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square was a seething seat of excited people； and the array of
police on horse and on foot might have been assembled for a
revolutionary outbreak。 There were dense masses of people up
Whitehall； and right on to Westminster Bridge。 The scuffle that
ended in the arrests was the poorest explosion to follow such
stupendous preparations。 。 。 。
3
Later on in that year the women began a new attack。 Day and night；
and all through the long nights of the Budget sittings； at all the
piers of the gates of New Palace Yard and at St。 Stephen's Porch；
stood women pickets； and watched us silently and reproachfully as we
went to and fro。 They were women of all sorts； though； of course；
the independent worker…class predominated。 There were grey…headed
old ladies standing there； sturdily charming in the rain； battered…
looking； ambiguous women； with something of the desperate bitterness
of battered women showing in their eyes； north…country factory
girls； cheaply…dressed suburban women； trim； comfortable mothers of
families； valiant…eyed girl graduates and undergraduates； lank；
hungry…looking creatures； who stirred one's imagination； one very
dainty little woman in deep mourning； I recall； grave and steadfast；
with eyes fixed on distant things。 Some of those women looked
defiant； some timidly aggressive； some full of the stir of
adventure； some drooping with cold and fatigue。 The supply never
ceased。 I had a mortal fear that somehow the supply might halt or
cease。 I found that continual siege of the legislature
extraordinarily impressiveinfinitely more impressive than the
feeble…forcible 〃ragging〃 of the more militant section。 I thought
of the appeal that must be going through the country； summoning the
women from countless scattered homes； rooms； colleges； to
Westminster。
I remember too the petty little difficulty I felt whether I should
ignore these pickets altogether； or lift a hat as I hurried past
with averted eyes； or look them in the face as I did so。 Towards
the end the House evoked an etiquette of salutation。
4
There was a tendency； even on the part of its sympathisers； to treat
the whole suffrage agitation as if it were a disconnected issue；
irrelevant to all other broad developments of social and political
life。 We struggled； all of us； to ignore the indicating finger it
thrust out before us。 〃Your schemes； for all their bigness；〃 it
insisted to our reluctant； averted minds； 〃still don't go down to
the essential things。 。 。 。〃
We have to go deeper； or our inadequate children's insufficient
children will starve amidst harvests of earless futility。 That
conservatism which works in every class to preserve in its
essentials the habitual daily life is all against a profounder
treatment of political issues。 The politician； almost as absurdly
as the philosopher； tends constantly； in spite of magnificent
preludes； vast intimations； to specialise himself out of the reality
he has so stupendously summonedhe bolts back to littleness。 The
world has to be moulded anew； he continues to admit； but without； he
adds； any risk of upsetting his week…end visits； his morning cup of
tea。 。 。 。
The discussion of the relations of men and women disturbs every one。
It reacts upon the private life of every one who attempts it。 And
at any particular time only a small minority have a personal
interest in changing the established state of affairs。 Habit and
interest are in a constantly recruited majority against conscious
change and adjustment in these matters。 Drift rules us。 The great
mass of people； and an overwhelming proportion of influential
people； are people who have banished their dreams and made their
compromise。 Wonderful and beautiful possibilities are no longer to
be thought about。 They have given up any aspirations for intense
love； their splendid offspring； for keen delights； have accepted a
cultivated kindliness and an uncritical sense of righteousness as
their compensation。 It's a settled affair with them； a settled；
dangerous affair。 Most of them fear； and many hate； the slightest
reminder of those abandoned dreams。 As Dayton once said to the
Pentagram Circle； when we were discussing the problem of a universal
marriage and divorce law throughout the Empire； 〃I am for leaving
all these things alone。〃 And then； with a groan in his voice；
〃Leave them alone！ Leave them all alone！〃
That was his whole speech for the evening； in a note of suppressed
passion； and presently； against all our etiquette； he got up and
went out。
For some years after my marriage； I too was for leaving them alone。
I developed a dread and dislike for romance； for emotional music；
for the human figure in artturning my heart to landscape。 I
wanted to sneer at lovers and their ecstasies； and was uncomfortable
until I found the effective sneer。 In matters of private morals
these were my most uncharitable years。 I didn't want to think of
these things any more for ever。 I hated the people whose talk or
practice showed they were not of my opinion。 I wanted to believe
that their views were immoral and objectionable and contemptible；
because I had decided to treat them as at that level。 I was； in
fact； falling into the attitude of the normal decent man。
And yet one cannot help thinking！ The sensible moralised man finds
it hard to escape the stream of suggestion that there are still
dreams beyond these commonplace acquiescences；the appeal of beauty
suddenly shining upon one； the mothlike stirrings of serene summer
nights； the sweetness of distant music。 。 。 。
It is one of the paradoxical factors in our public life at the
present time； which penalises abandonment to love so abundantly and
so heavily； that power； influence and control fall largely to
unencumbered people and sterile people and people who have married
for passionless purposes； people whose very deficiency in feeling
has left them free to follow ambition； people beautyblind； who don't
understand what it is to fall in love； what it is to desire children
or have them； what it is to feel in their blood and bodies the
supreme claim of good births and selective births above all other
affairs in life； people almost of necessity averse from this most
fundamental aspect of existence。 。 。 。
5
It wasn't； however； my deepening sympathy with and understanding of
the position of women in general； or the change in my ideas about
all these intimate things my fast friendship with Isabel was
bringing about； that led me to the heretical views I have in the
last five years dragged from the region of academic and timid
discussion into the field of practical politics。 Those influences；
no doubt； have converged to the same end； and given me a powerful
emotional push upon my road； but it was a broader and colder view of
things that first determined me in my attempt to graft the Endowment
of Motherhood in some form or other upon British Imperialism。 Now
that I am exiled from the political world； it is possible to
estimate just how effectually that grafting has been done。
I have explained how the ideas of a trained aristocracy and a
universal education grew to paramount importance in my political
scheme。 It is but a short step from this to the question of the
quantity and quality of births in the community； and from that again
to these forbidden and fear…beset topics of marriage； divorce； and
the family organisation。 A sporadic discussion of these aspects had
been going on for years； a Eugenic society existed； and articles on
the Falling Birth Rate； and the Rapid Multiplication of the Unfit
were staples of the monthly magazines。 But beyond an intermittent
scolding of prosperous childless people in generalone never
addressed them in particularnothing w