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each other and lessened； as reduced to a uniform level of love
that equalised them all。 So taking handfuls of the mixed…up
letters； he amused himself for some moments with letting them
fall in cascades from his right into his left hand。 At last；
bored and weary； Rodolphe took back the box to the cupboard；
saying to himself； 〃What a lot of rubbish！〃 Which summed up his
opinion； for pleasures； like schoolboys in a school courtyard；
had so trampled upon his heart that no green thing grew there；
and that which passed through it； more heedless than children；
did not even； like them； leave a name carved upon the wall。
〃Come；〃 said he； 〃let's begin。〃
He wrote
〃Courage； Emma！ courage！ I would not bring misery into your
life。〃
〃After all； that's true；〃 thought Rodolphe。 〃I am acting in her
interest； I am honest。〃
〃Have you carefully weighed your resolution？ Do you know to what
an abyss I was dragging you； poor angel？ No； you do not； do you？
You were coming confident and fearless； believing in happiness in
the future。 Ah！ unhappy that we areinsensate！〃
Rodolphe stopped here to think of some good excuse。
〃If I told her all my fortune is lost？ No！ Besides； that would
stop nothing。 It would all have to be begun over again later on。
As if one could make women like that listen to reason！〃 He
reflected； then went on
〃I shall not forget you； oh believe it； and I shall ever have a
profound devotion for you； but some day； sooner or later； this
ardour （such is the fate of human things） would have grown less；
no doubt。 Lassitude would have come to us； and who knows if I
should not even have had the atrocious pain of witnessing your
remorse； of sharing it myself； since I should have been its
cause？ The mere idea of the grief that would come to you tortures
me； Emma。 Forget me！ Why did I ever know you？ Why were you so
beautiful？ Is it my fault？ O my God！ No； no！ Accuse only fate。〃
〃That's a word that always tells；〃 he said to himself。
〃Ah； if you had been one of those frivolous women that one sees；
certainly I might； through egotism； have tried an experiment； in
that case without danger for you。 But that delicious exaltation；
at once your charm and your torment； has prevented you from
understanding； adorable woman that you are； the falseness of our
future position。 Nor had I reflected upon this at first； and I
rested in the shade of that ideal happiness as beneath that of
the manchineel tree； without foreseeing the consequences。〃
〃Perhaps she'll think I'm giving it up from avarice。 Ah； well！ so
much the worse； it must be stopped！〃
〃The world is cruel； Emma。 Wherever we might have gone； it would
have persecuted us。 You would have had to put up with indiscreet
questions； calumny； contempt； insult perhaps。 Insult to you！ Oh！
And I； who would place you on a throne！ I who bear with me your
memory as a talisman！ For I am going to punish myself by exile
for all the ill I have done you。 I am going away。 Whither I know
not。 I am mad。 Adieu！ Be good always。 Preserve the memory of the
unfortunate who has lost you。 Teach my name to your child； let
her repeat it in her prayers。〃
The wicks of the candles flickered。 Rodolphe got up to； shut the
window； and when he had sat down again
〃I think it's all right。 Ah！ and this for fear she should come
and hunt me up。〃
〃I shall be far away when you read these sad lines； for I have
wished to flee as quickly as possible to shun the temptation of
seeing you again。 No weakness！ I shall return； and perhaps later
on we shall talk together very coldly of our old love。 Adieu！〃
And there was a last 〃adieu〃 divided into two words！ 〃A Dieu！〃
which he thought in very excellent taste。
〃Now how am I to sign？〃 he said to himself。 〃 'Yours devotedly？'
No！ 'Your friend？' Yes； that's it。〃
〃Your friend。〃
He re…read his letter。 He considered it very good。
〃Poor little woman！〃 he thought with emotion。 〃She'll think me
harder than a rock。 There ought to have been some tears on this；
but I can't cry； it isn't my fault。〃 Then； having emptied some
water into a glass； Rodolphe dipped his finger into it； and let a
big drop fall on the paper； that made a pale stain on the ink。
Then looking for a seal； he came upon the one 〃Amor nel cor。〃
〃That doesn't at all fit in with the circumstances。 Pshaw！ never
mind！〃
After which he smoked three pipes and went to bed。
The next day when he was up （at about two o'clockhe had slept
late）； Rodolphe had a basket of apricots picked。 He put his
letter at the bottom under some vine leaves； and at once ordered
Girard； his ploughman； to take it with care to Madame Bovary。 He
made use of this means for corresponding with her； sending
according to the season fruits or game。
〃If she asks after me；〃 he said； 〃you will tell her that I have
gone on a journey。 You must give the basket to her herself； into
her own hands。 Get along and take care！〃
Girard put on his new blouse； knotted his handkerchief round the
apricots； and walking with great heavy steps in his thick
iron…bound galoshes； made his way to Yonville。
Madame Bovary； when he got to her house； was arranging a bundle
of linen on the kitchen…table with Felicite。
〃Here；〃 said the ploughboy； 〃is something for youfrom the
master。〃
She was seized with apprehension； and as she sought in her pocket
for some coppers； she looked at the peasant with haggard eyes；
while he himself looked at her with amazement； not understanding
how such a present could so move anyone。 At last he went out。
Felicite remained。 She could bear it no longer； she ran into the
sitting room as if to take the apricots there； overturned the
basket； tore away the leaves； found the letter； opened it； and；
as if some fearful fire were behind her； Emma flew to her room
terrified。
Charles was there； she saw him； he spoke to her； she heard
nothing； and she went on quickly up the stairs； breathless；
distraught； dumb； and ever holding this horrible piece of paper；
that crackled between her fingers like a plate of sheet…iron。 On
the second floor she stopped before the attic door； which was
closed。
Then she tried to calm herself； she recalled the letter； she must
finish it； she did not dare to。 And where？ How？ She would be
seen！ 〃Ah； no！ here；〃 she thought； 〃I shall be all right。〃
Emma pushed open the door and went in。
The slates threw straight down a heavy heat that gripped her
temples； stifled her； she dragged herself to the closed
garret…window。 She drew back the bolt； and the dazzling light
burst in with a leap。
Opposite； beyond the roofs； stretched the open country till it
was lost to sight。 Down below； underneath her； the village square
was empty； the stones of the pavement glittered； the weathercocks
on the houses were motionless。 At the corner of the street； from
a lower storey； rose a kind of humming with strident modulations。
It was Binet turning。
She leant against the embrasure of the window； and reread the
letter with angry sneers。 But the more she fixed her attention
upon it； the more confused were her ideas。 She saw him again；
heard him； encircled him with her arms； and throbs of her heart；
that beat against her breast like blows of a sledge…hammer； grew
faster and faster； with uneven intervals。 She looked about her
with the wish that the earth might crumble into pieces。 Why not
end it all？ What restrained her？ She was free。 She advanced；
looking at the paving…stones； saying to herself； 〃Come！ come！〃
The luminous ray that came straight up from below drew the weight
of her body towards the abyss。 It seemed to her that the ground
of the oscillating square went up the walls and that the floor
dipped on end like a tossing boat。 She was right at the edge；
almost hanging； surrounded by vast space。 The blue of the heavens
suffused her； the air was whirling in her hollow head； she had
but to yield； to let herself be taken； and the humming of the
lathe never ceased； like an angry voice calling her。
〃Emma！ Emma！〃 cried Charles。
She stopped。
〃Wherever are you？ Come！〃
The thought that she had just escaped from death almost made her
faint with terror。 She closed her eyes； then she shivered at the
touch of a hand on her sleeve； it was Felicite。
〃Master is waiting for you； madame； t