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sketched it out in his head：
SPEECH 。 。 。 。 BY TOAD。
（There will be other speeches by TOAD during the evening。）
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ADDRESS 。 。 。 BY TOAD
SYNOPSISOur Prison Systemthe Waterways of Old England
Horse… dealing； and how to dealProperty； its rights and its duties Back
to the LandA Typical English Squire。
SONG 。 。 。 。 BY TOAD。 （Composed by himself。） OTHER
COMPOSITIONS 。 BY TOAD
will be sung in the course of the evening by the 。 。 。 COMPOSER。
The idea pleased him mightly； and he worked very hard and got all
the letters finished by noon； at which hour it was reported to him that there
was a small and rather bedraggled weasel at the door； inquiring timidly
whether he could be of any service to the gentlemen。 Toad swaggered out
and found it was one of the prisoners of the previous evening； very
respectful and anxious to please。 He patted him on the head； shoved the
bundle of invitations into his paw； and told him to cut along quick and
deliver them as fast as he could； and if he liked to come back again in the
evening； perhaps there might be a shilling for him； or； again； perhaps there
mightn't； and the poor weasel seemed really quite grateful； and hurried off
eagerly to do his mission。
When the other animals came back to luncheon； very boisterous and
breezy after a morning on the river； the Mole； whose conscience had been
pricking him； looked doubtfully at Toad； expecting to find him sulky or
depressed。 Instead； he was so uppish and inflated that the Mole began to
suspect something； while the Rat and the Badger exchanged significant
glances。
As soon as the meal was over； Toad thrust his paws deep into his
trouser…pockets； remarked casually； ‘Well； look after yourselves； you
fellows！ Ask for anything you want！' and was swaggering off in the
direction of the garden； where he wanted to think out an idea or two for his
coming speeches； when the Rat caught him by the arm。
Toad rather suspected what he was after； and did his best to get away；
but when the Badger took him firmly by the other arm he began to see that
the game was up。 The two animals conducted him between them into the
small smoking…room that opened out of the entrance…hall； shut the door；
and put him into a chair。 Then they both stood in front of him； while Toad
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sat silent and regarded them with much suspicion and ill…humour。
‘Now； look here； Toad；' said the Rat。 ‘It's about this Banquet； and very
sorry I am to have to speak to you like this。 But we want you to
understand clearly； once and for all； that there are going to be no speeches
and no songs。 Try and grasp the fact that on this occasion we're not
arguing with you； we're just telling you。'
Toad saw that he was trapped。 They understood him； they saw through
him； they had got ahead of him。 His pleasant dream was shattered。
‘Mayn't I sing them just one LITTLE song？' he pleaded piteously。
‘No； not ONE little song；' replied the Rat firmly； though his heart bled
as he noticed the trembling lip of the poor disappointed Toad。 ‘It's no good；
Toady； you know well that your songs are all conceit and boasting and
vanity； and your speeches are all self…praise andandwell； and gross
exaggeration and and'
‘And gas；' put in the Badger； in his common way。
‘It's for your own good； Toady；' went on the Rat。 ‘You know you
MUST turn over a new leaf sooner or later； and now seems a splendid time
to begin； a sort of turning…point in your career。 Please don't think that
saying all this doesn't hurt me more than it hurts you。'
Toad remained a long while plunged in thought。 At last he raised his
head； and the traces of strong emotion were visible on his features。 ‘You
have conquered； my friends；' he said in broken accents。 ‘It was； to be sure；
but a small thing that I asked merely leave to blossom and expand for yet
one more evening； to let myself go and hear the tumultuous applause that
always seems to mesomehowto bring out my best qualities。 However；
you are right； I know； and I am wrong。 Hence forth I will be a very
different Toad。 My friends； you shall never have occasion to blush for me
again。 But； O dear； O dear； this is a hard world！'
And； pressing his handkerchief to his face； he left the room； with
faltering footsteps。
‘Badger；' said the Rat； ‘_I_ feel like a brute； I wonder what YOU feel
like？'
‘O； I know； I know；' said the Badger gloomily。 ‘But the thing had to be
done。 This good fellow has got to live here； and hold his own； and be
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respected。 Would you have him a common laughing… stock； mocked and
jeered at by stoats and weasels？'
‘Of course not；' said the Rat。 ‘And； talking of weasels； it's lucky we
came upon that little weasel； just as he was setting out with Toad's
invitations。 I suspected something from what you told me； and had a look
at one or two； they were simply disgraceful。 I confiscated the lot； and the
good Mole is now sitting in the blue boudoir； filling up plain； simple
invitation cards。'
* * * * *
At last the hour for the banquet began to draw near； and Toad； who on
leaving the others had retired to his bedroom； was still sitting there；
melancholy and thoughtful。 His brow resting on his paw； he pondered long
and deeply。 Gradually his countenance cleared； and he began to smile long；
slow smiles。 Then he took to giggling in a shy； self…conscious manner。 At
last he got up； locked the door； drew the curtains across the windows；
collected all the chairs in the room and arranged them in a semicircle； and
took up his position in front of them； swelling visibly。 Then he bowed；
coughed twice； and； letting himself go； with uplifted voice he sang； to the
enraptured audience that his imagination so clearly saw；
TOAD'S LAST LITTLE SONG！
The Toadcamehome！ There was panic in the parlours and bowling
in the halls； There was crying in the cow…sheds and shrieking in the stalls；
When the Toadcamehome！
When the Toadcamehome！ There was smashing in of window and
crashing in of door； There was chivvying of weasels that fainted on the
floor； When the Toadcamehome！
Bang！ go the drums！ The trumpeters are tooting and the soldiers are
saluting； And the cannon they are shooting and the motor…cars are hooting；
As theHerocomes！
ShoutHoo…ray！ And let each one of the crowd try and shout it very
loud； In honour of an animal of whom you're justly proud； For it's Toad's
greatday！
He sang this very loud； with great unction and expression； and when
he had done； he sang it all over again。
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Then he heaved a deep sigh； a long； long； long sigh。
Then he dipped his hairbrush in the water…jug； parted his hair in the
middle； and plaste