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that； good woman； quoth he； but beleeve it certainly； that I will have
such a care in this case； as your Husband shall never speake thereof
to you。 If you can doe so Sir； sayde she； proceed I pray you； and I am
well contented。
Confession being thus ended； and she receiving such pennance as
hee appointed； she arose on her feete； and went to heare Masse；
while our jealous Woodcocke （testily puffing and blowing） put off
his Religious habite； returning home presently to his house； beating
his braines al the way as he went； what meanes he might best devise；
for the taking of his wife and the Friar together； whereby to have
them both severely punished。 His wife being come home from the
Chappell； discerned by her Husbands lookes； that he was like to
keepe but a sory Christmasse： yet he used his utmost industry； to
conceale what he had done； and which she knew as well as himself。
And he having fully resolved； to watch his own street doore the next
night ensuing in person； in expectation of the Friars comming； saide
to his Wife。 I have occasion both to suppe and lodge out of my house
this night； wherefore see you the streete doore to be surely made fast
on the inside； and the doore at the middest of the staires； as also
your own Chamber doore； and then （in Gods name） get you to bed。
Whereto she answered； that all should be done as hee had appointed。
Afterward； when she saw convenient time； she went to the chink in
the Wall； and making such a signe as shee was woont to doe：
Phillippo came thither； to whom she declared all her mornings
affayres； and what directions her husband had given her。 Furthermore
she saide； certaine I am； that he will not depart from the house；
but sit and watch the doore without； to take one that comes not heere。
If therefore； you can climbe over the house top； and get in at our
gutter Window； you and I may conferre more familiarly together。 The
young Gentleman being no dullard； had his lesson quickly taught him；
and when night was come； Geloso （for so must wee tearme the
Cocke…braind husband） armes himselfe at all points； with a browne Bill
in his hand； and so he sits to watch his owne doore。 His Wife had made
fast all the doores； especially that on the midst of the stayres；
because he should not （by any means） come to her Chamber； and so； when
the houre served； the Gentleman adventured over the house top； found
the gutter Window； and the way conducting him to her Chamber； where
I leave them to their further amorous conference。
Geloso； more than halfe mad with anger； first； because hee had
lost his supper： next； having sitten almost all the night （which was
extreamely cold and windle） his Armor much mollesting him； and yet
he could see no Friar come： when day drew neere； and hee ashamed to
watch there any longer； conveighed himselfe to some more convenient
place； where putting off his Armes； and seeming to come from the place
of his Lodging； about the ninth houre； he found his doore open； entred
in； and went up the stayres； going to dinner with his Wife。 Within a
while after； according as Geloso had ordred the businesse； a youth
came thither； seeming to be the Novice sent from the Confessor； and he
being admitted to speake with her； demanded； whether shee were
troubled or mollested that night passed； as formerly she had bin；
and whether the partie came or no？ The Woman； who knew well enough the
Messenger （notwithstanding all his formall disguise） made answer： That
the party expected； came not： but if hee had come； it was to no
purpose； because her minde was now otherwise altred； albeit she
changed not a jote from her amorous conclusion。
What should I now further say unto you？ Geloso continued his watch
many nights afterward； as hoping to surprize the Friar at his
entrance； and his wife kept still her contented quarter； according
as opportunitie served。 In the conclusion； Geloso beeing no longer
able to endire his bootlesse watching； nor some （more then ordinary）
pleasing countenance in his wife： one day demaunded of her （with a
very stearne and frowning brow） what secret sinnes shee had revealed
to the ghostly Father； upon the day of her shrift？ The Woman
replyed； that she would not tell him； neyther was it a matter
reasonable； or lawfull for her to doe。 Wicked Woman； answered
Geloso： I knowe them all well enough； even in despight of thee； and
every word that thou spakest unto him。 But Huswife； now I must further
know； what the Fryar is； with whom you are so farre in love； and （by
meanes of his enchantments） lyeth with you every night； tell me what
and who he is； or else I meane to cut your throate。
The Woman immediately made answer； it was not true； that she was
in love with any Fryar。 How？ quoth Geloso； didst not thou confesse
so much to the Ghostly Father； the other day when thou wast at shrift？
No Sir； sayde she； but if I did； I am sure he would not disclose it to
you； except hee suffered you to bee there present； which is an Article
beyonde his dutie。 But if it were so； then I confesse freely； that I
did say so unto him。 Make an end then quickely Wife （quoth Geloso） and
tell mee who the Friar is。 The Woman fell into a hearty laughter；
saying。 It liketh me singularly well； when a wise man will suffer
himselfe to be ledde by a simple Woman； even as a Sheepe is to the
slaughter； and by the hornes。 If once thou wast wise； that wisedome
became utterly lost； when thou felst into that divellish frensie of
jealousie； without knowing anie reason for it： for； by this
beastlike and no manly humor； thou hast eclipsed no meane part of my
glory； and womanly reputation。
Doest thou imagine Husband； that if I were so blinded in the eyes of
my head； as thou art in them which should informe thine understanding；
I could have found out the Priest； that would needs bee my
Confessor？ I knew thee Husband to be the man； and therefore I prepared
my wit accordingly； to fit thee with the foolish imagination which
thou soughtest for； and （indeed） gave it thee。 For； if thou hadst
beene wise； as thou makest the world to beleeve by outward
apparance； thou wouldest never have expressed such a basenesse of
minde； to borrow the coulour of a sanctified cloake； thereby to
undermine the secrets of thine honest meaning Wife。 Wherefore； to
feede thee in thy fond suspition； I was the more free in my
Confession； and tolde thee truely； with whom； and how heinously I
had transgressed。 Did I not tell thee； that I loved a Fryar？ And art
not thou he whom love； being a Fryar； and my ghostly Father； though
（to thine owne shame） thou madst thy selfe so？ I said moreover； that
there is not any doore in our house； that can keepe it selfe shut
against him； but （when he pleaseth） he comes and lies with me。 Now
tell me Husband； What doore in our house hath （at any time） bin shut
against thee； but they are freely thine owne； and grant thee entrance？
Thou art the same Friar that confest me； and lieth every night with
me； and so often as thou sentst thy yong Novice or Clearke to me； as
often did I truly returne thee word； when the same Fryar lay with
me。 But （by jealousie） thou hast so lost thine understanding； that
thou wilt hardly beleeve all this。
Alas good man； like an armed Watchman； thou satst at thine owne
doore all a cold Winters night； perswading mee （poorelly credulous
woman） that； upon urgent occasions； thou must needs suppe and lodge
from home。 Remember thy selfe therefore better heereafter； become a
true understanding man； as thou shouldst bee； and make not thy selfe a
mocking stocke to them； who knoweth thy jealous qualities； as well
as I do； and be not so watchfull over me； as thou art。 For I sweare by
my true honesty； that if I were but as willing； as thou art
suspitious： I could deceive thee； if thou hadst an hundred eyes； as
Nature affords thee but two； and have my pleasures freely； yet thou be
not a jot the wiser； or my credit any way impaired。
Our wonderfull wise Geloso； who （very advisedly） considred that he
had wholly heard his wives secret confession； and dreamed now on no
other doubt beside； but （perceiving by her speeches） how hee was
become a scorne to al men： without returning other answer； confirmed
his wife