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words or actions seemed to her to compromise her dignity。
On this particular morning Madame de Mortsauf wore a rose…colored gown
patterned in tiny stripes； a collar with a wide hem； a black belt； and
little boots of the same hue。 Her hair was simply twisted round her
head； and held in place by a tortoise…shell comb。 Such； my dear
Natalie； is the imperfect sketch I promised you。 But the constant
emanation of her soul upon her family； that nurturing essence shed in
floods around her as the sun emits its light； her inward nature； her
cheerfulness on days serene； her resignation on stormy ones；all
those variations of expression by which character is displayed depend；
like the effects in the sky； on unexpected and fugitive circumstances；
which have no connection with each other except the background against
which they rest； though all are necessarily mingled with the events of
this history；truly a household epic； as great to the eyes of a wise
man as a tragedy to the eyes of the crowd； an epic in which you will
feel an interest； not only for the part I took in it； but for the
likeness that it bears to the destinies of so vast a number of women。
Everything at Clochegourde bore signs of a truly English cleanliness。
The room in which the countess received us was panelled throughout and
painted in two shades of gray。 The mantelpiece was ornamented with a
clock inserted in a block of mahogany and surmounted with a tazza； and
two large vases of white porcelain with gold lines； which held bunches
of Cape heather。 A lamp was on a pier…table； and a backgammon board on
legs before the fireplace。 Two wide bands of cotton held back the
white cambric curtains； which had no fringe。 The furniture was covered
with gray cotton bound with a green braid； and the tapestry on the
countess's frame told why the upholstery was thus covered。 Such
simplicity rose to grandeur。 No apartment； among all that I have seen
since； has given me such fertile； such teeming impressions as those
that filled my mind in that salon of Clochegourde； calm and composed
as the life of its mistress； where the conventual regularity of her
occupations made itself felt。 The greater part of my ideas in science
or politics； even the boldest of them； were born in that room； as
perfumes emanate from flowers； there grew the mysterious plant that
cast upon my soul its fructifying pollen； there glowed the solar
warmth which developed my good and shrivelled my evil qualities。
Through the windows the eye took in the valley from the heights of
Pont…de…Ruan to the chateau d'Azay； following the windings of the
further shore； picturesquely varied by the towers of Frapesle； the
church； the village； and the old manor…house of Sache； whose venerable
pile looked down upon the meadows。
In harmony with this reposeful life； and without other excitements to
emotion than those arising in the family； this scene conveyed to the
soul its own serenity。 If I had met her there for the first time；
between the count and her two children； instead of seeing her
resplendent in a ball dress； I should not have ravished that delirious
kiss； which now filled me with remorse and with the fear of having
lost the future of my love。 No； in the gloom of my unhappy life I
should have bent my knee and kissed the hem of her garment； wetting it
with tears； and then I might have flung myself into the Indre。 But
having breathed the jasmine perfume of her skin and drunk the milk of
that cup of love； my soul had acquired the knowledge and the hope of
human joys； I would live and await the coming of happiness as the
savage awaits his hour of vengeance； I longed to climb those trees； to
creep among the vines； to float in the river； I wanted the
companionship of night and its silence； I needed lassitude of body； I
craved the heat of the sun to make the eating of the delicious apple
into which I had bitten perfect。 Had she asked of me the singing
flower； the riches buried by the comrades of Morgan the destroyer； I
would have sought them； to obtain those other riches and that mute
flower for which I longed。
When my dream； the dream into which this first contemplation of my
idol plunged me； came to an end and I heard her speaking of Monsieur
de Mortsauf； the thought came that a woman must belong to her husband；
and a raging curiosity possessed me to see the owner of this treasure。
Two emotions filled my mind； hatred and fear；hatred which allowed of
no obstacles and measured all without shrinking； and a vague； but real
fear of the struggle； of its issue； and above all of HER。
〃Here is Monsieur de Mortsauf；〃 she said。
I sprang to my feet like a startled horse。 Though the movement was
seen by Monsieur de Chessel and the countess； neither made any
observation； for a diversion was effected at this moment by the
entrance of a little girl； whom I took to be about six years old； who
came in exclaiming； 〃Here's papa！〃
〃Madeleine？〃 said her mother； gently。
The child at once held out her hand to Monsieur de Chessel； and looked
attentively at me after making a little bow with an air of
astonishment。
〃Are you more satisfied about her health？〃 asked Monsieur de Chessel。
〃She is better；〃 replied the countess； caressing the little head which
was already nestling in her lap。
The next question of Monsieur de Chessel let me know that Madeleine
was nine years old； I showed great surprise； and immediately the
clouds gathered on the mother's brow。 My companion threw me a
significant look；one of those which form the education of men of the
world。 I had stumbled no doubt upon some maternal wound the covering
of which should have been respected。 The sickly child； whose eyes were
pallid and whose skin was white as a porcelain vase with a light
within it； would probably not have lived in the atmosphere of a city。
Country air and her mother's brooding care had kept the life in that
frail body； delicate as a hot…house plant growing in a harsh and
foreign climate。 Though in nothing did she remind me of her mother；
Madeleine seemed to have her soul； and that soul held her up。 Her hair
was scanty and black； her eyes and cheeks hollow； her arms thin； her
chest narrow； showing a battle between life and death； a duel without
truce in which the mother had so far been victorious。 The child willed
to live；perhaps to spare her mother； for at times； when not
observed； she fell into the attitude of a weeping…willow。 You might
have thought her a little gypsy dying of hunger； begging her way；
exhausted but always brave and dressed up to play her part。
〃Where have you left Jacques？〃 asked the countess； kissing the white
line which parted the child's hair into two bands that looked like a
crow's wings。
〃He is coming with papa。〃
Just then the count entered； holding his son by the hand。 Jacques； the
image of his sister； showed the same signs of weakness。 Seeing these
sickly children beside a mother so magnificently healthy it was
impossible not to guess at the causes of the grief which clouded her
brow and kept her silent on a subject she could take to God only。 As
he bowed； Monsieur de Mortsauf gave me a glance that was less
observing than awkwardly uneasy；the glance of a man whose distrust
grows out of his inability to analyze。 After explaining the
circumstances of our visit； and naming me to him； the countess gave
him her place and left the room。 The children； whose eyes were on
those of their mother as if they drew the light of theirs from hers；
tried to follow her； but she said； with a finger on her lips； 〃Stay
dears！〃 and they obeyed； but their eyes filled。 Ah！ to hear that one
word 〃dears〃 what tasks they would have undertaken！
Like the children； I felt less warm when she had left us。 My name
seemed to change the count's feeling toward me。 Cold and supercilious
in his first glance； he became at once； if not affectionate； at least
politely attentive； showing me every consideration and seeming pleased
to receive me as a guest。 My father had formerly done devoted service
to the Bourbons； and had played an important and perilous； though
secret part。 When their cause was lost by the elevation of Napoleon；
he took refuge in the quietu