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deception write down compactly the world as it was known to me at
nineteen。 So far as extension went it was； I fancy； very like the
world I know now at forty…two； I had practically all the mountains
and seas； boundaries and races； products and possibilities that I
have now。 But its intension was very different。 All the interval
has been increasing and deepening my social knowledge； replacing
crude and second…hand impressions by felt and realised distinctions。
In 1895that was my last year with Britten； for I went up to
Cambridge in Septembermy vision of the world had much the same
relation to the vision I have to…day that an ill…drawn daub of a
mask has to the direct vision of a human face。 Britten and I looked
at our world and sawwhat did we see？ Forms and colours side by
side that we had no suspicion were interdependent。 We had no
conception of the roots of things nor of the reaction of things。 It
did not seem to us； for example； that business had anything to do
with government； or that money and means affected the heroic issues
of war。 There were no wagons in our war game； and where there were
guns； there it was assumed the ammunition was gathered together。
Finance again was a sealed book to us； we did not so much connect it
with the broad aspects of human affairs as regard it as a sort of
intrusive nuisance to be earnestly ignored by all right…minded men。
We had no conception of the quality of politics； nor how 〃interests〃
came into such affairs； we believed men were swayed by purely
intellectual convictions and were either right or wrong； honest or
dishonest （in which ease they deserved to be shot）； good or bad。 We
knew nothing of mental inertia； and could imagine the opinion of a
whole nation changed by one lucid and convincing exposition。 We
were capable of the most incongruous transfers from the scroll of
history to our own times； we could suppose Brixton ravaged and
Hampstead burnt in civil wars for the succession to the throne； or
Cheapside a lane of death and the front of the Mansion House set
about with guillotines in the course of an accurately transposed
French Revolution。 We rebuilt London by Act of Parliament； and once
in a mood of hygienic enterprise we transferred its population EN
MASSE to the North Downs by an order of the Local Government Board。
We thought nothing of throwing religious organisations out of
employment or superseding all the newspapers by freely distributed
bulletins。 We could contemplate the possibility of laws abolishing
whole classes； we were equal to such a dream as the peaceful and
orderly proclamation of Communism from the steps of St。 Paul's
Cathedral； after the passing of a simply worded bill；a close and
not unnaturally an exciting division carrying the third reading。 I
remember quite distinctly evolving that vision。 We were then fully
fifteen and we were perfectly serious about it。 We were not fools；
it was simply that as yet we had gathered no experience at all of
the limits and powers of legislation and conscious collective
intention。 。 。 。
I think this statement does my boyhood justice； and yet I have my
doubts。 It is so hard now to say what one understood and what one
did not understand。 It isn't only that every day changed one's
general outlook； but also that a boy fluctuates between phases of
quite adult understanding and phases of tawdrily magnificent
puerility。 Sometimes I myself was in those tumbrils that went along
Cheapside to the Mansion House； a Sydney Cartonesque figure； a white
defeated Mirabean； sometimes it was I who sat judging and condemning
and ruling （sleeping in my clothes and feeding very simply） the soul
and autocrat of the Provisional Government； which occupied； of all
inconvenient places！ the General Post Office at St。 Martin's…le…
Grand！ 。 。 。
I cannot trace the development of my ideas at Cambridge； but I
believe the mere physical fact of going two hours' journey away from
London gave that place for the first time an effect of unity in my
imagination。 I got outside London。 It became tangible instead of
being a frame almost as universal as sea and sky。
At Cambridge my ideas ceased to live in a duologue； in exchange for
Britten； with whom； however； I corresponded lengthily； stylishly and
self…consciously for some years； I had now a set of congenial
friends。 I got talk with some of the younger dons； I learnt to
speak in the Union； and in my little set we were all pretty busily
sharpening each other's wits and correcting each other's
interpretations。 Cambridge made politics personal and actual。 At
City Merchants' we had had no sense of effective contact； we
boasted； it is true； an under secretary and a colonial governor
among our old boys； but they were never real to us； such
distinguished sons as returned to visit the old school were allusive
and pleasant in the best Pinky Dinky style； and pretended to be in
earnest about nothing but our football and cricket； to mourn the
abolition of 〃water；〃 and find a shuddering personal interest in the
ancient swishing block。 At Cambridge I felt for the first time that
I touched the thing that was going on。 Real living statesmen came
down to debate in the Union； the older dons had been their college
intimates； their sons and nephews expounded them to us and made them
real to us。 They invited us to entertain ideas； I found myself for
the first time in my life expected to read and think and discuss； my
secret vice had become a virtue。
That combination…room world is at last larger and more populous and
various than the world of schoolmasters。 The Shoesmiths and Naylors
who had been the aristocracy of City Merchants' fell into their
place in my mind； they became an undistinguished mass on the more
athletic side of Pinky Dinkyism； and their hostility to ideas and to
the expression of ideas ceased to limit and trouble me。 The
brighter men of each generation stay up； these others go down to
propagate their tradition； as the fathers of families； as mediocre
professional men； as assistant masters in schools。 Cambridge which
perfects them is by the nature of things least oppressed by them；
except when it comes to a vote in Convocation。
We were still in those days under the shadow of the great
Victorians。 I never saw Gladstone （as I never set eyes on the old
Queen）； but he had resigned office only a year before I went up to
Trinity； and the Combination Rooms were full of personal gossip
about him and Disraeli and the other big figures of the gladiatorial
stage of Parlimentary history； talk that leaked copiously into such
sets as mine。 The ceiling of our guest chamber at Trinity was
glorious with the arms of Sir William Harcourt； whose Death Duties
had seemed at first like a socialist dawn。 Mr。 Evesham we asked to
come to the Union every year； Masters； Chamberlain and the old Duke
of Devonshire； they did not come indeed； but their polite refusals
brought us all； as it were； within personal touch of them。 One
heard of cabinet councils and meetings at country houses。 Some of
us； pursuing such interests； went so far as to read political
memoirs and the novels of Disraeli and Mrs。 Humphry Ward。 From
gossip； example and the illustrated newspapers one learnt something
of the way in which parties were split； coalitions formed； how
permanent officials worked and controlled their ministers； how
measures were brought forward and projects modified。
And while I was getting the great leading figures on the political
stage； who had been presented to me in my schooldays not so much as
men as the pantomimic monsters of political caricature； while I was
getting them reduced in my imagination to the stature of humanity；
and their motives to the quality of impulses like my own； I was also
acquiring in my Tripos work a constantly dev