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one has never seen before and may never see again。 I said I loved
beautiful scenery and all beautiful things； and the pointing note in
my voice made her laugh。 She told me I had bold eyes； and so far as
I can remember I said she made them bold。 〃Blue they are；〃 she
remarked； smiling archly。 〃I like blue eyes。〃 Then I think we
compared ages； and she said she was the Woman of Thirty； 〃George
Moore's Woman of Thirty。〃
I had not read George Moore at the time； but I pretended to
understand。
That； I think； was our limit that evening。 She went to bed； smiling
good…night quite prettily down the big staircase； and I and
Willersley went out to smoke in the garden。 My head was full of
her； and I found it necessary to talk about her。 So I made her a
problem in sociology。 〃Who the deuce are these people？〃 I said； and
how do they get a living？ They seem to have plenty of money。 He
strikes me as beingWillersley； what is a drysalter？ I think he's
a retired drysalter。〃
Willersley theorised while I thought of the woman and that
provocative quality of dash she had displayed。 The next day at
lunch she and I met like old friends。 A huge mass of private
thinking during the interval had been added to our effect upon one
another。 We talked for a time of insignificant things。
〃What do you do；〃 she asked rather quickly； 〃after lunch？ Take a
siesta？〃
〃Sometimes；〃 I said； and hung for a moment eye to eye。
We hadn't a doubt of each other； but my heart was beating like a
steamer propeller when it lifts out of the water。
〃Do you get a view from your room？〃 she asked after a pause。
〃It's on the third floor； Number seventeen； near the staircase。 My
friend's next door。〃
She began to talk of books。 She was interested in Christian
Science； she said； and spoke of a book。 I forget altogether what
that book was called； though I remember to this day with the utmost
exactness the purplish magenta of its cover。 She said she would
lend it to me and hesitated。
Wlllersley wanted to go for an expedition across the lake that
afternoon； but I refused。 He made some other proposals that I
rejected abruptly。 〃 I shall write in my room；〃 I said。
〃Why not write down here？〃
〃I shall write in my room；〃 I snarled like a thwarted animal； and he
looked at me curiously。 〃Very well；〃 he said； 〃then I'll make some
notes and think about that order of ours out under the magnolias。〃
I hovered about the lounge for a time buying postcards and
feverishly restless； watching the movements of the other people。
Finally I went up to my room and sat down by the windows； staring
out。 There came a little tap at the unlocked door and in an
instant； like the go of a taut bowstring； I was up and had it open。
〃Here is that book；〃 she said； and we hesitated。
〃COME IN！〃 I whispered； trembling from head to foot。
〃You're just a boy；〃 she said in a low tone。
I did not feel a bit like a lover； I felt like a burglar with the
safe…door nearly opened。 〃Come in；〃 I said almost impatiently； for
anyone might be in the passage； and I gripped her wrist and drew her
towards me。
〃What do you mean？〃 she answered with a faint smile on her lips； and
awkward and yielding。
I shut the door behind her； still holding her with one hand； then
turned upon hershe was laughing nervouslyand without a word drew
her to me and kissed her。 And I remember that as I kissed her she
made a little noise almost like the purring miaow with which a cat
will greet one and her face； close to mine； became solemn and
tender。
She was suddenly a different being from the discontented wife who
had tapped a moment since on my door； a woman transfigured。 。 。 。
That evening I came down to dinner a monster of pride； for behold！ I
was a man。 I felt myself the most wonderful and unprecedented of
adventurers。 It was hard to believe that any one in the world
before had done as much。 My mistress and I met smiling； we carried
things off admirably； and it seemed to me that Willersley was the
dullest old dog in the world。 I wanted to give him advice。 I
wanted to give him derisive pokes。 After dinner and coffee in the
lounge I was too excited and hilarious to go to bed； I made him come
with me down to the cafe under the arches by the pier； and there
drank beer and talked extravagant nonsense about everything under
the sun； in order not to talk about the happenings of the afternoon。
All the time something shouted within me： 〃I am a man！ I am a
man！〃 。 。 。
〃What shall we do to…morrow？〃 said he。
〃I'm for loafing；〃 I said。 〃Let's row in the morning and spend to…
morrow afternoon just as we did to…day。〃
〃They say the church behind the town is worth seeing。〃
〃We'll go up about sunset； that's the best time for it。 We can
start about five。〃
We heard music； and went further along the arcade to discover a
place where girls in operatic Swiss peasant costume were singing and
dancing on a creaking； protesting little stage。 I eyed their
generous display of pink neck and arm with the seasoned eye of a man
who has lived in the world。 Life was perfectly simple and easy； I
felt； if one took it the right way。
Next day Willersley wanted to go on； but I delayed。 Altogether I
kept him back four days。 Then abruptly my mood changed； and we
decided to start early the following morning。 I remember； though a
little indistinctly； the feeling of my last talk with that woman
whose surname； odd as it may seem； either I never learnt or I have
forgotten。 （Her christian name was Milly。） She was tired and
rather low…spirited； and disposed to be sentimental； and for the
first time in our intercourse I found myself liking her for the sake
of her own personality。 There was something kindly and generous
appearing behind the veil of naive and uncontrolled sensuality she
had worn。 There was a curious quality of motherliness in her
attitude to me that something in my nature answered and approved。
She didn't pretend to keep it up that she had yielded to my
initiative。 〃I've done you no harm；〃 she said a little doubtfully；
an odd note for a man's victim！ And； 〃we've had a good time。 You
have liked me； haven't you？〃
She interested me in her lonely dissatisfied life； she was childless
and had no hope of children； and her husband was the only son of a
rich meat salesman； very mean； a mighty smoker〃he reeks of it；〃
she said； 〃always〃and interested in nothing but golf； billiards
（which he played very badly）； pigeon shooting； convivial Free
Masonry and Stock Exchange punting。 Mostly they drifted about the
Riviera。 Her mother had contrived her marriage when she was
eighteen。 They were the first samples I ever encountered of the
great multitude of functionless property owners which encumbers
modern civilisationbut at the time I didn't think much of that
aspect of them。 。 。 。
I tell all this business as it happened without comment； because I
have no comment to make。 It was all strange to me； strange rather
than wonderful； and； it may be； some dream of beauty died for ever
in those furtive meetings； it happened to me； and I could scarcely
have been more irresponsible in the matter or controlled events less
if I had been suddenly pushed over a cliff into water。 I swam； of
coursefinding myself in it。 Things tested me； and I reacted； as I
have told。 The bloom of my innocence； if ever there had been such a
thing； was gone。 And here is the remarkable thing about it； at the
time and for some days I was over…weeningly proud； I have never been
so proud before or since； I felt I had been promoted to virility； I
was unable to conceal my exultation from Willersley。 It was a mood
of shining shameless ungracious self…approval。 As he and I went
along in the cool morning sunshine by the ric