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dram。 Queensferry Street lies something off the direct road
to Murrayfield。 But then there is the hilly cross…road that
passes by the valley of the Leith and the Dean Cemetery； and
Queensferry Street is on the way to that。 What was to hinder
the cabman； since his horse was dumb； from choosing the
cross…road； and calling on his friend in passing？ So it was
decided； and the charioteer； already somewhat mollified；
turned aside his horse to the right。
John； meanwhile； sat collapsed； his chin sunk upon his chest；
his mind in abeyance。 The smell of the cab was still faintly
present to his senses； and a certain leaden chill about his
feet； all else had disappeared in one vast oppression of
calamity and physical faintness。 It was drawing on to noon …
two…and…twenty hours since he had broken bread； in the
interval； he had suffered tortures of sorrow and alarm； and
been partly tipsy； and though it was impossible to say he
slept； yet when the cab stopped and the cabman thrust his
head into the window； his attention had to be recalled from
depths of vacancy。
'If you'll no' STAND me a dram；' said the driver； with a
well…merited severity of tone and manner； 'I dare say ye'll
have no objection to my taking one mysel'？'
'Yes … no … do what you like；' returned John； and then； as he
watched his tormentor mount the stairs and enter the whisky…
shop； there floated into his mind a sense as of something
long ago familiar。 At that he started fully awake； and
stared at the shop…fronts。 Yes； he knew them； but when？ and
how？ Long since； he thought； and then； casting his eye
through the front glass； which had been recently occluded by
the figure of the jarvey； he beheld the tree…tops of the
rookery in Randolph Crescent。 He was close to home … home；
where he had thought； at that hour； to be sitting in the
well…remembered drawing…room in friendly converse； and；
instead … ！
It was his first impulse to drop into the bottom of the cab；
his next； to cover his face with his hands。 So he sat； while
the cabman toasted the publican； and the publican toasted the
cabman； and both reviewed the affairs of the nation； so he
still sat； when his master condescended to return； and drive
off at last down…hill； along the curve of Lynedoch Place； but
even so sitting； as he passed the end of his father's street；
he took one glance from between shielding fingers； and beheld
a doctor's carriage at the door。
'Well； just so；' thought he； 'I'll have killed my father！
And this is Christmas…day！'
If Mr。 Nicholson died； it was down this same road he must
journey to the grave； and down this road； on the same errand；
his wife had preceded him years before； and many other
leading citizens； with the proper trappings and attendance of
the end。 And now； in that frosty； ill…smelling； straw…
carpeted； and ragged…cushioned cab； with his breath
congealing on the glasses； where else was John himself
advancing to？
The thought stirred his imagination； which began to
manufacture many thousand pictures； bright and fleeting； like
the shapes in a kaleidoscope； and now he saw himself； ruddy
and comfortered； sliding in the gutter； and； again； a little
woe…begone； bored urchin tricked forth in crape and weepers；
descending this same hill at the foot's pace of mourning
coaches； his mother's body just preceding him； and yet again；
his fancy； running far in front； showed him his destination …
now standing solitary in the low sunshine； with the sparrows
hopping on the threshold and the dead man within staring at
the roof … and now； with a sudden change； thronged about with
white…faced； hand…uplifting neighbours； and doctor bursting
through their midst and fixing his stethoscope as he went；
the policeman shaking a sagacious head beside the body。 It
was to this he feared that he was driving； in the midst of
this he saw himself arrive； heard himself stammer faint
explanations； and felt the hand of the constable upon his
shoulder。 Heavens！ how he wished he had played the manlier
part； how he despised himself that he had fled that fatal
neighbourhood when all was quiet； and should now be tamely
travelling back when it was thronging with avengers！
Any strong degree of passion lends； even to the dullest； the
forces of the imagination。 And so now as he dwelt on what
was probably awaiting him at the end of this distressful
drive … John； who saw things little； remembered them less；
and could not have described them at all； beheld in his
mind's…eye the garden of the Lodge； detailed as in a map； he
went to and fro in it； feeding his terrors； he saw the
hollies； the snowy borders； the paths where he had sought
Alan； the high； conventual walls； the shut door … what！ was
the door shut？ Ay； truly； he had shut it … shut in his
money； his escape； his future life … shut it with these
hands； and none could now open it！ He heard the snap of the
spring…lock like something bursting in his brain； and sat
astonied。
And then he woke again； terror jarring through his vitals。
This was no time to be idle； he must be up and doing； he must
think。 Once at the end of this ridiculous cruise； once at
the Lodge door； there would be nothing for it but to turn the
cab and trundle back again。 Why； then； go so far？ why add
another feature of suspicion to a case already so suggestive？
why not turn at once？ It was easy to say； turn； but whither？
He had nowhere now to go to； he could never … he saw it in
letters of blood … he could never pay that cab； he was
saddled with that cab for ever。 Oh that cab！ his soul
yearned and burned； and his bowels sounded to be rid of it。
He forgot all other cares。 He must first quit himself of
this ill…smelling vehicle and of the human beast that guided
it … first do that； do that； at least； do that at once。
And just then the cab suddenly stopped； and there was his
persecutor rapping on the front glass。 John let it down； and
beheld the port…wine countenance inflamed with intellectual
triumph。
'I ken wha ye are！' cried the husky voice。 'I mind ye now。
Ye're a Nucholson。 I drove ye to Hermiston to a Christmas
party； and ye came back on the box； and I let ye drive。'
It is a fact。 John knew the man； they had been even friends。
His enemy； he now remembered； was a fellow of great good
nature … endless good nature … with a boy； why not with a
man？ Why not appeal to his better side？ He grasped at the
new hope。
'Great Scott！ and so you did；' he cried； as if in a transport
of delight； his voice sounding false in his own ears。 'Well；
if that's so； I've something to say to you。 I'll just get
out； I guess。 Where are we； any way？'
The driver had fluttered his ticket in the eyes of the
branch…toll keeper； and they were now brought to on the
highest and most solitary part of the by…road。 On the left；
a row of fieldside trees beshaded it； on the right； it was
bordered by naked fallows； undulating down…hill to the
Queensferry Road； in front； Corstorphine Hill raised its
snow…bedabbled； darkling woods against the sky。 John looked
all about him； drinking the clear air like wine； then his
eyes returned to the cabman's face as he sat； not
ungleefully； awaiting John's communication； with the air of
one looking to be tipped。
The features of that face were hard to read； drink had so
swollen them； drink had so painted them； in tints that varied
from brick…red to mulberry。 The small grey eyes blinked； the
lips moved； with greed； greed was the ruling passion； and
though there was some good nature； some genuine kindliness； a
true human touch； in the old toper； his greed was now so set
afire by hope； that all other traits of character lay
dormant。 He sat there a monument of gluttonous desire。
John's heart slowly fell。 He had opened his lips； but he
stood there and uttered nought。 He sounded the well of his
courage； and it was dry。 He groped i