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his voice； though there was no one to hear it but him。 It was perhaps the
most conceited song that any animal ever composed。
‘The world has held great Heroes； As history…books have showed；
But never a name to go down to fame Compared with that of Toad！
‘The clever men at Oxford Know all that there is to be knowed。 But
they none of them know one half as much As intelligent Mr。 Toad！
‘The animals sat in the Ark and cried； Their tears in torrents flowed。
Who was it said； 〃There's land ahead？〃 Encouraging Mr。 Toad！
‘The army all saluted As they marched along the road。 Was it the
King？ Or Kitchener？ No。 It was Mr。 Toad。
‘The Queen and her Ladies…in…waiting Sat at the window and sewed。
She cried； 〃Look！ who's that HANDSOME man？〃 They answered； 〃Mr。
Toad。〃'
There was a great deal more of the same sort； but too dreadfully
conceited to be written down。 These are some of the milder verses。
He sang as he walked； and he walked as he sang； and got more inflated
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every minute。 But his pride was shortly to have a severe fall。
After some miles of country lanes he reached the high road； and as he
turned into it and glanced along its white length； he saw approaching him
a speck that turned into a dot and then into a blob； and then into something
very familiar； and a double note of warning； only too well known； fell on
his delighted ear。
‘This is something like！' said the excited Toad。 ‘This is real life again；
this is once more the great world from which I have been missed so long！ I
will hail them； my brothers of the wheel； and pitch them a yarn； of the sort
that has been so successful hitherto； and they will give me a lift； of course；
and then I will talk to them some more； and； perhaps； with luck； it may
even end in my driving up to Toad Hall in a motor…car！ That will be one in
the eye for Badger！'
He stepped confidently out into the road to hail the motor… car； which
came along at an easy pace； slowing down as it neared the lane； when
suddenly he became very pale； his heart turned to water； his knees shook
and yielded under him； and he doubled up and collapsed with a sickening
pain in his interior。 And well he might； the unhappy animal； for the
approaching car was the very one he had stolen out of the yard of the Red
Lion Hotel on that fatal day when all his troubles began！ And the people in
it were the very same people he had sat and watched at luncheon in the
coffee…room！
He sank down in a shabby； miserable heap in the road； murmuring to
himself in his despair； ‘It's all up！ It's all over now！ Chains and policemen
again！ Prison again！ Dry bread and water again！ O； what a fool I have
been！ What did I want to go strutting about the country for； singing
conceited songs； and hailing people in broad day on the high road； instead
of hiding till nightfall and slipping home quietly by back ways！ O hapless
Toad！ O ill…fated animal！'
The terrible motor…car drew slowly nearer and nearer； till at last he
heard it stop just short of him。 Two gentlemen got out and walked round
the trembling heap of crumpled misery lying in the road； and one of them
said； ‘O dear！ this is very sad！ Here is a poor old thinga washerwoman
apparentlywho has fainted in the road！ Perhaps she is overcome by the
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heat； poor creature； or possibly she has not had any food to…day。 Let us lift
her into the car and take her to the nearest village； where doubtless she has
friends。'
They tenderly lifted Toad into the motor…car and propped him up with
soft cushions； and proceeded on their way。
When Toad heard them talk in so kind and sympathetic a way； and
knew that he was not recognised； his courage began to revive； and he
cautiously opened first one eye and then the other。
‘Look！' said one of the gentlemen； ‘she is better already。 The fresh air
is doing her good。 How do you feel now； ma'am？'
‘Thank you kindly； Sir；' said Toad in a feeble voice； ‘I'm feeling a great
deal better！' ‘That's right；' said the gentleman。 ‘Now keep quite still； and；
above all； don't try to talk。'
‘I won't；' said Toad。 ‘I was only thinking； if I might sit on the front seat
there； beside the driver； where I could get the fresh air full in my face； I
should soon be all right again。'
‘What a very sensible woman！' said the gentleman。 ‘Of course you
shall。' So they carefully helped Toad into the front seat beside the driver；
and on they went again。
Toad was almost himself again by now。 He sat up； looked about him；
and tried to beat down the tremors； the yearnings； the old cravings that
rose up and beset him and took possession of him entirely。
‘It is fate！' he said to himself。 ‘Why strive？ why struggle？' and he
turned to the driver at his side。
‘Please； Sir；' he said； ‘I wish you would kindly let me try and drive the
car for a little。 I've been watching you carefully； and it looks so easy and
so interesting； and I should like to be able to tell my friends that once I had
driven a motor…car！'
The driver laughed at the proposal； so heartily that the gentleman
inquired what the matter was。 When he heard； he said； to Toad's delight；
‘Bravo； ma'am！ I like your spirit。 Let her have a try； and look after her。 She
won't do any harm。'
Toad eagerly scrambled into the seat vacated by the driver； took the
steering…wheel in his hands； listened with affected humility to the
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instructions given him； and set the car in motion； but very slowly and
carefully at first； for he was determined to be prudent。
The gentlemen behind clapped their hands and applauded； and Toad
heard them saying； ‘How well she does it！ Fancy a washerwoman driving
a car as well as that； the first time！'
Toad went a little faster； then faster still； and faster。
He heard the gentlemen call out warningly； ‘Be careful；
washerwoman！' And this annoyed him； and he began to lose his head。
The driver tried to interfere； but he pinned him down in his seat with
one elbow； and put on full speed。 The rush of air in his face； the hum of
the engines； and the light jump of the car beneath him intoxicated his weak
brain。 ‘Washerwoman； indeed！' he shouted recklessly。 ‘Ho！ ho！ I am the
Toad； the motor…car snatcher； the prison…breaker； the Toad who always
escapes！ Sit still； and you shall know what driving really is； for you are in
the hands of the famous； the skilful； the entirely fearless Toad！'
With a cry of horror the whole party rose and flung themselves on him。
‘Seize him！' they cried； ‘seize the Toad； the wicked animal who stole our
motor…car！ Bind him； chain him； drag him to the nearest police…station！
Down with the desperate and dangerous Toad！'
Alas！ they should have thought； they ought to have been more prudent；
they should have remembered to stop the motor…car somehow before
playing any pranks of that sort。 With a half…turn of the wheel the Toad sent
the car crashing through the lo