按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
with a childish quivering of her lips； with a sort of dismayed
distress upon her face； she was weeping。 She sat weeping in her
dress of cloth of gold； with her bare slender arms dropped limp over
the arms of her chair； and her eyes averted from me； making no
effort to stay or staunch her tears。 〃I am sorry； Margaret；〃 I
said。 〃I was in love。 。 。 。 I did not understand。 。 。 。〃
Presently she asked： 〃What are you going to do？〃
〃You see； Margaret； now it's come to be your affairI want to know
what youwhat you want。〃
〃You want to leave me？〃
〃If you want me to； I must。〃
〃Leave Parliamentleave all the things you are doing；all this
fine movement of yours？〃
〃No。〃 I spoke sullenly。 〃I don't want to leave anything。 I want to
stay on。 I've told you； because I think weIsabel and I； I mean
have got to drive through a storm of scandal anyhow。 I don't know
how far things may go； how much people may feel； and I can't； I
can't have you unconscious； unarmed； open to any revelation〃
She made no answer。
〃When the thing beganI knew it was stupid but I thought it was a
thing that wouldn't change； wouldn't be anything but itself；
wouldn't unfoldconsequences。 。 。 。 People have got hold of these
vague rumours。 。 。 。 Directly it reached any one else butbut us
twoI saw it had to come to you。〃
I stopped。 I had that distressful feeling I have always had with
Margaret； of not being altogether sure she heard； of being doubtful
if she understood。 I perceived that once again I had struck at her
and shattered a thousand unsubstantial pinnacles。 And I couldn't
get at her； to help her； or touch her mind！ I stood up； and at my
movement she moved。 She produced a dainty little handkerchief； and
made an effort to wipe her face with it； and held it to her eyes。
〃Oh； my Husband！〃 she sobbed。
〃What do you mean to do？〃 she said； with her voice muffled by her
handkerchief。
〃We're going to end it；〃 I said。
Something gripped me tormentingly as I said that。 I drew a chair
beside her and sat down。 〃You and I； Margaret； have been partners；〃
I began。 〃We've built up this life of ours together； I couldn't
have done it without you。 We've made a position； created a work〃
She shook her head。 〃You；〃 she said。
〃You helping。 I don't want to shatter itif you don't want it
shattered。 I can't leave my work。 I can't leave you。 I want you
to haveall that you have ever had。 I've never meant to rob you。
I've made an immense and tragic blunder。 You don't know how things
took us； how different they seemed！ My character and accident have
conspiredWe'll payin ourselves； not in our public service。〃
I halted again。 Margaret remained very still。
〃I want you to understand that the thing is at an end。 It is
definitely at an end。 Wewe talkedyesterday。 We mean to end it
altogether。〃 I clenched my hands。 〃She'sshe's going to marry
Arnold Shoesmith。〃
I wasn't looking now at Margaret any more； but I heard the rustle of
her movement as she turned on me。
〃It's all right；〃 I said； clinging to my explanation。 〃We're doing
nothing shabby。 He knows。 He will。 It's all as rightas things
can be now。 We're not cheating any one； Margaret。 We're doing
things straightnow。 Of course； you know。 。 。 。 We shallwe
shall have to make sacrifices。 Give things up pretty completely。
Very completely。 。 。 。 We shall have not to see each other for a
time； you know。 Perhaps not a long time。 Two or three years。 Or
writeor just any of that sort of thing ever〃
Some subconscious barrier gave way in me。 I found myself crying
uncontrollablyas I have never cried since I was a little child。 I
was amazed and horrified at myself。 And wonderfully； Margaret was
on her knees beside me； with her arms about me； mingling her weeping
with mine。 〃Oh； my Husband！〃 she cried； my poor Husband！ Does it
hurt you so？ I would do anything！ Oh； the fool I am！ Dear； I love
you。 I love you over and away and above all these jealous little
things！〃
She drew down my head to her as a mother might draw down the head of
a son。 She caressed me； weeping bitterly with me。 〃Oh！ my dear；〃
she sobbed； 〃my dear！ I've never seen you cry！ I've never seen you
cry。 Ever！ I didn't know you could。 Oh！ my dear！ Can't you have
her； my dear； if you want her？ I can't bear it！ Let me help you；
dear。 Oh！ my Husband！ My Man！ I can't bear to have you cry！〃 For
a time she held me in silence。
〃I've thought this might happen； I dreamt it might happen。 You two；
I mean。 It was dreaming put it into my head。 When I've seen you
together； so glad with each other。 。 。 。 Oh！ Husband mine； believe
me！ believe me！ I'm stupid； I'm cold； I'm only beginning to realise
how stupid and cold； but all I want in all the world is to give my
life to you。〃 。 。 。
6
〃We can't part in a room；〃 said Isabel。
〃We'll have one last talk together；〃 I said； and planned that we
should meet for a half a day between Dover and Walmer and talk
ourselves out。 I still recall that day very well； recall even the
curious exaltation of grief that made our mental atmosphere
distinctive and memorable。 We had seen so much of one another； had
become so intimate； that we talked of parting even as we parted with
a sense of incredible remoteness。 We went together up over the
cliffs； and to a place where they fall towards the sea； past the
white； quaint…lanterned lighthouses of the South Foreland。 There；
in a kind of niche below the crest； we sat talking。 It was a
spacious day； serenely blue and warm； and on the wrinkled water
remotely below a black tender and six hooded submarines came
presently； and engaged in mysterious manoeuvers。 Shrieking gulls
and chattering jackdaws circled over us and below us； and dived and
swooped； and a skerry of weedy； fallen chalk appeared； and gradually
disappeared again； as the tide fell and rose。
We talked and thought that afternoon on every aspect of our
relations。 It seems to me now we talked so wide and far that
scarcely an issue in the life between man and woman can arise that
we did not at least touch upon。 Lying there at Isabel's feet； I
have become for myself a symbol of all this world…wide problem
between duty and conscious； passionate love the world has still to
solve。 Because it isn't solved； there's a wrong in it either way。 。
。 。 The sky； the wide horizon； seemed to lift us out of ourselves
until we were something representative and general。 She was
womanhood become articulate； talking to her lover。
〃I ought；〃 I said； 〃never to have loved you。〃
〃It wasn't a thing planned；〃 she said。
〃I ought never to have let our talk slip to that； never to have
turned back from America。〃
〃I'm glad we did it；〃 she said。 〃Don't think I repent。〃
I looked at her。
〃I will never repent；〃 she said。 〃Never！〃 as though she clung to
her life in saying it。
I remember we talked for a long time of divorce。 It seemed to us
then； and it seems to us still； that it ought to have been possible
for Margaret to divorce me； and for me to marry without the
scandalous and ugly publicity； the taint and ostracism that follow
such a readjustment。 We went on to the whole perplexing riddle of
marriage。 We criticised the current code； how muddled and
conventionalised it had become； how modified by subterfuges and
concealments and new necessities； and the increasing freedom of
women。 〃It's all like Bromstead when the building came；〃 I said；
for I had often talked to her of that early impression of purpose
dissolving again into chaotic forces。 〃There is no clear right in
the world any more。 The world is Byzantine。 The justest man to…day
must practise a tainted goodness。〃
These questions need discussiona magnificent frankness of