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bad him to the two Asses therewith； which commonly carried home all
the wood； and so drive them to the Monasterie before him； which
Massetto knew well enough how to do； and performed it very
effectually。
Many other servile Offices were there to bee done； which caused
the Fac…totum to make use of his paines divers other dayes beside；
in which time； the Lady Abbesse chancing to see him； demanded of the
Factotum what he was？ Madani （quoth hee） a poore labouring man； who is
both deafe and dumbe； hither he came to crave an almes the other
day； the which in charity I could do no lesse but give him； for which；
hee hath done many honest services about the house。 It seemes
beside； that hee hath pretty skill in Gardening； so that if I can
perswade him to continue here； I make no question of his able
services： for the old silly man is gon； and we have need of such a
stout fellow； to do the busines belonging to the Monastery； and one
fitter for the turne； comes sildome hither。 Moreover； in regard of his
double imperfections； the Sisters can sustaine no impeachment by
him。 Whereto the Abbesse answered； saying； By the faith of my body；
you speake but the truth： understand then； if hee have any knowledge
in Gardening； and whether hee will dwell heere； or no： which
compasse so kindly as you can。 Let him have a new paire of shoes； fill
his belly daily full of meate； flatter； and make much of him； for
wee shall finde him worke enough to do。 All which； the Fac…totum
promised to fulfill sufficiently。
Massetto； who was not far off from them all this while； but seemed
seriously busied about sweeping and making cleane the Court； heard all
these speeches； and being not a little joyfull of them； said to
himselfe。 If once I come to worke in your Garden； let the proofe yeeld
praise of my skill and knowledge。 When the Fac…totum perceived； that
he knew perfectly how to undergo his businesse； and had questioned him
by signes； concerning his willingnesse to serve there still； and
received the like answere also； of his dutifull readinesse thereto； he
gave him order to worke in the Garden； because the season did now
require it； and to leave all other affayres for the Monastery；
attending now onely the Gardens preparation。
As Massetto was thus about his Garden emploiment； the Nunnes began
to resort thither； and thinking the man to be dumbe and deafe indeede；
were the more lavish of their language； mocking and flowting him
very immodestly； as being perswaded； that he heard them not。 And the
Lady Abbesse； thinking he might as well be an Eunuch； as deprived both
of hearing and speaking； stood the lesse in feare of the Sisters
walkes； but referred them to their owne care and providence。 On a day；
Massetto having laboured somewhat extraordinarily； lay downe to rest
himselfe awhile under the trees； and two delicate yong Nunnes； walking
there to take the aire； drew neere to the place where he dissembled
sleeping； and both of them observing his comelinesse of person；
began to pitty the poverty of his condition； but much more the
misery of his great defectes。 Then one of them； who had a little
livelier spirit then the other； thinking Massetto to be fast
asleepe； began in this manner。
Sister （quoth she） if I were faithfully assured of thy secrecie； I
would tell thee a thing which I have often thought on； and it may
（perhaps） redound to thy profit。 Sister； replyed the other Nun； speake
your minde boldly； and beleeve it （on my Maidenhead） that I will never
reveale it to any creature living。 Encouraged by this solemne answere；
the first Nun thus prosecuted her former purpose； saying。 I know not
Sister； whether it hath entred into thine understanding or no；
strictly we are here kept and attended； never any man daring to
adventure among us； except our good and bonest Fac…totum； who is
very aged； and this dumbe fellow； maimed； and made imperfect by
nature； and therefore not worthy the title of a man。 Ah Sister； it
hath oftentimes bin told me； by Gentlewomen comming hither to visite
us； that all other sweetes in the world； are mockeries； to the
incomparable pleasures of man and woman； of which we are barred by our
unkind parents； binding us to perpetuall chastity； which they were
never able to observe themselves。
A Sister of this house once told me； that before her turne came to
be sent to the Soldane； she fell in frailty with a man that was both
lame and blinde； and discovering the same to her Ghostly Father in
confession； he absolved her of that sinne； affirming； that she had not
transgressed with a man； because he wanted his rationall and
understanding parts。 Behold Sister； heere lyes a creature； almost
formed in the self…same mold； dumbe and deafe； which are two the
most rationall and understanding parts that do belong to any man；
and therefore no Man； wanting them。 If folly and frailty would be
committed with him （as many times since hee came hither it hath run in
my minde） hee is by Nature； sworne to such secrecie； that he cannot
（if he would） be a blabbe thereof。 Beside； the Lawes and
constitution of our Religion doth teach us； that a sinne so
assuredly concealed； is more then halfe absolved。
Ave Maria Sister （saide the other Nun） what kinde of words are these
you utter？ Doe not you know； that we have promised our virginity to
God？ Oh Sister （answered the other） how many things are promised to
him every day； and not one of a thousand kept or performed？ If wee
have made him such a promise； and some of our weakerwitted sisters
do performe it for us； no doubt but he will accept it in part of
payment。 Yea but Sister； replied the second Nun againe； there is
another danger lying in the way： If we prove to be with childe； how
shall we doe then？ Sister （quoth our couragious wench） thou art
affraide of harme before it happen： if it come so to passe； let us
consider on it then： thou art but a Novice in matters of such
moment； we are provided of a thousand meanes； whereby to prevent
conception。 Or； if they should faile； we are so surely fitted； that
the world shall never know it。 Let it suffice； our lives must not be
by any so much as suspected； our Monastery questioned； or our Religion
rashly scandalized。 Thus shee schooled her younger Sister in wit；
albeit as forward as shee in will； and longed as desirouslie； to
know what kinde of creature man was。
After some other questions； how this intention of theirs might bee
safely brought to full effect： the sprightly Nun that had wit at will；
thus answered。 You see Sister （quoth she） it is now the houre of
midday； when all the rest of our sisterhood are quiet in their
Chambers； because we are then allowed to sleep； for our earlier rising
to morning Mattins。 Here are none in the Garden now but our selves；
and while I awake him； bee you the watch； and afterward follow mee
in my fortune； for I will valiantly leade you the way。 Massetto
immitating a Dogges sleepe； heard all this conspiracie intended
against him； and longed as earnestly till shee came to awake him。
Which being done； he seeming very simple and sottish； and she chearing
him with flattering behaviour： into the close Arbour they went；
which the Sunnes bright eye could not pierce into； and there I leave
it to the Nunnes owne approbation； whether Massetto was a man
rationall； or no。 Ill deeds require longer time to contrive； then act；
and both the Nuns having bene with Massetto at this new forme of
confession； were enjoyned （by him） such an easie and silent penance；
as brought them the oftner to shrift； and made him to proove a very
perfect Confessour。
Desires obtayned； but not fully satisfied； doe commonly urge more
frequent accesse； then wisedome thinkes expedient； or can continue
without discovery。 Our two joviall Nunnes； not a little proud of their
private stolne pleasures； so long resorted to the close Arbour； till
another Sister； who had often observed their haunt thither； by
meanes of a little hole in her Window； that shee began to suspect them
with Massetto； and imparted the same to two other Sisters； all three
concluding； to accuse them before the Lady Abbesse。 But upon a further
conference had with the Offenders； they changed opinion； tooke