning ways； and he made friends
wherever he went。 He was a dashing； swaggering chap； smart and curled；
who had seen half the world and could talk of what he had seen。 He was
good company； I won't deny it； and he had wonderful polite ways with him
for a sailor man； so that I think there must have been a time when he knew
more of the poop than the forecastle。 For a month he was in and out of
my house； and never once did it cross my mind that harm might come of
his soft； tricky ways。 And then at last something made me suspect； and
from that day my peace was gone forever。
〃'It was only a little thing； too。 I had come into the parlour
unexpected； and as I walked in at the door I saw a light of welcome on my
wife's face。 But as she saw who it was it faded again； and she turned
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away with a look of disappointment。 That was enough for me。 There
was no one but Alec Fairbairn whose step she could have mistaken for
mine。 If I could have seen him then I should have killed him； for I have
always been like a madman when my temper gets loose。 Mary saw the
devil's light in my eyes； and she ran forward with her hands on my sleeve。
〃Don't； Jim； don't！〃 says she。 〃Where's Sarah？〃 I asked。 〃In the
kitchen；〃 says she。 〃Sarah；〃 says I as I went in； 〃this man Fairbairn is
never to darken my door again。〃 〃Why not？〃 says she。 〃Because I
order it。〃 〃Oh！〃 says she； 〃if my friends are not good enough for this
house； then I am not good enough for it either。〃 〃You can do what you
like；〃 says I； 〃but if Fairbairn shows his face here again I'll send you one
of his ears for a keepsake。〃 She was frightened by my face； I think； for
she never answered a word； and the same evening she left my house。
〃'Well； I don't know now whether it was pure devilry on the part of this
woman； or whether she thought that she could turn me against my wife by
encouraging her to misbehave。 Anyway； she took a house just two streets
off and let lodgings to sailors。 Fairbairn used to stay there； and Mary
would go round to have tea with her sister and him。 How often she went
I don't know； but I followed her one day； and as I broke in at the door
Fairbairn got away over the back garden wall； like the cowardly skunk that
he was。 I swore to my wife that I would kill her if I found her in his
company again； and I led her back with me； sobbing and trembling； and as
white as a piece of paper。 There was no trace of love between us any
longer。 I could see that she hated me and feared me； and when the
thought of it drove me to drink； then she despised me as well。
〃'Well； Sarah found that she could not make a living in Liverpool； so
she went back； as I understand； to live with her sister in Croydon； and
things jogged on much the same as ever at home。 And then came this
week and all the misery and ruin。
〃'It was in this way。 We had gone on the May Day for a round
voyage of seven days； but a hogshead got loose and started one of our
plates； so that we had to put back into port for twelve hours。 I left the
ship and came home； thinking what a surprise it would be for my wife； and
hoping that maybe she would be glad to see me so soon。 The thought
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was in my head as I turned into my own street； and at that moment a cab
passed me； and there she was； sitting by the side of Fairbairn； the two
chatting and laughing； with never a thought for me as I stood watching
them from the footpath。
〃'I tell you； and I give you my word for it； that from that moment I was
not my own master； and it is all like a dim dream when I look back on it。
I had been drinking hard of late； and the two things together fairly turned
my brain。 There's something throbbing in my head now； like a docker's
hammer； but that morning I seemed to have all Niagara whizzing and
buzzing in my ears。
〃'Well； I took to my heels； and I ran after the cab。 I had a heavy oak
stick in my hand； and I tell you I saw red from the first； but as I ran I got
cunning； too； and hung back a little to see them without being seen。
They pulled up soon at the railway station。 There was a good crowd
round the booking…office； so I got quite close to them without being seen。
They took tickets for New Brighton。 So did I； but I got in three carriages
behind them。 When we reached it they walked along the Parade； and I
was never more than a hundred yards from them。 At last I saw them hire
a boat and start for a row； for it was a very hot day； and they thought； no
doubt； that it would be cooler on the water。
〃'It was just as if they had been given into my hands。 There was a bit
of a haze； and you could not see more than a few hundred yards。 I hired
a boat for myself； and I pulled after them。 I could see the blur of their
craft； but they were going nearly as fast as I； and they must have been a
long mile from the shore before I caught them up。 The haze was like a
curtain all round us； and there were we three in the middle of it。 My God；
shall I ever forget their faces when they saw who was in the boat that was
closing in upon them？ She screamed out。 He swore like a madman and
jabbed at me with an oar； for he must have seen death in my eyes。 I got
past it and got one in with my stick that crushed his head like an egg。 I
would have spared her； perhaps； for all my madness； but she threw her