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the Tories and peers and rich people are to blame for social
injustice as we have it to…day？ Do you really see politics as a
struggle of light on the Liberal side against darkness on the Tory？〃
〃They MUST know；〃 said Margaret。
I found myself questioning that。 I see now that to Margaret it must
have seemed the perversest carping against manifest things； but at
the time I was concentrated simply upon the elucidation of her view
and my own； I wanted to get at her conception in the sharpest；
hardest lines that were possible。 It was perfectly clear that she
saw Toryism as the diabolical element in affairs。 The thing showed
in its hopeless untruth all the clearer for the fine； clean emotion
with which she gave it out to me。 My sleeping peer in the library
at Stamford Court and Evesham talking luminously behind the
Hartstein flowers embodied the devil； and my replete citizen sucking
at his cigar in the National Liberal Club； Willie Crampton
discussing the care and management of the stomach over a specially
hygienic lemonade； and Dr。 Tumpany in his aggressive frock…coat
pegging out a sort of copyright in Socialism； were the centre and
wings of the angelic side。 It was nonsense。 But how was I to put
the truth to her？
〃I don't see things at all as you do；〃 I said。 〃I don't see things
in the same way。〃
〃Think of the poor；〃 said Margaret； going off at a tangent。
〃Think of every one；〃 I said。 〃We Liberals have done more mischief
through well…intentioned benevolence than all the selfishness in the
world could have done。 We built up the liquor interest。〃
〃WE！〃 cried Margaret。 〃How can you say that？ It's against us。〃
〃Naturally。 But we made it a monopoly in our clumsy efforts to
prevent people drinking what they liked； because it interfered with
industrial regularity〃
〃Oh！〃 cried Margaret； stung； and I could see she thought I was
talking mere wickedness。
〃That's it；〃 I said。
〃But would you have people drink whatever they pleased？〃
〃Certainly。 What right have I to dictate to other men and women？〃
〃But think of the children！〃
〃Ah！ there you have the folly of modern Liberalism； its half…
cunning； half…silly way of getting at everything in a roundabout
fashion。 If neglecting children is an offence； and it IS an
offence； then deal with it as such； but don't go badgering and
restricting people who sell something that may possibly in some
cases lead to a neglect of children。 If drunkenness is an offence；
punish it； but don't punish a man for selling honest drink that
perhaps after all won't make any one drunk at all。 Don't intensify
the viciousness of the public…house by assuming the place isn't fit
for women and children。 That's either spite or folly。 Make the
public…house FIT for women and children。 Make it a real public…
house。 If we Liberals go on as we are going； we shall presently
want to stop the sale of ink and paper because those things tempt
men to forgery。 We do already threaten the privacy of the post
because of betting tout's letters。 The drift of all that kind of
thing is narrow； unimaginative； mischievous； stupid。 。 。 。〃
I stopped short and walked to the window and surveyed a pretty
fountain； facsimile of one in Verona； amidst trim…cut borderings of
yew。 Beyond； and seen between the stems of ilex trees； was a great
blaze of yellow flowers。 。 。 。
〃But prevention；〃 I heard Margaret behind me； 〃is the essence of our
work。〃
I turned。 〃There's no prevention but education。 There's no
antiseptics in life but love and fine thinking。 Make people fine；
make fine people。 Don't be afraid。 These Tory leaders are better
people individually than the average； why cast them for the villains
of the piece？ The real villain in the piecein the whole human
dramais the muddle…headedness； and it matters very little if it's
virtuous…minded or wicked。 I want to get at muddle…headedness。 If
I could do that I could let all that you call wickedness in the
world run about and do what it jolly well pleased。 It would matter
about as much as a slightly neglected dogin an otherwise well…
managed home。〃
My thoughts had run away with me。
〃I can't understand you；〃 said Margaret； in the profoundest
distress。 〃I can't understand how it is you are coming to see
things like this。〃
10
The moods of a thinking man in politics are curiously evasive and
difficult to describe。 Neither the public nor the historian will
permit the statesman moods。 He has from the first to assume he has
an Aim； a definite Aim； and to pretend to an absolute consistency
with that。 Those subtle questionings about the very fundamentals of
life which plague us all so relentlessly nowadays are supposed to be
silenced。 He lifts his chin and pursues his Aim explicitly in the
sight of all men。 Those who have no real political experience can
scarcely imagine the immense mental and moral strain there is
between one's everyday acts and utterances on the one hand and the
〃thinking…out〃 process on the other。 It is perplexingly difficult
to keep in your mind； fixed and firm； a scheme essentially complex；
to keep balancing a swaying possibility while at the same time under
jealous； hostile； and stupid observation you tread your part in the
platitudinous； quarrelsome； ill…presented march of affairs。 。 。 。
The most impossible of all autobiographies is an intellectual
autobiography。 I have thrown together in the crudest way the
elements of the problem I struggled with； but I can give no record
of the subtle details； I can tell nothing of the long vacillations
between Protean values； the talks and re…talks； the meditations； the
bleak lucidities of sleepless nights。 。 。 。
And yet these things I have struggled with must be thought out； and；
to begin with； they must be thought out in this muddled；
experimenting way。 To go into a study to think about statecraft is
to turn your back on the realities you are constantly needing to
feel and test and sound if your thinking is to remain vital； to
choose an aim and pursue it in despite of all subsequent
questionings is to bury the talent of your mind。 It is no use
dealing with the intricate as though it were simple； to leap
haphazard at the first course of action that presents itself； the
whole world of politicians is far too like a man who snatches a
poker to a failing watch。 It is easy to say he wants to 〃get
something done；〃 but the only sane thing to do for the moment is to
put aside that poker and take thought and get a better implement。 。 。 。
One of the results of these fundamental preoccupations of mine was a
curious irritability towards Margaret that I found difficult to
conceal。 It was one of the incidental cruelties of our position
that this should happen。 I was in such doubt myself； that I had no
power to phrase things for her in a form she could use。 Hitherto I
had stage…managed our 〃serious〃 conversations。 Now I was too much
in earnest and too uncertain to go on doing this。 I avoided talk
with her。 Her serene； sustained confidence in vague formulae and
sentimental aspirations exasperated me； her want of sympathetic
apprehension made my few efforts to indicate my changing attitudes
distressing and futile。 It wasn't that I was always thinking right；
and that she was always saying wrong。 It was that I was struggling
to get hold of a difficult thing that was； at any rate； half true； I
could not gauge how true； and that Margaret's habitual phrasing
ignored these elusive elements of truth； and without premeditation
fitted into the weaknesses of my new intimations； as though they had
nothing but weaknesses。 It was； for example； obvious that these big
people； who were the backbone of Imperialism and Conservatism； were
temperamentally lax； much more indolent；