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the daily atmosphere。 Preceding our imperatively sterile passion；
you must remember； outside it； altogether greater than it so far as
our individual lives were concerned； there had grown and still grew
an enormous affection and intellectual sympathy between us。 We
brought all our impressions and all our ideas to each other； to see
them in each other's light。 It is hard to convey that quality of
intellectual unison to any one who has not experienced it。 I
thought more and more in terms of conversation with Isabel； her
possible comments upon things would flash into my mind； oh！with
the very sound of her voice。
I remember； too； the odd effect of seeing her in the distance going
about Handitch； like any stranger canvasser； the queer emotion of
her approach along the street； the greeting as she passed。 The
morning of the polling she vanished from the constituency。 I saw
her for an instant in the passage behind our Committee rooms。
〃Going？〃 said I。
She nodded。
〃Stay it out。 I want you to see the fun。 I rememberthe other
time。〃
She didn't answer for a moment or so； and stood with face averted。
〃It's Margaret's show；〃 she said abruptly。 〃If I see her smiling
there like a queen by your side！ She didlast time。 I
remember。〃 She caught at a sob and dashed her hand across her face
impatiently。 〃Jealous fool； mean and petty； jealous fool！ 。 。 。
Good luck； old man； to you！ You're going to win。 But I don't want
to see the end of it all the same。 。 。 。〃
〃Good…bye！〃 said I； clasping her hand as some supporter appeared in
the passage。 。 。 。
I came back to London victorious； and a little flushed and coarse
with victory； and so soon as I could break away I went to Isabel's
flat and found her white and worn； with the stain of secret weeping
about her eyes。 I came into the room to her and shut the door。
〃You said I'd win；〃 I said； and held out my arms。
She hugged me closely for a moment。
〃My dear；〃 I whispered； 〃it's nothingwithout younothing！〃
We didn't speak for some seconds。 Then she slipped from my hold。
〃Look！〃 she said； smiling like winter sunshine。 〃I've had in all
the morning papersthe pile of them； and youresounding。〃
〃It's more than I dared hope。〃
〃Or I。〃
She stood for a moment still smiling bravely； and then she was
sobbing in my arms。 〃The bigger you arethe more you show；〃 she
said〃 the more we are parted。 I know； I know〃
I held her close to me； making no answer。
Presently she became still。 〃Oh； well；〃 she said； and wiped her
eyes and sat down on the little sofa by the fire； and I sat down
beside her。
〃I didn't know all there was in love；〃 she said； staring at the
coals； 〃when we went love…making。〃
I put my arm behind her and took a handful of her dear soft hair in
my hand and kissed it。
〃You've done a great thing this time；〃 she said。 〃Handitch will
make you。〃
〃It opens big chances；〃 I said。 〃But why are you weeping； dear
one？〃
〃Envy；〃 she said； 〃and love。〃
〃You're not lonely？〃
〃I've plenty to doand lots of people。〃
〃Well？〃
〃I want you。〃
〃You've got me。〃
She put her arm about me and kissed me。 〃I want you；〃 she said；
〃just as if I had nothing of you。 You don't understandhow a woman
wants a man。 I thought once if I just gave myself to you it would
be enough。 It was nothingit was just a step across the threshold。
My dear； every moment you are away I ache for youache！ I want to
be about when it isn't love…making or talk。 I want to be doing
things for you； and watching you when you're not thinking of me。
All those safe； careless； intimate things。 And something else〃
She stopped。 〃Dear； I don't want to bother you。 I just want you to
know I love you。 。 。 。〃
She caught my head in her hands and kissed it； then stood up
abruptly。
I looked up at her； a little perplexed。
〃Dear heart；〃 said I； 〃isn't this enough？ You're my councillor； my
colleague； my right hand； the secret soul of my life〃
〃And I want to darn your socks；〃 she said； smiling back at me。
〃You're insatiable。〃
She smiled 〃No；〃 she said。 〃I'm not insatiable； Master。 But I'm a
woman in love。 And I'm finding out what I want； and what is
necessary to meand what I can't have。 That's all。〃
〃We get a lot。〃
〃We want a lot。 You and I are greedy people for the things we like；
Master。 It's very evident we've got nearly all we can ever have of
one anotherand I'm not satisfied。〃
〃What more is there？
〃For youvery little。 I wonder。 For meevery thing。 Yes
everything。 You didn't mean it； Master； you didn't know any more
than I did when I began； but love between a man and a woman is
sometimes very one…sided。 Fearfully one…sided！ That's all。 。 。 。〃
〃Don't YOU ever want children？〃 she said abruptly。
〃I suppose I do。〃
〃You don't！〃
〃I haven't thought of them。〃
〃A man doesn't； perhaps。 But I have。 。 。 。 I want themlike
hunger。 YOUR children； and home with you。 Really； continually you！
That's the trouble。 。 。 。 I can't have 'em； Master； and I can't
have you。〃
She was crying； and through her tears she laughed。
〃I'm going to make a scene；〃 she said； 〃and get this over。 I'm so
discontented and miserable； I've got to tell you。 It would come
between us if I didn't。 I'm in love with you； with everythingwith
all my brains。 I'll pull through all right。 I'll be good； Master；
never you fear。 But to…day I'm crying out with all my being。 This
electionYou're going up； you're going on。 In these papersyou're
a great big fact。 It's suddenly come home to me。 At the back of my
mind I've always had the idea I was going to have you somehow
presently for myselfI mean to have you to go long tramps with； to
keep house for； to get meals for； to watch for of an evening。 It's
a sort of habitual background to my thought of you。 And it's
nonsenseutter nonsense！〃 She stopped。 She was crying and
choking。 〃And the child； you knowthe child！〃
I was troubled beyond measure； but Handitch and its intimations were
clear and strong。
〃We can't have that；〃 I said。
〃No；〃 she said； 〃we can't have that。〃
〃We've got our own things to do。〃
〃YOUR things；〃 she said。
〃Aren't they yours too？〃
〃Because of you；〃 she said。
〃Aren't they your very own things？〃
〃Women don't have that sort of very own thing。 Indeed； it's true！
And think！ You've been down there preaching the goodness of
children； telling them the only good thing in a state is happy；
hopeful children； working to free mothers and children〃
〃And we give our own children to do it？〃 I said。
〃Yes；〃 she said。 〃And sometimes I think it's too much to givetoo
much altogether。 。 。 。 Children get into a woman's brainwhen she
mustn't have them； especially when she must never hope for them。
Think of the child we might have now！the little creature with
soft； tender skin； and little hands and little feet！ At times it
haunts me。 It comes and says； Why wasn't I given life？ I can hear
it in the night。 。 。 。 The world is full of such little ghosts；
dear loverlittle things that asked for life and were refused。
They clamour to me。 It's like a little fist beating at my heart。
Love children； beautiful children。 Little cold hands that tear at
my heart！ Oh； my heart and my lord！〃 She was holding my arm with
both her hands and weeping against it； and now she drew herself to
my shoulder and wept and sobbed in my embrace。 〃I shall never sit
with your child on my knee and you beside me…never； and I am a woman
and your lover！ 。 。 。〃
2
But the profound impossibility of our relation was now becoming more
and more apparent to us。 We found ourselves seeking justification；
clinging passionately to a situati