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arrival； the countess took me by the arm； darted through an iron gate
which led into the vineyard； and dragged me hastily among the vines。
〃He will kill me！〃 she cried。 〃And I want to livefor my children's
sake。 But oh！ not a day's respite！ Always to walk among thorns！ to
come near falling every instant！ every instant to have to summon all
my strength to keep my balance！ No human being can long endure such
strain upon the system。 If I were certain of the ground I ought to
take； if my resistance could be a settled thing； then my mind might
concentrate upon itbut no； every day the attacks change character
and leave me without defence； my sorrows are not one； they are
manifold。 Ah！ my friend〃 she cried； leaning her head upon my
shoulder； and not continuing her confidence。 〃What will become of me？
Oh； what shall I do？〃 she said presently； struggling with thoughts she
did not express。 〃How can I resist？ He will kill me！ No； I will kill
myselfbut that would be a crime！ Escape？ yes； but my children！
Separate from him？ how； after fifteen years of marriage； how could I
ever tell my parents that I will not live with him？ for if my father
and mother came here he would be calm； polite； intelligent； judicious。
Besides； can married women look to fathers or mothers？ Do they not
belong body and soul to their husbands？ I could live tranquil if not
happyI have found strength in my chaste solitude； I admit it； but if
I am deprived of this negative happiness I too shall become insane。 My
resistance is based on powerful reasons which are not personal to
myself。 It is a crime to give birth to poor creatures condemned to
endless suffering。 Yet my position raises serious questions； so
serious that I dare not decide them alone； I cannot be judge and party
both。 To…morrow I will go to Tours and consult my new confessor； the
Abbe Birotteaufor my dear and virtuous Abbe de la Berge is dead；〃
she said； interrupting herself。 〃Though he was severe； I miss and
shall always miss his apostolic power。 His successor is an angel of
goodness； who pities but does not reprimand。 Still； all courage draws
fresh life from the heart of religion； what soul is not strengthened
by the voice of the Holy Spirit？ My God；〃 she said； drying her tears
and raising her eyes to heaven； 〃for what sin am I thus punished？I
believe； yes； Felix； I believe it； we must pass through a fiery
furnace before we reach the saints； the just made perfect of the upper
spheres。 Must I keep silence？ Am I forbidden； oh； my God； to cry to
the heart of a friend？ Do I love him too well？〃 She pressed me to her
heart as though she feared to lose me。 〃Who will solve my doubts？ My
conscience does not reproach me。 The stars shine from above on men；
may not the soul； the human star； shed its light upon a friend； if we
go to him with pure thoughts？〃
I listened to this dreadful cry in silence； holding her moist hand in
mine that was still more moist。 I pressed it with a force to which
Henriette replied with an equal pressure。
〃Where are you？〃 cried the count； who came towards us； bareheaded。
Ever since my return he had insisted on sharing our interviews；
either because he wanted amusement； or feared the countess would tell
me her sorrows and complain to me； or because he was jealous of a
pleasure he did not share。
〃How he follows me！〃 she cried； in a tone of despair。 〃Let us go into
the orchard； we shall escape him。 We can stoop as we run by the hedge；
and he will not see us。〃
We made the hedge a rampart and reached the enclosure； where we were
soon at a good distance from the count in an alley of almond…trees。
〃Dear Henriette；〃 I then said to her； pressing her arm against my
heart and stopping to contemplate her in her sorrow； 〃you have guided
me with true knowledge along the perilous ways of the great world； let
me in return give you some advice which may help you to end this duel
without witnesses； in which you must inevitably be worsted； for you
are fighting with unequal weapons。 You must not struggle any longer
with a madman〃
〃Hush！〃 she said； dashing aside the tears that rolled from her eyes。
〃Listen to me； dear；〃 I continued。 〃After a single hour's talk with
the count； which I force myself to endure for love of you； my thoughts
are bewildered； my head heavy； he makes me doubtful of my own
intellect； the same ideas repeated over and over again seem to burn
themselves on my brain。 Well…defined monomanias are not communicated；
but when the madness consists in a distorted way of looking at
everything； and when it lurks under all discussions； then it can and
does injure the minds of those who live with it。 Your patience is
sublime； but will it not end in disordering you？ For your sake； for
that of your children； change your system with the count。 Your
adorable kindness has made him selfish； you have treated him as a
mother treats the child she spoils； but now； if you want to liveand
you do want it；〃 I said； looking at her； 〃use the control you have
over him。 You know what it is； he loves you and he fears you； make him
fear you more； oppose his erratic will with your firm will。 Extend
your power over him； confine his madness to a moral sphere just as we
lock maniacs in a cell。〃
〃Dear child；〃 she said； smiling bitterly； 〃a woman without a heart
might do it。 But I am a mother； I should make a poor jailer。 Yes； I
can suffer； but I cannot make others suffer。 Never！〃 she said； 〃never！
not even to obtain some great and honorable result。 Besides； I should
have to lie in my heart； disguise my voice； lower my head； degrade my
gesturedo not ask of me such falsehoods。 I can stand between
Monsieur de Mortsauf and his children； I willingly receive his blows
that they may not fall on others； I can do all that； and will do it to
conciliate conflicting interests； but I can do no more。〃
〃Let me worship thee； O saint； thrice holy！〃 I exclaimed； kneeling at
her feet and kissing her robe； with which I wiped my tears。 〃But if he
kills you？〃 I cried。
She turned pale and said； lifting her eyes to heaven：
〃God's will be done！〃
〃Do you know that the king said to your father； 'So that devil of a
Mortsauf is still living'？〃
〃A jest on the lips of the king；〃 she said； 〃is a crime when repeated
here。〃
In spite of our precautions the count had tracked us； he now arrived；
bathed in perspiration； and sat down under a walnut…tree where the
countess had stopped to give me that rebuke。 I began to talk about the
vintage； the count was silent； taking no notice of the dampness under
the tree。 After a few insignificant remarks； interspersed with pauses
that were very significant； he complained of nausea and headache； but
he spoke gently； and did not appeal to our pity； or describe his
sufferings in his usual exaggerated way。 We paid no attention to him。
When we reached the house； he said he felt worse and should go to bed；
which he did； quite naturally and with much less complaint than usual。
We took advantage of the respite and went down to our dear terrace
accompanied by Madeleine。
〃Let us get that boat and go upon the river；〃 said the countess after
we had made a few turns。 〃We might go and look at the fishing which is
going on to…day。〃
We went out by the little gate； found the punt； jumped into it and
were presently paddling up the Loire。 Like three children amused with
trifles； we looked at the sedges along the banks and the blue and
green dragon…flies； the countess wondered perhaps that she was able to
enjoy such peaceful pleasures in the midst of her poignant griefs； but
Nature's calm； indifferent to our struggles； has a magic gift of
consolation。 The tumults of a love full of restrained desires
harmonize with the wash of the water； the flowers that the hand of man
has never wilted are the voice of his secret dreams； the voluptuous
swaying of the boat vaguely responds to the thoughts that are floating
in his soul。 We felt the languid influence of this double poesy。
Words； tuned to the diapason of nature； disclosed mysterious graces；
looks were impassioned rays sharing the light shed broadcast by the
sun on the glowing meadows。 The river was a path along which we flew。
Our spirit； no longer