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chest； the head； the limbs； she had vomitings； in which Charles
thought he saw the first signs of cancer。
And besides this； the poor fellow was worried about money
matters。
Chapter Fourteen
To begin with； he did not know how he could pay Monsieur Homais
for all the physic supplied by him； and though； as a medical man；
he was not obliged to pay for it； he nevertheless blushed a
little at such an obligation。 Then the expenses of the household；
now that the servant was mistress； became terrible。 Bills rained
in upon the house； the tradesmen grumbled； Monsieur Lheureux
especially harassed him。 In fact； at the height of Emma's
illness； the latter； taking advantage of the circumstances to
make his bill larger； had hurriedly brought the cloak； the
travelling…bag； two trunks instead of one； and a number of other
things。 It was very well for Charles to say he did not want them。
The tradesman answered arrogantly that these articles had been
ordered； and that he would not take them back； besides； it would
vex madame in her convalescence； the doctor had better think it
over； in short； he was resolved to sue him rather than give up
his rights and take back his goods。 Charles subsequently ordered
them to be sent back to the shop。 Felicite forgot； he had other
things to attend to； then thought no more about them。 Monsieur
Lheureux returned to the charge； and； by turns threatening and
whining； so managed that Bovary ended by signing a bill at six
months。 But hardly had he signed this bill than a bold idea
occurred to him： it was to borrow a thousand francs from
Lheureux。 So； with an embarrassed air； he asked if it were
possible to get them； adding that it would be for a year； at any
interest he wished。 Lheureux ran off to his shop； brought back
the money； and dictated another bill； by which Bovary undertook
to pay to his order on the 1st of September next the sum of one
thousand and seventy francs； which； with the hundred and eighty
already agreed to； made just twelve hundred and fifty； thus
lending at six per cent in addition to one…fourth for commission：
and the things bringing him in a good third at the least； this
ought in twelve months to give him a profit of a hundred and
thirty francs。 He hoped that the business would not stop there；
that the bills would not be paid； that they would be renewed； and
that his poor little money； having thriven at the doctor's as at
a hospital； would come back to him one day considerably more
plump； and fat enough to burst his bag。
Everything； moreover； succeeded with him。 He was adjudicator for
a supply of cider to the hospital at Neufchatel； Monsieur
Guillaumin promised him some shares in the turf…pits of
Gaumesnil； and he dreamt of establishing a new diligence service
between Arcueil and Rouen； which no doubt would not be long in
ruining the ramshackle van of the 〃Lion d'Or；〃 and that；
travelling faster； at a cheaper rate； and carrying more luggage；
would thus put into his hands the whole commerce of Yonville。
Charles several times asked himself by what means he should next
year be able to pay back so much money。 He reflected； imagined
expedients； such as applying to his father or selling something。
But his father would be deaf； and hehe had nothing to sell。
Then he foresaw such worries that he quickly dismissed so
disagreeable a subject of meditation from his mind。 He reproached
himself with forgetting Emma； as if； all his thoughts belonging
to this woman； it was robbing her of something not to be
constantly thinking of her。
The winter was severe； Madame Bovary's convalescence slow。 When
it was fine they wheeled her arm…chair to the window that
overlooked the square； for she now had an antipathy to the
garden； and the blinds on that side were always down。 She wished
the horse to be sold； what she formerly liked now displeased her。
All her ideas seemed to be limited to the care of herself。 She
stayed in bed taking little meals； rang for the servant to
inquire about her gruel or to chat with her。 The snow on the
market…roof threw a white； still light into the room； then the
rain began to fall； and Emma waited daily with a mind full of
eagerness for the inevitable return of some trifling events which
nevertheless had no relation to her。 The most important was the
arrival of the 〃Hirondelle〃 in the evening。 Then the landlady
shouted out； and other voices answered； while Hippolyte's
lantern； as he fetched the boxes from the boot； was like a star
in the darkness。 At mid…day Charles came in； then he went out
again； next she took some beef…tea； and towards five o'clock； as
the day drew in； the children coming back from school； dragging
their wooden shoes along the pavement； knocked the clapper of the
shutters with their rulers one after the other。
It was at this hour that Monsieur Bournisien came to see her。 He
inquired after her health； gave her news； exhorted her to
religion； in a coaxing little prattle that was not without its
charm。 The mere thought of his cassock comforted her。
One day； when at the height of her illness； she had thought
herself dying； and had asked for the communion； and； while they
were making the preparations in her room for the sacrament； while
they were turning the night table covered with syrups into an
altar； and while Felicite was strewing dahlia flowers on the
floor； Emma felt some power passing over her that freed her from
her pains； from all perception； from all feeling。 Her body；
relieved； no longer thought； another life was beginning； it
seemed to her that her being； mounting toward God； would be
annihilated in that love like a burning incense that melts into
vapour。 The bed…clothes were sprinkled with holy water； the
priest drew from the holy pyx the white wafer； and it was
fainting with a celestial joy that she put out her lips to accept
the body of the Saviour presented to her。 The curtains of the
alcove floated gently round her like clouds； and the rays of the
two tapers burning on the night…table seemed to shine like
dazzling halos。 Then she let her head fall back； fancying she
heard in space the music of seraphic harps； and perceived in an
azure sky； on a golden throne in the midst of saints holding
green palms； God the Father； resplendent with majesty； who with a
sign sent to earth angels with wings of fire to carry her away in
their arms。
This splendid vision dwelt in her memory as the most beautiful
thing that it was possible to dream； so that now she strove to
recall her sensation。 That still lasted； however； but in a less
exclusive fashion and with a deeper sweetness。 Her soul； tortured
by pride； at length found rest in Christian humility； and；
tasting the joy of weakness； she saw within herself the
destruction of her will； that must have left a wide entrance for
the inroads of heavenly grace。 There existed； then； in the place
of happiness； still greater joysanother love beyond all loves；
without pause and without end； one that would grow eternally！ She
saw amid the illusions of her hope a state of purity floating
above the earth mingling with heaven； to which she aspired。 She
wanted to become a saint。 She bought chaplets and wore amulets；
she wished to have in her room； by the side of her bed； a
reliquary set in emeralds that she might kiss it every evening。
The cure marvelled at this humour； although Emma's religion； he
thought； might； from its fervour； end by touching on heresy；
extravagance。 But not being much versed in these matters； as soon
as they went beyond a certain limit he wrote to Monsieur Boulard；
bookseller to Monsignor； to send him 〃something good for a lady
who was very clever。〃 The bookseller； with as much indifference
as if he had been sending off hardware to niggers； packed up；
pellmell； everything that was then the fashion in the pious book
trade。 There were little manuals in questions and answers；
pamphlets of aggressive tone after the manner of Monsieur de
Maistre； and certain novels in rose…coloured bindings and with a
honied style； manufactured by troubadour seminarists or penitent
blue…stockings。 There were the 〃Think of it； the Man of the World
at Mary's Feet； by Monsieur de ***； decorated with many Orders〃；
〃The