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light。 This was my condition then； you may be surprised at it now； but
have patience； the inconsistencies of the Vandenesse of to…day will be
explained to you。
I found society courteous and women most kind。 After the marriage of
the Duc de Berry the court resumed its former splendor and the glory
of the French fetes revived。 The Allied occupation was over；
prosperity reappeared； enjoyments were again possible。 Noted
personages； illustrious by rank； prominent by fortune； came from all
parts of Europe to the capital of the intellect； where the merits and
the vices of other countries were found magnified and whetted by the
charms of French intellect。
Five months after leaving Clochegourde my good angel wrote me； in the
middle of the winter； a despairing letter； telling me of the serious
illness of her son。 He was then out of danger； but there were many
fears for the future； the doctor said that precautions were necessary
for his lungsthe suggestion of a terrible idea which had put the
mother's heart in mourning。 Hardly had Jacques begun to convalesce；
and she could breathe again； when Madeleine made them all uneasy。 That
pretty plant； whose bloom had lately rewarded the mother's culture；
was now frail and pallid and anemic。 The countess； worn…out by
Jacques' long illness； found no courage； she said； to bear this
additional blow； and the ever present spectacle of these two dear
failing creatures made her insensible to the redoubled torment of her
husband's temper。 Thus the storms were again raging； tearing up by the
roots the hopes that were planted deepest in her bosom。 She was now at
the mercy of the count； weary of the struggle； she allowed him to
regain all the ground he had lost。
〃When all my strength is employed in caring for my children；〃 she
wrote； 〃how is it possible to employ it against Monsieur de Mortsauf；
how can I struggle against his aggressions when I am fighting against
death？ Standing here to…day； alone and much enfeebled； between these
two young images of mournful fate； I am overpowered with disgust；
invincible disgust for life。 What blow can I feel； to what affection
can I answer； when I see Jacques motionless on the terrace； scarcely a
sign of life about him； except in those dear eyes； large by
emaciation； hollow as those of an old man and； oh； fatal sign； full of
precocious intelligence contrasting with his physical debility。 When I
look at my pretty Madeleine； once so gay； so caressing； so blooming；
now white as death； her very hair and eyes seem to me to have paled；
she turns a languishing look upon me as if bidding me farewell；
nothing rouses her； nothing tempts her。 In spite of all my efforts I
cannot amuse my children； they smile at me； but their smile is only in
answer to my endearments； it does not come from them。 They weep
because they have no strength to play with me。 Suffering has enfeebled
their whole being； it has loosened even the ties that bound them to
me。
〃Thus you can well believe that Clochegourde is very sad。 Monsieur de
Mortsauf now rules everythingOh my friend！ you； my glory！〃 she
wrote； farther on； 〃you must indeed love me well to love me still； to
love me callous； ungrateful； turned to stone by grief。〃
CHAPTER III
THE TWO WOMEN
It was at this time； when I was never more deeply moved in my whole
being； when I lived in that soul to which I strove to send the
luminous breeze of the mornings and the hope of the crimsoned
evenings； that I met； in the salons of the Elysee…Bourbon； one of
those illustrious ladies who reign as sovereigns in society。 Immensely
rich； born of a family whose blood was pure from all misalliance since
the Conquest； married to one of the most distinguished old men of the
British peerage； it was nevertheless evident that these advantages
were mere accessories heightening this lady's beauty； graces； manners；
and wit； all of which had a brilliant quality which dazzled before it
charmed。 She was the idol of the day； reigning the more securely over
Parisian society because she possessed the quality most necessary to
success；the hand of iron in the velvet glove spoken of by
Bernadotte。
You know the singular characteristics of English people； the distance
and coldness of their own Channel which they put between them and
whoever has not been presented to them in a proper manner。 Humanity
seems to be an ant…hill on which they tread； they know none of their
species except the few they admit into their circle； they ignore even
the language of the rest； tongues may move and eyes may see in their
presence but neither sound nor look has reached them； to them； the
people are as if they were not。 The British present an image of their
own island； where law rules everything； where all is automatic in
every station of life； where the exercise of virtue appears to be the
necessary working of a machine which goes by clockwork。 Fortifications
of polished steel rise around the Englishwoman behind the golden wires
of her household cage （where the feed…box and the drinking…cup； the
perches and the food are exquisite in quality）； but they make her
irresistibly attractive。 No people ever trained married women so
carefully to hypocrisy by holding them rigidly between the two
extremes of death or social station； for them there is no middle path
between shame and honor； either the wrong is completed or it does not
exist； it is all or nothing；Hamlet's 〃To be or not to be。〃 This
alternative； coupled with the scorn to which the customs of her
country have trained her； make an Englishwoman a being apart in the
world。 She is a helpless creature； forced to be virtuous yet ready to
yield； condemned to live a lie in her heart； yet delightful in outward
appearancefor these English rest everything on appearances。 Hence
the special charms of their women： the enthusiasm for a love which is
all their life； the minuteness of their care for their persons； the
delicacy of their passion； so charmingly rendered in the famous scene
of Romeo and Juliet in which； with one stroke； Shakespeare's genius
depicted his country…women。
You； who envy them so many things； what can I tell you that you do not
know of these white sirens； impenetrable apparently but easily
fathomed； who believe that love suffices love； and turn enjoyments to
satiety by never varying them； whose soul has one note only； their
voice one syllablean ocean of love in themselves； it is true； and he
who has never swum there misses part of the poetry of the senses； as
he who has never seen the sea has lost some strings of his lyre。 You
know the why and wherefore of these words。 My relations with the
Marchioness of Dudley had a disastrous celebrity。 At an age when the
senses have dominion over our conduct； and when in my case they had
been violently repressed by circumstances； the image of the saint
bearing her slow martyrdom at Clochegourde shone so vividly before my
mind that I was able to resist all seductions。 It was the lustre of
this fidelity which attracted Lady Dudley's attention。 My resistance
stimulated her passion。 What she chiefly desired； like many
Englishwoman； was the spice of singularity； she wanted pepper；
capsicum； with her heart's food； just as Englishmen need condiments to
excite their appetite。 The dull languor forced into the lives of these
women by the constant perfection of everything about them； the
methodical regularity of their habits； leads them to adore the
romantic and to welcome difficulty。 I was wholly unable to judge of
such a character。 The more I retreated to a cold distance the more
impassioned Lady Dudley became。 The struggle； in which she gloried；
excited the curiosity of several persons； and this in itself was a
form of happiness which to her mind made ultimate triumph obligatory。
Ah！ I might have been saved if some good friend had then repeated to
me her cruel comment on my relations with Madame de Mortsauf。
〃I am wearied to death；〃 she said； 〃of these turtle…dove sighings。〃
Without seeking to justify my crime； I ask you to observe； Natalie；
that a man has fewer means of resisting a woman than she has of
escaping him。 Our code of manners forbids the brutality of repressing
a wo