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On my suggestion he remained almost entirely in
the bathroom； which； upon the whole； was the safest place。
There could be really no shadow of an excuse for anyone ever
wanting to go in there； once the steward had done with it。
It was a very tiny place。 Sometimes he reclined on
the floor； his legs bent； his head sustained on one elbow。
At others I would find him on the campstool； sitting in his gray
sleeping suit and with his cropped dark hair like a patient；
unmoved convict。 At night I would smuggle him into my bed place；
and we would whisper together； with the regular footfalls of
the officer of the watch passing and repassing over our heads。
It was an infinitely miserable time。 It was lucky that some
tins of fine preserves were stowed in a locker in my stateroom；
hard bread I could always get hold of； and so he lived on stewed
chicken； PATE DE FOIE GRAS； asparagus； cooked oysters； sardines
on all sorts of abominable sham delicacies out of tins。
My early…morning coffee he always drank； and it was all I
dared do for him in that respect。
Every day there was the horrible maneuvering to go through so that my room
and then the bathroom should be done in the usual way。 I came to hate
the sight of the steward； to abhor the voice of that harmless man。
I felt that it was he who would bring on the disaster of discovery。
It hung like a sword over our heads。
The fourth day out； I think （we were then working down the east side
of the Gulf of Siam； tack for tack； in light winds and smooth water）
the fourth day； I say； of this miserable juggling with the unavoidable；
as we sat at our evening meal； that man； whose slightest movement
I dreaded； after putting down the dishes ran up on deck busily。
This could not be dangerous。 Presently he came down again；
and then it appeared that he had remembered a coat of mine
which I had thrown over a rail to dry after having been wetted
in a shower which had passed over the ship in the afternoon。
Sitting stolidly at the head of the table I became terrified at
the sight of the garment on his arm。 Of course he made for my door。
There was no time to lose。
〃Steward；〃 I thundered。 My nerves were so shaken that I
could not govern my voice and conceal my agitation。
This was the sort of thing that made my terrifically
whiskered mate tap his forehead with his forefinger。
I had detected him using that gesture while talking on deck
with a confidential air to the carpenter。 It was too far
to hear a word； but I had no doubt that this pantomime could
only refer to the strange new captain。
〃Yes； sir；〃 the pale…faced steward turned resignedly to me。
It was this maddening course of being shouted at； checked without
rhyme or reason； arbitrarily chased out of my cabin； suddenly called
into it； sent flying out of his pantry on incomprehensible errands；
that accounted for the growing wretchedness of his expression。
〃Where are you going with that coat？〃
〃To your room； sir。〃
〃Is there another shower coming？〃
〃I'm sure I don't know； sir。 Shall I go up again and see； sir？〃
〃No！ never mind。〃
My object was attained； as of course my other self in there would have heard
everything that passed。 During this interlude my two officers never raised
their eyes off their respective plates； but the lip of that confounded cub；
the second mate； quivered visibly。
I expected the steward to hook my coat on and come out at once。
He was very slow about it； but I dominated my nervousness
sufficiently not to shout after him。 Suddenly I became aware
（it could be heard plainly enough） that the fellow for some reason
or other was opening the door of the bathroom。 It was the end。
The place was literally not big enough to swing a cat in。
My voice died in my throat and I went stony all over。
I expected to hear a yell of surprise and terror； and made
a movement； but had not the strength to get on my legs。
Everything remained still。 Had my second self taken the poor
wretch by the throat？ I don't know what I could have done
next moment if I had not seen the steward come out of my room；
close the door； and then stand quietly by the sideboard。
〃Saved；〃 I thought。 〃But； no！ Lost！ Gone！ He was gone！〃
I laid my knife and fork down and leaned back in my chair。 My head swam。
After a while； when sufficiently recovered to speak in a steady voice；
I instructed my mate to put the ship round at eight o'clock himself。
〃I won't come on deck；〃 I went on。 〃I think I'll turn in； and unless
the wind shifts I don't want to be disturbed before midnight。
I feel a bit seedy。〃
〃You did look middling bad a little while ago；〃 the chief mate remarked
without showing any great concern。
They both went out； and I stared at the steward clearing the table。
There was nothing to be read on that wretched man's face。
But why did he avoid my eyes； I asked myself。 Then I thought I
should like to hear the sound of his voice。
〃Steward！〃
〃Sir！〃 Startled as usual。
〃Where did you hang up that coat？〃
〃In the bathroom； sir。〃 The usual anxious tone。
〃It's not quite dry yet； sir。〃
For some time longer I sat in the cuddy。 Had my double vanished
as he had come？ But of his coming there was an explanation；
whereas his disappearance would be inexplicable。 。 。 。 I went
slowly into my dark room； shut the door； lighted the lamp；
and for a time dared not turn round。 When at last I did I
saw him standing bolt…upright in the narrow recessed part。
It would not be true to say I had a shock； but an irresistible
doubt of his bodily existence flitted through my mind。
Can it be； I asked myself； that he is not visible to other eyes
than mine？ It was like being haunted。 Motionless； with a
grave face； he raised his hands slightly at me in a gesture
which meant clearly； 〃Heavens！ what a narrow escape！〃
Narrow indeed。 I think I had come creeping quietly as near
insanity as any man who has not actually gone over the border。
That gesture restrained me； so to speak。
The mate with the terrific whiskers was now putting the ship
on the other tack。 In the moment of profound silence
which follows upon the hands going to their stations I heard
on the poop his raised voice： 〃Hard alee！〃 and the distant
shout of the order repeated on the main…deck。 The sails；
in that light breeze； made but a faint fluttering noise。
It ceased。 The ship was coming round slowly： I held my breath
in the renewed stillness of expectation； one wouldn't have
thought that there was a single living soul on her decks。
A sudden brisk shout； 〃Mainsail haul！〃 broke the spell；
and in the noisy cries and rush overhead of the men running away
with the main brace we two； down in my cabin； came together
in our usual position by the bed place。
He did not wait for my question。 〃I heard him fumbling here and just
managed to squat myself down in the bath；〃 he whispered to me。
〃The fellow only opened the door and put his arm in to hang the coat up。
All the same〃
〃I never thought of that；〃 I whispered back； even more appalled
than before at the closeness of the shave； and marveling at
that something unyielding in his character which was carrying
him through so finely。 There was no agitation in his whisper。
Whoever was being driven distracted； it was not he。 He was sane。
And the proof of his sanity was continued when he took up
the whispering again。
〃It would never do for me to come to life again。〃
It was something that a ghost might have said。 But what he was alluding
to was his old captain's reluctant admission of the theory of suicide。
It would obviously serve his turnif I had understood at all the view
which seemed to govern the unalterable purpose of his action。
〃You must maroon me as soon as ever you can get amongst these islands
off the Cambodge shore；〃 he went on。
〃Maroon you！ We are not living in a boy's adventure tale；〃 I protested。