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By the advice of a fallacious local saddler； a leather pad was made
for me with rings to fasten on my bundle； and I thoughtfully
completed my kit and arranged my toilette。 By way of armoury and
utensils； I took a revolver； a little spirit…lamp and pan； a
lantern and some halfpenny candles； a jack…knife and a large
leather flask。 The main cargo consisted of two entire changes of
warm clothing … besides my travelling wear of country velveteen；
pilot…coat； and knitted spencer … some books； and my railway…rug；
which； being also in the form of a bag； made me a double castle for
cold nights。 The permanent larder was represented by cakes of
chocolate and tins of Bologna sausage。 All this； except what I
carried about my person； was easily stowed into the sheepskin bag；
and by good fortune I threw in my empty knapsack； rather for
convenience of carriage than from any thought that I should want it
on my journey。 For more immediate needs I took a leg of cold
mutton； a bottle of Beaujolais； an empty bottle to carry milk； an
egg…beater； and a considerable quantity of black bread and white；
like Father Adam； for myself and donkey； only in my scheme of
things the destinations were reversed。
Monastrians； of all shades of thought in politics； had agreed in
threatening me with many ludicrous misadventures； and with sudden
death in many surprising forms。 Cold； wolves； robbers； above all
the nocturnal practical joker； were daily and eloquently forced on
my attention。 Yet in these vaticinations； the true； patent danger
was left out。 Like Christian； it was from my pack I suffered by
the way。 Before telling my own mishaps； let me in two words relate
the lesson of my experience。 If the pack is well strapped at the
ends； and hung at full length … not doubled； for your life … across
the pack…saddle； the traveller is safe。 The saddle will certainly
not fit； such is the imperfection of our transitory life； it will
assuredly topple and tend to overset； but there are stones on every
roadside； and a man soon learns the art of correcting any tendency
to overbalance with a well…adjusted stone。
On the day of my departure I was up a little after five； by six； we
began to load the donkey； and ten minutes after； my hopes were in
the dust。 The pad would not stay on Modestine's back for half a
moment。 I returned it to its maker； with whom I had so
contumelious a passage that the street outside was crowded from
wall to wall with gossips looking on and listening。 The pad
changed hands with much vivacity； perhaps it would be more
descriptive to say that we threw it at each other's heads； and； at
any rate； we were very warm and unfriendly； and spoke with a deal
of freedom。
I had a common donkey pack…saddle … a BARDE； as they call it …
fitted upon Modestine； and once more loaded her with my effects。
The doubled sack； my pilot…coat （for it was warm； and I was to walk
in my waistcoat）； a great bar of black bread； and an open basket
containing the white bread； the mutton； and the bottles； were all
corded together in a very elaborate system of knots； and I looked
on the result with fatuous content。 In such a monstrous deck…
cargo； all poised above the donkey's shoulders； with nothing below
to balance； on a brand…new pack…saddle that had not yet been worn
to fit the animal； and fastened with brand…new girths that might be
expected to stretch and slacken by the way； even a very careless
traveller should have seen disaster brewing。 That elaborate system
of knots； again； was the work of too many sympathisers to be very
artfully designed。 It is true they tightened the cords with a
will； as many as three at a time would have a foot against
Modestine's quarters； and be hauling with clenched teeth； but I
learned afterwards that one thoughtful person； without any exercise
of force； can make a more solid job than half…a…dozen heated and
enthusiastic grooms。 I was then but a novice； even after the
misadventure of the pad nothing could disturb my security； and I
went forth from the stable door as an ox goeth to the slaughter。
THE GREEN DONKEY…DRIVER
THE bell of Monastier was just striking nine as I got quit of these
preliminary troubles and descended the hill through the common。 As
long as I was within sight of the windows； a secret shame and the
fear of some laughable defeat withheld me from tampering with
Modestine。 She tripped along upon her four small hoofs with a
sober daintiness of gait； from time to time she shook her ears or
her tail； and she looked so small under the bundle that my mind
misgave me。 We got across the ford without difficulty … there was
no doubt about the matter； she was docility itself … and once on
the other bank； where the road begins to mount through pine…woods；
I took in my right hand the unhallowed staff； and with a quaking
spirit applied it to the donkey。 Modestine brisked up her pace for
perhaps three steps； and then relapsed into her former minuet。
Another application had the same effect； and so with the third。 I
am worthy the name of an Englishman； and it goes against my
conscience to lay my hand rudely on a female。 I desisted； and
looked her all over from head to foot； the poor brute's knees were
trembling and her breathing was distressed； it was plain that she
could go no faster on a hill。 God forbid； thought I； that I should
brutalise this innocent creature； let her go at her own pace； and
let me patiently follow。
What that pace was； there is no word mean enough to describe； it
was something as much slower than a walk as a walk is slower than a
run； it kept me hanging on each foot for an incredible length of
time； in five minutes it exhausted the spirit and set up a fever in
all the muscles of the leg。 And yet I had to keep close at hand
and measure my advance exactly upon hers； for if I dropped a few
yards into the rear； or went on a few yards ahead； Modestine came
instantly to a halt and began to browse。 The thought that this was
to last from here to Alais nearly broke my heart。 Of all
conceivable journeys； this promised to be the most tedious。 I
tried to tell myself it was a lovely day； I tried to charm my
foreboding spirit with tobacco； but I had a vision ever present to
me of the long； long roads； up hill and down dale； and a pair of
figures ever infinitesimally moving； foot by foot； a yard to the
minute； and； like things enchanted in a nightmare； approaching no
nearer to the goal。
In the meantime there came up behind us a tall peasant； perhaps
forty years of age； of an ironical snuffy countenance； and arrayed
in the green tail…coat of the country。 He overtook us hand over
hand； and stopped to consider our pitiful advance。
'Your donkey；' says he； 'is very old？'
I told him； I believed not。
Then； he supposed； we had come far。
I told him； we had but newly left Monastier。
'ET VOUS MARCHEZ COMME CA！' cried he； and； throwing back his head；
he laughed long and heartily。 I watched him； half prepared to feel
offended； until he had satisfied his mirth； and then； 'You must
have no pity on these animals；' said he； and； plucking a switch out
of a thicket； he began to lace Modestine about the stern…works；
uttering a cry。 The rogue pricked up her ears and broke into a
good round pace； which she kept up without flagging； and without
exhibiting the least symptom of distress； as long as the peasant
kept beside us。 Her former panting and shaking had been； I regret
to say； a piece of comedy。
My DEUS EX MACHINA； before he left me； supplied some excellent； if
inhumane； advice； presented me with the switch； which he declared
she would feel more tenderly than my cane； and finally taught me
the true cry or masonic word of donkey…drivers； 'Proot！' All the
time； he regarded me with a comical； incre