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escaping him。 Our code of manners forbids the brutality of repressing
a woman； whereas repression with your sex is not only allurement to
ours； but is imposed upon you by conventions。 With us； on the
contrary； some unwritten law of masculine self…conceit ridicules a
man's modesty； we leave you the monopoly of that virtue； that you may
have the privilege of granting us favors； but reverse the case； and
man succumbs before sarcasm。
Though protected by my love； I was not of an age to be wholly
insensible to the triple seductions of pride； devotion； and beauty。
When Arabella laid at my feet the homage of a ball…room where she
reigned a queen； when she watched by glance to know if my taste
approved of her dress； and when she trembled with pleasure on seeing
that she pleased me； I was affected by her emotion。 Besides； she
occupied a social position where I could not escape her； I could not
refuse invitations in the diplomatic circle； her rank admitted her
everywhere； and with the cleverness all women display to obtain what
pleases them； she often contrived that the mistress of the house
should place me beside her at dinner。 On such occasions she spoke in
low tones to my ear。 〃If I were loved like Madame de Mortsauf；〃 she
said once； 〃I should sacrifice all。〃 She did submit herself with a
laugh in many humble ways； she promised me a discretion equal to any
test； and even asked that I would merely suffer her to love me。 〃Your
friend always； your mistress when you will；〃 she said。 At last； after
an evening when she had made herself so beautiful that she was certain
to have excited my desires； she came to me。 The scandal resounded
through England； where the aristocracy was horrified like heaven
itself at the fall of its highest angel。 Lady Dudley abandoned her
place in the British empyrean； gave up her wealth； and endeavored to
eclipse by her sacrifices HER whose virtue had been the cause of this
great disaster。 She took delight； like the devil on the pinnacle of
the temple； in showing me all the riches of her passionate kingdom。
Read me； I pray you； with indulgence。 The matter concerns one of the
most interesting problems of human life；a crisis to which most men
are subjected； and which I desire to explain； if only to place a
warning light upon the reef。 This beautiful woman； so slender； so
fragile； this milk…white creature； so yielding； so submissive； so
gentle； her brow so endearing； the hair that crowns it so fair and
fine； this tender woman； whose brilliancy is phosphorescent and
fugitive； has； in truth； an iron nature。 No horse； no matter how fiery
he may be； can conquer her vigorous wrist； or strive against that hand
so soft in appearance； but never tired。 She has the foot of a doe； a
thin； muscular little foot； indescribably graceful in outline。 She is
so strong that she fears no struggle； men cannot follow her on
horseback； she would win a steeple…chase against a centaur； she can
bring down a stag without stopping her horse。 Her body never
perspires； it inhales the fire of the atmosphere； and lives in water
under pain of not living at all。 Her love is African； her desires are
like the whirlwinds of the desertthe desert； whose torrid expanse is
in her eyes； the azure； love…laden desert； with its changeless skies；
its cool and starry nights。 What a contrast to Clochegourde！ the east
and the west！ the one drawing into her every drop of moisture for her
own nourishment； the other exuding her soul； wrapping her dear ones in
her luminous atmosphere； the one quick and slender； the other slow and
massive。
Have you ever reflected on the actual meaning of the manners and
customs and morals of England？ Is it not the deification of matter？ a
well…defined； carefully considered Epicureanism； judiciously applied？
No matter what may be said against the statement； England is
materialist；possibly she does not know it herself。 She lays claim to
religion and morality； from which； however； divine spirituality； the
catholic soul； is absent； and its fructifying grace cannot be replaced
by any counterfeit； however well presented it may be。 England
possesses in the highest degree that science of existence which turns
to account every particle of materiality； the science that makes her
women's slippers the most exquisite slippers in the world； gives to
their linen ineffable fragrance； lines their drawers with cedar；
serves tea carefully drawn； at a certain hour； banishes dust； nails
the carpets to the floors in every corner of the house； brushes the
cellar walls； polishes the knocker of the front door； oils the springs
of the carriage；in short； makes matter a nutritive and downy pulp；
clean and shining； in the midst of which the soul expires of enjoyment
and the frightful monotony of comfort in a life without contrasts；
deprived of spontaneity； and which； to sum all in one word； makes a
machine of you。
Thus I suddenly came to know； in the bosom of this British luxury； a
woman who is perhaps unique among her sex； who caught me in the nets
of a love excited by my indifference； and to the warmth of which I
opposed a stern continence；one of those loves possessed of
overwhelming charm； an electricity of their own； which lead us to the
skies through the ivory gates of slumber； or bear us thither on their
powerful pinions。 A love monstrously ungrateful； which laughs at the
bodies of those it kills； love without memory； a cruel love；
resembling the policy of the English nation； a love to which； alas；
most men yield。 You understand the problem？ Man is composed of matter
and spirit； animality comes to its end in him； and the angel begins in
him。 There lies the struggle we all pass through； between the future
destiny of which we are conscious and the influence of anterior
instincts from which we are not wholly detached；carnal love and
divine love。 One man combines them； another abstains altogether； some
there are who seek the satisfaction of their anterior appetites from
the whole sex； others idealize their love in one woman who is to them
the universe； some float irresolutely between the delights of matter
and the joys of soul； others spiritualize the body； requiring of it
that which it cannot give。
If； thinking over these leading characteristics of love； you take into
account the dislikes and the affinities which result from the
diversity of organisms； and which sooner or later break all ties
between those who have not fully tried each other； if you add to this
the mistakes arising from the hopes of those who live more
particularly either by their minds； or by their hearts； or by action；
who either think； or feel； or act； and whose tendency is misunderstood
in the close association in which two persons； equal counterparts；
find themselves； you will have great indulgence for sorrows to which
the world is pitiless。 Well； Lady Dudley gratified the instincts；
organs； appetites； the vices and virtues of the subtile matter of
which we are made； she was the mistress of the body； Madame de
Mortsauf was the wife of the soul。 The love which the mistress
satisfies has its limits； matter is finite； its inherent qualities
have an ascertained force； it is capable of saturation； often I felt a
void even in Paris； near Lady Dudley。 Infinitude is the region of the
heart； love had no limits at Clochegourde。 I loved Lady Dudley
passionately； and certainly； though the animal in her was magnificent；
she was also superior in mind； her sparkling and satirical
conversation had a wide range。 But I adored Henriette。 At night I wept
with happiness； in the morning with remorse。
Some women have the art to hide their jealousy under a tone of angelic
kindness； they are； like Lady Dudley； over thirty years of age。 Such
women know how to feel and how to calculate； they press out the juices
of to…day and think of the future also； they can stifle a moan； often
a natural one； with the will of a huntsman who pays no heed to a wound
in the ardor of the chase。 Without ever speaking of Madame de
Mortsauf； Arabella endeavored to kill her in my soul； where she ever
found her； her own passion increasing with the consciousness of that
invincible love。 Intending to triumph by compar