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〃The life of the body is an evil and a lie。 Therefore the
destruction of the life of the body is a blessing； and we should
desire it；〃 says Socrates。
〃Life is that which should not be an evil； and the passage
into Nothingness is the only good in life；〃 says Schopenhauer。
〃All that is in the world folly and wisdom and riches and
poverty and mirth and grief is vanity and emptiness。 Man dies
and nothing is left of him。 And that is stupid；〃 says Solomon。
〃To life in the consciousness of the inevitability of
suffering； of becoming enfeebled； of old age and of death； is
impossible we must free ourselves from life； from all possible
life；〃 says Buddha。
And what these strong minds said has been said and thought and
felt by millions upon millions of people like them。 And I have
thought it and felt it。
So my wandering among the sciences； far from freeing me from
my despair； only strengthened it。 One kind of knowledge did not
reply to life's question； the other kind replied directly
confirming my despair； indicating not that the result at which I
had arrived was the fruit of error or of a diseased state of my
mind； but on the contrary that I had thought correctly； and that my
thoughts coincided with the conclusions of the most powerful of
human minds。
It is no good deceiving oneself。 It is all vanity！ Happy
is he who has not been born： death is better than life； and one
must free oneself from life。
VII
Not finding an explanation in science I began to seek for it
in life； hoping to find it among the people around me。 And I began
to observe how the people around me people like myself lived；
and what their attitude was to this question which had brought me
to despair。
And this is what I found among people who were in the same
position as myself as regards education and manner of life。
I found that for people of my circle there were four ways out
of the terrible position in which we are all placed。
The first was that of ignorance。 It consists in not knowing；
not understanding； that life is an evil and an absurdity。 People
of this sort chiefly women； or very young or very dull people
have not yet understood that question of life which presented
itself to Schopenhauer； Solomon； and Buddha。 They see neither the
dragon that awaits them nor the mice gnawing the shrub by which
they are hanging； and they lick the drops of honey。 but they lick
those drops of honey only for a while： something will turn their
attention to the dragon and the mice； and there will be an end to
their licking。 From them I had nothing to learn one cannot
cease to know what one does know。
The second way out is epicureanism。 It consists； while
knowing the hopelessness of life； in making use meanwhile of the
advantages one has； disregarding the dragon and the mice； and
licking the honey in the best way； especially if there is much of
it within reach。 Solomon expresses this way out thus： 〃Then I
commended mirth； because a man hath no better thing under the sun；
than to eat； and to drink； and to be merry： and that this should
accompany him in his labour the days of his life； which God giveth
him under the sun。
〃Therefore eat thy bread with joy and drink thy wine with a
merry heart。。。。 Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all
the days of the life of thy vanity。。。for this is thy portion in
life and in thy labours which thou takest under the sun。。。。
Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do； do it with thy might； for there
is not work； nor device； nor knowledge； nor wisdom； in the grave；
whither thou goest。〃
That is the way in which the majority of people of our circle
make life possible for themselves。 Their circumstances furnish
them with more of welfare than of hardship； and their moral
dullness makes it possible for them to forget that the advantage of
their position is accidental； and that not everyone can have a
thousand wives and palaces like Solomon； that for everyone who has
a thousand wives there are a thousand without a wife； and that for
each palace there are a thousand people who have to build it in the
sweat of their brows； and that the accident that has today made me
a Solomon may tomorrow make me a Solomon's slave。 The dullness of
these people's imagination enables them to forget the things that
gave Buddha no peace the inevitability of sickness； old age； and
death； which today or tomorrow will destroy all these pleasures。
So think and feel the majority of people of our day and our
manner of life。 The fact that some of these people declare the
dullness of their thoughts and imaginations to be a philosophy；
which they call Positive； does not remove them； in my opinion； from
the ranks of those who； to avoid seeing the question； lick the
honey。 I could not imitate these people； not having their dullness
of imagination I could not artificially produce it in myself。 I
could not tear my eyes from the mice and the dragon； as no vital
man can after he has once seen them。
The third escape is that of strength and energy。 It consists
in destroying life； when one has understood that it is an evil and
an absurdity。 A few exceptionally strong and consistent people act
so。 Having understood the stupidity of the joke that has been
played on them； and having understood that it is better to be dead
than to be alive； and that it is best of all not to exist； they act
accordingly and promptly end this stupid joke； since there are
means： a rope round one's neck； water； a knife to stick into one's
heart； or the trains on the railways； and the number of those of
our circle who act in this way becomes greater and greater； and for
the most part they act so at the best time of their life； when the
strength of their mind is in full bloom and few habits degrading to
the mind have as yet been acquired。
I saw that this was the worthiest way of escape and I wished
to adopt it。
The fourth way out is that of weakness。 It consists in seeing
the truth of the situation and yet clinging to life； knowing in
advance that nothing can come of it。 People of this kind know that
death is better than life； but not having the strength to act
rationally to end the deception quickly and kill themselves
they seem to wait for something。 This is the escape of weakness；
for if I know what is best and it is within my power； why not yield
to what is best？ 。。。 I found myself in that category。
So people of my class evade the terrible contradiction in four
ways。 Strain my attention as I would； I saw no way except those
four。 One way was not to understand that life is senseless；
vanity； and an evil； and that it is better not to live。 I could
not help knowing this； and when I once knew it could not shut my
eyes to it。 the second way was to use life such as it is without
thinking of the future。 And I could not do that。 I； like Sakya
Muni； could not ride out hunting when I knew that old age；
suffering； and death exist。 My imagination was too vivid。 Nor
could I rejoice in the momentary accidents that for an instant
threw pleasure to my lot。 The third way； having under stood that
life is evil and stupid； was to end it by killing oneself。 I
understood that； but somehow still did not kill myself。 The fourth
way was to live like Solomon and Schopenhauer knowing that life
is a stupid joke played upon us； and still to go on living； washing
oneself； dressing； dining； talking； and even writing books。 This
was to me repulsive and tormenting； but I remained in that
position。
I see now that if I did not kill myself it was due to some dim
consciousness of the invalidity of my thoughts。 However convincing
and indubitable appeared to me the sequence of my thoughts and of
those of the wise that have brought us to the admission of the
senselessness of life； there remained