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circuit； for he stuck to his duties like a chief part of his
existence； and I remember it as the only occasion on which he ever
soiled his lips with slang … a thing he loathed。 We were both
Roberts； and as we took our places at table； he addressed me with a
twinkle： 〃We are just what you would call two bob。〃 He offered me
port； I remember； as the proper milk of youth； spoke of 〃twenty…
shilling notes〃； and throughout the meal was full of old…world
pleasantry and quaintness； like an ancient boy on a holiday。 But
what I recall chiefly was his confession that he had never read
OTHELLO to an end。 Shakespeare was his continual study。 He loved
nothing better than to display his knowledge and memory by adducing
parallel passages from Shakespeare； passages where the same word
was employed； or the same idea differently treated。 But OTHELLO
had beaten him。 〃That noble gentleman and that noble lady … h'm …
too painful for me。〃 The same night the hoardings were covered
with posters； 〃Burlesque of OTHELLO；〃 and the contrast blazed up in
my mind like a bonfire。 An unforgettable look it gave me into that
kind man's soul。 His acquaintance was indeed a liberal and pious
education。 All the humanities were taught in that bare dining…room
beside his gouty footstool。 He was a piece of good advice； he was
himself the instance that pointed and adorned his various talk。
Nor could a young man have found elsewhere a place so set apart
from envy； fear； discontent； or any of the passions that debase； a
life so honest and composed； a soul like an ancient violin； so
subdued to harmony； responding to a touch in music … as in that
dining…room； with Mr。 Hunter chatting at the eleventh hour； under
the shadow of eternity； fearless and gentle。
The second class of old people are not anecdotic； they are rather
hearers than talkers； listening to the young with an amused and
critical attention。 To have this sort of intercourse to
perfection； I think we must go to old ladies。 Women are better
hearers than men； to begin with； they learn； I fear in anguish； to
bear with the tedious and infantile vanity of the other sex； and we
will take more from a woman than even from the oldest man in the
way of biting comment。 Biting comment is the chief part； whether
for profit or amusement； in this business。 The old lady that I
have in my eye is a very caustic speaker； her tongue； after years
of practice； in absolute command； whether for silence or attack。
If she chance to dislike you； you will be tempted to curse the
malignity of age。 But if you chance to please even slightly； you
will be listened to with a particular laughing grace of sympathy；
and from time to time chastised； as if in play； with a parasol as
heavy as a pole…axe。 It requires a singular art； as well as the
vantage…ground of age； to deal these stunning corrections among the
coxcombs of the young。 The pill is disguised in sugar of wit； it
is administered as a compliment … if you had not pleased； you would
not have been censured； it is a personal affair … a hyphen； A TRAIT
D'UNION； between you and your censor； age's philandering； for her
pleasure and your good。 Incontestably the young man feels very
much of a fool； but he must be a perfect Malvolio； sick with self…
love； if he cannot take an open buffet and still smile。 The
correction of silence is what kills； when you know you have
transgressed； and your friend says nothing and avoids your eye。 If
a man were made of gutta…percha； his heart would quail at such a
moment。 But when the word is out； the worst is over； and a fellow
with any good…humour at all may pass through a perfect hail of
witty criticism； every bare place on his soul hit to the quick with
a shrewd missile； and reappear； as if after a dive； tingling with a
fine moral reaction； and ready； with a shrinking readiness； one…
third loath； for a repetition of the discipline。
There are few women； not well sunned and ripened； and perhaps
toughened； who can thus stand apart from a man and say the true
thing with a kind of genial cruelty。 Still there are some … and I
doubt if there be any man who can return the compliment。 The class
of man represented by Vernon Whitford in THE EGOIST says； indeed；
the true thing； but he says it stockishly。 Vernon is a noble
fellow； and makes； by the way； a noble and instructive contrast to
Daniel Deronda； his conduct is the conduct of a man of honour； but
we agree with him； against our consciences； when he remorsefully
considers 〃its astonishing dryness。〃 He is the best of men； but
the best of women manage to combine all that and something more。
Their very faults assist them； they are helped even by the
falseness of their position in life。 They can retire into the
fortified camp of the proprieties。 They can touch a subject and
suppress it。 The most adroit employ a somewhat elaborate reserve
as a means to be frank； much as they wear gloves when they shake
hands。 But a man has the full responsibility of his freedom；
cannot evade a question； can scarce be silent without rudeness；
must answer for his words upon the moment； and is not seldom left
face to face with a damning choice； between the more or less
dishonourable wriggling of Deronda and the downright woodenness of
Vernon Whitford。
But the superiority of women is perpetually menaced； they do not
sit throned on infirmities like the old； they are suitors as well
as sovereigns； their vanity is engaged； their affections are too
apt to follow； and hence much of the talk between the sexes
degenerates into something unworthy of the name。 The desire to
please； to shine with a certain softness of lustre and to draw a
fascinating picture of oneself； banishes from conversation all that
is sterling and most of what is humorous。 As soon as a strong
current of mutual admiration begins to flow； the human interest
triumphs entirely over the intellectual； and the commerce of words；
consciously or not； becomes secondary to the commencing of eyes。
But even where this ridiculous danger is avoided； and a man and
woman converse equally and honestly； something in their nature or
their education falsifies the strain。 An instinct prompts them to
agree； and where that is impossible； to agree to differ。 Should
they neglect the warning； at the first suspicion of an argument；
they find themselves in different hemispheres。 About any point of
business or conduct； any actual affair demanding settlement； a
woman will speak and listen； hear and answer arguments； not only
with natural wisdom； but with candour and logical honesty。 But if
the subject of debate be something in the air； an abstraction； an
excuse for talk； a logical Aunt Sally； then may the male debater
instantly abandon hope； he may employ reason； adduce facts； be
supple； be smiling； be angry； all shall avail him nothing； what the
woman said first； that （unless she has forgotten it） she will
repeat at the end。 Hence； at the very junctures when a talk
between men grows brighter and quicker and begins to promise to
bear fruit； talk between the sexes is menaced with dissolution。
The point of difference； the point of interest； is evaded by the
brilliant woman； under a shower of irrelevant conversational
rockets； it is bridged by the discreet woman with a rustle of silk；
as she passes smoothly forward to the nearest point of safety。 And
this sort of prestidigitation； juggling the dangerous topic out of
sight until it can be reintroduced with safety in an altered shape；
is a piece of tactics among the true drawing…room queens。
The drawing…room is； indeed； an artificial place； it is so by our
choice and for our sins。 The subjection of women； the ideal
imposed upon them from the cradle； and worn； like a hair…shirt；
with so much constancy； their motherly； superior tenderness to
man's