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the kentons-第5章

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picked up copies of war histories and biographies; which; as fast as he
read them; he sent off to his son at Tuskingum; and had him put them away
with the documents for the life of his regiment。  His wife could see;
with compassion if not sympathy; that he was fondly strengthening by
these means the ties that bound him to his home; and she silently
proposed to go back to it with him whenever he should say the word。

He had a mechanical fidelity; however; to their agreement that they
should stay till spring; and he made no sign of going; as the winter wore
away to its end; except to write out to Tuskingum minute instructions for
getting the garden ready。  He varied his visits to the book…stalls by
conferences with seedsmen at their stores; and his wife could see that he
had as keen a satisfaction in despatching a rare find from one as from
the other。

She forbore to make him realize that the situation had not changed; and
that they would be taking their daughter back to the trouble the girl
herself had wished to escape。  She was trusting; with no definite hope;
for some chance of making him feel this; while Kenton was waiting with a
kind of passionate patience for the term of his exile; when he came in
one day in April from one of his long walks; and said he had been up to
the Park to see the blackbirds。  But he complained of being tired; and he
lay down on his bed。  He did not get up for dinner; and then it was six
weeks before he left his room。

He could not remember that he had ever been sick so long before; and he
was so awed by his suffering; which was severe but not serious; that when
his doctor said he thought a voyage to Europe would be good for him he
submitted too meekly for Mrs。 Kenton。  Her heart smote her for her guilty
joy in his sentence; and she punished herself by asking if it would not
do him more good to get back to the comfort and quiet of their own house。 
She went to the length of saying that she believed his attack had been
brought on more by homesickness than anything else。  But the doctor
agreed rather with her wish than her word; and held out that his
melancholy was not the cause but the effect of his disorder。  Then she
took courage and began getting ready to go。  She did not flag even in the
dark hours when Kenton got back his courage with his returning strength;
and scoffed at the notion of Europe; and insisted that as soon as they
were in Tuskingum he should be all right again。

She felt the ingratitude; not to say the perfidy; of his behavior; and
she fortified herself indignantly against it; but it was not her constant
purpose; or the doctor's inflexible opinion; that prevailed with Kenton
at last a letter came one day for Ellen which she showed to her mother;
and which her mother; with her distress obscurely relieved by a sense of
its powerful instrumentality; brought to the girl's father。  It was from
that fellow; as they always called him; and it asked of the girl a
hearing upon a certain point in which; it had just come to his knowledge;
she had misjudged him。  He made no claim upon her; and only urged his
wish to right himself with her because she was the one person in the
whole world; after his mother; for whose good opinion he cared。  With
some tawdriness of sentiment; the letter was well worded; it was
professedly written for the sole purpose of knowing whether; when she
came back to Tuskingum; she would see him; and let him prove to her that
he was not wholly unworthy of the kindness she had shown him when he was
without other friends。

〃What does she say?〃  the judge demanded。

〃What do you suppose?〃  his wife retorted。  〃She thinks she ought to see
him。〃

〃Very well; then。  We will go to Europe。〃

〃Not on my account!〃  Mrs。 Kenton consciously protested。

〃No; not on your account; or mine; either。  On Nelly's account。  Where is
she?  I want to talk with her。〃

〃And I want to talk with you。  She's out; with Lottie; and when she comes
back I will tell her what you say。  But I want to know what you think;
first。〃




III。

It was some time before they arrived at a common agreement as to what
Kenton thought; and when they reached it they decided that they must
leave the matter altogether to Ellen; as they had done before。  They
would never force her to anything; and if; after all that her mother
could say; she still wished to see the fellow; they would not deny her。

When it came to this; Ellen was a long time silent; so long a time that
her mother was beginning restively to doubt whether she was going to
speak at all。  Then she drew a long; silent breath。  〃I suppose I ought
to despise myself; momma; for caring for him; when he's never really said
that he cared for me。〃

〃No; no;〃 her mother faltered。

〃But I do; I do!〃  she gave way piteously。  〃I can't help it!  He doesn't
say so; even now。〃

〃No; he doesn't。〃  It hurt her mother to own the fact that alone gave her
hope。

The girl was a long time silent again before she asked; 〃Has poppa got
the tickets?〃

〃Why; he wouldn't; Ellen; child; till he knew how you felt;〃 her mother
tenderly reproached her。

〃He'd better not wait!〃  The tears ran silently down Ellen's cheeks; and
her lips twitched a little between these words and the next; she spoke as
if it were still of her father; but her mother understood。  〃If he ever
does say so; don't you speak a word to me; momma; and don't you let
poppa。〃

〃No; indeed I won't;〃 her mother promised。  〃Have we ever interfered;
Ellen?  Have we ever tried to control you?〃

〃He WOULD have said so; if he hadn't seen that everybody was against
him。〃  The mother bore without reply the ingratitude and injustice that
she knew were from the child's pain and not from her will。  〃Where is his
letter?  Give me his letter!〃  She nervously twitched it from her
mother's hand and ran it into her pocket。  She turned away to go and put
off her hat; which she still wore from coming in with Lottie; but she
stopped and looked over her shoulder at her mother。  〃I'm going to answer
it; and I don't want you ever to ask me what I've said。  Will you?〃

〃No; I won't; Nelly。〃

〃Well; then!〃

The next night she went with Boyne and Lottie to the apartment overhead
to spend their last evening with the young people there; who were going
into the country the next day。  She came back without the others; who
wished to stay a little longer; as she said; with a look of gay
excitement in her eyes; which her mother knew was not happiness。  Mrs。
Kenton had an impulse to sweep into her lap the lithograph plans of the
steamer; and the passage ticket which lay open on the table before
herself and her husband。  But it was too late to hide them from Ellen。 
She saw them; and caught up the ticket; and read it; and flung it down
again。  〃Oh; I didn't think you would do it!〃 she burst out; and she ran
away to her room; where they could hear her sobbing; as they sat
haggardly facing each other。

〃Well; that settles it;〃 said Benton at last; with a hard gulp。

〃Oh; I suppose so;〃 his wife assented。

On his part; now; he had a genuine regret for her disappointment from the
sad safety of the trouble that would keep them at home; and on her part
she could be glad of it if any sort of comfort could come out of it to
him。

〃Till she says go;〃 he added; 〃we've got to stay。〃

〃Oh yes;〃 his wife responded。  〃The worst of it is; we can't even go back
to Tuskingum:' He looked up suddenly at her; and she saw that be had not
thought of this。  She made 〃Tchk!〃 in sheer amaze at him。

〃We won't cross that river till we come to it;〃 he said; sullenly; but
half…ashamed。  The next morning the situation had not changed overnight;
as they somehow both crazily hoped it might; and at breakfast; which they
had at a table grown more remote from others with the thinning out of the
winter guests of the hotel; the father and mother sat down alone in
silence which was scarcely broken till Lottie and Boyne joined them。

〃Where's Ellen?〃  the boy demanded。

〃She's having her breakfast in her room;〃 Mrs。 Kenton answered。

〃She says she don't want to eat anything;〃 Lottie reported。  〃She made
the man take it away again。〃

The
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